A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have recently broken up with my boyfriend of nearly two years, as we just were not getting on very well. he can not accept that it is over which is making me confused as to what i want as i was the one who ended it. although i think that i would get back with him if i didnt have other distractions from other men. one of which is someone that i used to be good friends and formed a relationship with five years ago and also lost my virginity to, my first love. i hadnt spoken to him for about 3 years and recntly he had got back in contact, i do really like him and all the feeling i had for him have come flooding back but, he has a girlfriend now, i get the feeling he wants more than friendship i have told him that this wont be possible when he has a girlfriend and he says he wants to take it slow, it that because he wants the best of both worlds or because we havent spoken for a long time? the second guy is some one i had a fling with about 3 years ago after a break down of another relationship we have always had chemistry but nothing became from it before because we were both to scared to say how we felt, now we have nothing seems to be moving still, does he really like me or did he just like the idea of the challange when i had a boyfriend. im so confused! i know what advise i would give stay single find your self but thats easier said than done. help!
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 It sounds as if you may had developed a relationship with the fling of 3 years ago when you weren't quiet emotionally ready to move on. It is often what one terms as rebound. It doesn't mean that you didn't develope real feelings for this person. Remember why and how it ended. Now think past that to the other ex b/f whom you just spent the better part of 2 years with. Why were you with him in the first place? Evaluate your feelings and why you decided to call if off with him. Well into this senario you feel confused that this same person seems to making you confused because he can't accept the breakup. When you said yourself "although I think I would get back with him if I didn't have other distractions from other men". It seems that still you may not be quiet ready for moving into another committed type of relationship. Making a reconnection with an old flame should be taken cautiously because remember they became and ex for a reason. It could possibly be that you really care for the ex b/f the same as the old flame but for different reasons you don't see it just now. Give yourself time to reflect and put your frame of mind in sync. Take your time to make any decision that could alter the course of you life forever. I hope you find what you are looking for in either of these two men. Sometimes people make better friends than lovers. Sometimes people just have to let go and let things happen. Whatever your case don't rush anything and hopefully the outcome will be best for all concerned. In other words.. Take a break from the b/f thing and give yourself time to make a wiser decision. Many blessings and Godspeed.
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