A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and I do genuinely love her but a couple months ago she got really drunk on a night out with her friends and ending up dancing and kissing another guy AND they exchanged numbers. Realising what she had done she left the club and went home and when the guy txted her the next day she told him not to contact her again. She told me a couple of days later and we almost broke up but I decided that I could give her another chance but now i have major trust issues. All of her friends are guys including her best friend who she is very close with. She told me that she will always put him first and she said they kissed 2 years ago but nothing has ever happened since cos they realised it was purely platonic. However, I am still weary whenever she hangs out with him or any of her other male friends (which is most of them). She also talks to the majority of her past lover saying that they stayed friends after and there's no point in losing a friend just because they had sex.Am I crazy for staying with her? I just feel like there is so much hassle and maybe I should break up with her. But I do love her and if it wasn't for my trust issues with her I feel like we could have a future together. Am I just being blinded by love?Any comments would be appreciated. Thanks
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best friend, broke up, drunk, exchanged numbers, her past, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Latti  +, writes (29 April 2012):
You have these feelings for a reason! Most of my guy friends are not FRIENDS by choice. Its because, that's all I really wanted...but given the opportunity to sleep with me...they would!
Having guy friends is fine, but yes, she likes the attention. If she told you that her guy best friend comes first.....her loyalty is not to you & she does not respect you!
Yes, she told you about her little situation, but I am willing to bet money...she left out a whole lot of details! She does not respect the relationship very much & why is she going out getting drunk with other guys???? Well my friend,
A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 It's not you being blinded by love it's you being blinded by jealousy .. She got drunk ok we all do silly things when drunk but she did the right thing and said do not contact me again.....
Her friends are guys I'm sure she had them as friends when you met her...
Your feeling insecure and are venting it at her because you feel unsure believe me if she was cheating then why stay with you and why be so honest to you.. Tell her how you feel and let her know that it's messing with you if you keep being this way you will destroy your relationship with her...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): "if it wasn't for my trust issues with her I feel like we could have a future together."And she's doing absolutely nothing to resolve those trust issues, only exacerbating them while being completely oblivious to and/or inconsiderate of your feelings, so as of now you have no reason to believe you could have a future together and you've given no tangible concrete coherent explanation for why you'd even want a future with this b-word who has come out and said she will ALWAYS put someone else first. That alone should have told you that you have no future together. "Am I just being blinded by love?"No, it's just your dick blocking your vision. Brush it away from your eyes and you'll be able to see her for exactly what she is. You keep saying you "love" her but glaringly absent from your post is any specific mention of any specific redeeming quality which would answer one very simple question: "Why?" Don't need the proverbial "her good qualities are too numerous to list," just enough examples to offset your (quite legitimate) grievances.
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A
male
reader, anonymous12345150 +, writes (28 April 2012):
friends with guys is 1 thing,
friends with guy she's been fucked by is another
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A
male
reader, anonymous12345150 +, writes (28 April 2012):
i was in a similar situation i could handle the stuff your describing for about 6/8 months but in the end it all drove me crazy and i couldn't act ok with it anymore so a year and a half down the line it ended i wouldn't stay with a cheat but do what feels right i guess
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