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Am I in love with my teacher, or is this a crush?

Tagged as: Age differences, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2005) 81 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2015)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi everyone I am 16 and I want to know if I am in love with my 33 year old school teacher. I have meetings with him as he is my mentor, but whenever I see him my knees go weak and I get butterflies in my stomach really badly.

I find it really hard to concentrate in my classes because I think about him all of the time. Am I in love with this man or do I just have a crush on him?

Please help me. I can't talk to my friends about it, because they will laugh at me for fancying a teacher. thank you xx

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (13 June 2015):

Abella agony auntAnd if you want even more answers then please scroll through the answers on the right to this article below and you can find even more posts on "I have a huge crush on my teacher"

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/22--great-articles-from-great-aunts-and.html

Teacher crushes and Doctor crushes are a very common occurrence. Fortunately most teachers and doctor recognise how inappropriate such relationships are with a vulnerable person

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008):

WOW its good to feel that your not alone on this, as i was beginning to think i was the only one who thought this. I have really liked my teacher well ex teacher as left school now ever since i saw him 4 years ago. Its mad as 2 years after not seing him i still feel the same. But even though i emphaise with your situation you just have to think about the big picture. It is illegal for them to do anything so you just have to try and move on. I am not going to tell you that is easy as it inst as shown by my situation. It hurts like hell. but its just this shit life. I gueese everyhting happens for a reason. Good luck woth it, and i hope it dont go on like mine has.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008):

I know how everyone feels! I am an 18 year old freshman in college and my teacher is a 26 year old visiting professor from overseas. The only thing that will help you is honesty. I told her after many weeks of awkward study sessions, and embarrassing classroom discussions. Although the results were not what I expected, I feel much better now. Most people will understand how you feel in a situation such as this. It's better not to bottle it up, but to let it out in a healthy way.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008):

I wonder how many people read this page thinking 'This is just like me' but denying it to themself?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008):

I cannot stress how much i relate to this situation, except my english teacher is an asshole and we have crossed conversation boundary. my freshman year, he gazed continuously at me...we are close, except, as the days pass, there is a strain. a consistent nagging that forces me to tremble and him to become paranoid. his job may be at stake. he speaks to me differently. i have a psychic friend, who is my confidant. i trust this woman with my life, and her "gift" is completely plausible. she made sense out of my situation..and let me tell you: my feelings and this interest is not completely unrequited. i am 15 years old, but an old soul. i appear older than i am, both mind and body. he is an immature 26 year old man:tall, dark, and handsome. he thinks he is 12, and this i don't agree with. him and i have a love-hate relationship. if this appear to be strenuous, we ignore each other...basically shun. it is not right for a teacher to do this. he has helped me through my difficult times and has offered me advice. though, later on he alluded to Hunter S.Thompson and said advice is useless. make up your damn mind!!!! you are studying to be a counselor. dude, you live to offer solace. don't contradict yourself.

I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. he is good looking enough to be on magazine covers, withholding the most beautiful hazel eyes in the world. they are rimmed with coal black eyelashes that cascade for miles and miles. my feelings are diminishing, only because he is getting me to dislike him, which is his intention, i am sure. he has always been catered to and expects the world and all of its joys to be handed to him on a silver platter. lives with mother darling. this man does things to me; makes me seethe, makes me burn with desire...but how many times have we seen this occurence portrayed in many ways? i have a strong feeling that we will be in touch once graduation comes along. i am in no rush, although i wouldn;t mind speeding up time...sirah!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

Oh my god it's so unbeleivable to hear all these other peaople talking about stuff that i thought only i felt! ive been in love with my physics teacher since he taught me for science in year 9 more than a year ago, and i just love everything about him and it is so good to get this off my chest. he is just so wonderful in every way, and i think im a little obsessed with him, but i cant help it, becuase i just want to know everything about him. i can't feel anything for guys my own age because they all look so ugly and immature compared to him, and i don't think ill ever get over him, which is what everyone else is saying. its so strange to write all this. i would probably agree to having a toe of mine cut off if he was to love me back, but he's 31 and i'm 15. Still, its made me better at the subject he teaches, as im constantly trying to impress him by revising the upcoming topics then answering all his questions. i always feel like a stupid little child around him though, and it is wreaking havoc on my already non existant self confidence. im so depressed, mostly becuase of this unrequited love, and i just wish he could possibly see me the way i see him. its so good to write all this. just remember if you're reading this: you are not alone. i guess it must just be some teenage hormonal thing, and everyone would say that i'll get over him, and maybe someday i will, but right now, that seems sooooo unlikely. I think the healthy thing to do would be to just get over him, but its not exactly like i should be giving advice as there is no way in hell that i'm ever going to get over him. i just feel like we're perfect for each other, even though we're probably not. its so unfair.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008):

i'm also crushing on a teacher right now.

i think it's cos she's so amazing.

she pays attention to you and cares cos it's her JOB.

no one else seems to care about you! but her! omg!

you only see the wonderful side of her.

oh how i wish she would do something so malicious that i will hate her!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008):

omg i am so relived that there are more people who like their teachers ... i like my art teacher but hes 38 nd im almost 15 ... it sounds so weired but it seems like i am in love with him , he is sooo perfect in everway its unimaginable... but i dont know what to do either...

its heart breaking coz hes married with children... but i try not to think of that...im sorry bout not helping you ... good luck !

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008):

Had 5 teacher crushes in the past 5 years.

#1: about a year

#2: 3 years

#3: 2 years

#4: 6 months

#5: Started recently.

Hmm, if I had actual relationships with each of them, i'll be quite a player XD

But yea, I suppose for me it's more of an admiration, father figure issue than romantic feelings. And frankly, if any of them actually reprocicrated, i'll be disgusted since it'll ruin their perfect image in me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008):

Wow, i'm not retarded. thank god :) i know no one will probably read this, but i have to get it out of my system... I'm 16 and my teacher is in his early 40's. i think he's adorable, sweet, funny, well..perfect. and as much as i've tried to STOP liking him, it doesn't work...It sucks. It's just that, he always manages to make me laugh, and cheer me up. And here's the big thing: I don't have problems, or at least when I do, I NEVER talk to anyone about them, not even my parents. But somehow, this guy has the ability to know when somethings not right with me. So he's always asking whats wrong, and he actually cares, and ugh...it's just so frustrating! And I can trust him too, which makes it worse...idk, i still think i'm retarded and i wish this crazy thing would stop, but at the same time i don't! You have noooo idea how bad it is! I HATE weekends, and I'm sure you can guess why! I don't know what i'm gonna do when summer rolls around... so yeah, no one is gonna read this, and i don't think it really helped, but yeah. :/

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008):

Hi, my name is Adam.

I'm so glad to hear that there are others having the same problem that I'm having. I think I am in love with my English teacher. She has the most gorgeous set of green eyes that I've ever seen, and I look forward to seeing her everyday. I'm currently living in Texas with my grandparents, while the rest of my family is living in Idaho. To be perfectly honest, I almost moved back a couple of times, but when it came down to it, thinking of leaving and never seeing her again was probably the worst feeling I've ever had in my life.

LOL, I know this doesn't help you at all, but it feels good to get it off my chest.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008):

Well, you were probably told this 127389172389 times, but don't tell him. Or, at least, don't tell him while you are his student. Idk. you may land his ass in jail. However, what's really awesome is, your crush will cause you to think about him more, paying more attention in his class, and then.... SHAZAM! Your grades have just skyrocketed because you haven't missed a word this teacher has said.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008):

I can't believe there are so many of you having the same problem as i do!! I'm 17 and I really like my physics teacher,40, and yeah, i know everything about him. We never really talked much cuz i was too shy to talk to him. everytime i see him, my mind will go blank and i don't know what to say.

he's really funny!(to me) my friends don't think he's funny but i think he has this weird sense of humor. i often find myself the only laughing when he said something. my friends thought i went nuts or something. i'm sure i'm not just attracted by his looks whatsoever cuz he's really not that good looking. i love the way he talks and i just love being around with him. i worked very hard to be the first in physics just to gain his attention.(I am the first in physics) sometimes i would try to find some questions to ask him even though i've already understood. all my friends know that i like him. i'm not sure whether he knows but i think he does. cuz i gave him lots of personalized gifts. on teachers'day, he came into my class while i was doing some computer stuff. then everyone was like telling me "hey, mr shone's here!"

i'm so frustrated now cuz i've already left the school. i really miss him and physics lessons are so boring without him!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

I can answer this easily, When girls have a crush on somebody, they get your feeling, thats why so many girls tend to "fall in love" with people but later realize it was just a crush. I do not think you are in love, but you probably are just attracted

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007):

well i think you might be confused when you think your in love with him it could just be that you admire him and sort of look up to him in a way. Many people get confused too over feelings with their older teacher. So instead of just looking up to him cos hes male your expressing it in a different way. I hope I'm some help to you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007):

I have to admit, I also have a crush on one of my teachers. He is 23 and I am 13. He's actually pretty hot and some of my friends actually agree. When I see him, I just feel like I have to get him to notice me. And he does, I just can't explain what it is about him that gets my attention. Maybe, its just his body, sense of humor, or just the way he acts all the time. He is so my type. Too bad I'm too young.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007):

hi!

my name is kirsty! im 15 and have the same problem. i dont no whether i fancy or in love with him! hes very hot and really nice!!! i also get butterflies in my stomache whenever i see him!!

i think that you just have a crush on him!! if you are in love with him you would dream about him and everything!! i think i am in love with my teacher i dream about him and everything, i always think about him and cnt consentrate in his lesson

hope this helps

kirsty

x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007):

I am in currently in 10 grade and have a hearing disability. I have a huge crush on hear since last year. She is my resource room teacher so I have half my classes with her. I love her flirty voice,beautiful smile and brown hair. I have constant fantasies about her. I even miss her during the holidays and weekends. Every time we are alone in the classroom I am filled with excitement. I even find myself staring at her. Sometimes she gives me flirty comments which I really like. That sucks though because a relationship with a teacher is illegial and she's marrried with kids.

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A female reader, hazeleyedgal United States +, writes (24 November 2007):

you are SO not the only one. I really really like my teacher. she is so smart, funny, and really sweet. Though she is 39/40 and I am only 17, I still think she is great. just seeing her smile, and hearing her laugh makes me smile. I would do anything for her. for me, that's love. it does vary from person to person. I recommend comparing the likes and loves of your teacher. see which you have more of in the end =)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007):

I have I guess a crush on a teacher who is 52 (I'm 17). I try to keep on telling myself I admire him as a person, and as a teacher, and deep down, I think that might be what this really is. When I talk about him with my friends, it feels like love, but when I actually talk to him, it's something better than that, like he's someone I talk to for guidance, and will help me not only with homework but with anything. My focus sometimes is completely lost when I think about him, or I seem like a complete stalker, and my friends have told me to just stop it, but definitely harder than it seems!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

Hi,

I know exactly how u feel. I'm a 15 year old boy and I'm in love with my 23 year old French teacher. She always has a laugh with me and I talk to her about everything. I feel comfortable with her around and I know I love her. You don't need to ask questions on the internet, if u truly feel that u want 2 be with this teacher, then it's love. A crush is really just a feeling of really LIKING your teacher and that u get along well wit dem. It's up 2 u how u feel. No one else

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007):

hey

i know exactly how u are feeling, i am 16 too and i have a crush on my teacher hu is 35 and ive had a crush on him for 3 years now. wen i was 13, i thought it was all a stupid phase that was for immature kids, but it never went away and everyday isnt easier than the one before. i love this guy to pieces, hes amazing, but i think that it must be only a crush because as you know, you could not do anythin physically with the teacher and i have never had any contact with my teacher so i wud say that it is just a crush and it will leave u wen u find urself a partner but for now enjoy it! lol thats wat i say, enjoy the freedom, its only human nature to fancy another human and teachers a role models that we look up to, maybe more inclined to accept advice from a teacher rather than your parents so you may just admire them...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

I was So happy to find this site...to read most of these..and to realise i aint alone....iv been in love with my teacher for 5 years now...an each day it never gets easier....the fact hes the most lovlest teacher , who always makes me feel better, compliments me...an hes a flirty sorta teacher so it doesnt help,...he means everything to me....iv been counsering...they dont seem to understand me properly...I have an Eating Disroder...because of him...i thought mayb if i was thinner he`d feel the same.....soudns silly buh thats just the way it is....If i like a guy my age....slowly my feelings for the teacher grow evan stronger so i end up not bein able to go out with guys my age because im scared it`ll end up like my last realtionship...i liked him alot buh i had to end it after it bein 9 months all because i couldnt cope with a realtionship and liking this teacher

im bettin non of this is making sence at all, Its all just comin out i aint keepn track waht im writin for exact.

buh the fact im leavin School soon is killing me..i want to carry on for 6 form so i can be in his class still an he says he wants me to stay..buh i want to go off to collage to start a new life anf forget him ...but it feels to hard..im scared who`ll i be..i mean...cuz he`s all i think about, hes bacily my life..and when he`s gone...its like ill be nothing..I know no one will read this probably..buh it is nice to just get it out on a site where peole can relate to your problems.

Im always misrible because off him

Its horrible the fact everyone i know doesnt udnerstand how i feel at all...tehy just thinks its sommert ill get over..evan though its lasted 5 years an still growin strong...am i in love?

I just dont know what to do anymore an want to give up on everything.

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):

I'm seventeen now, and while I've been at school I've felt "in love" with at least three teachers during my education. At the moment I'm obsessed with my maths teacher, and it's killing me. It's so unhelpful when people say it's just a 'silly crush', because whether it is or not, being told that doesn't change my feelings in the slightest. I know I will get over it, but that doesn't stop my pain in the moment. I get obsessive really quickly and easily about people, and I don't find any boys my age attractive at all, I always fall for older men.

I am also struggling with an eating disorder at the moment, and I'm not sure whether I want to recover or not, but I know this definately isn't helping. I keep thinking 'If I'm thin then he'll notice me.". And I know it wouldn't be in a positive way but I don't care any more. I'm leaving school soon and this is my last chance.

I think it is definately a common thing though, for young girls to feel like this about their teachers. I think it can be a healthy feeling as long as it is kept private and doesn't interfere majorly with your life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

Hello everyone!

Erm, I was just mucking around looking at problem pages and I saw this one. I decided to read it, as a laugh first of all, (no offence), but then when I actually read it, it actually made me feel pretty sad. It took me back in time about 4 years!

I'm now 17, with a really wonderful boyfriend, aged 27, and we are really in love.

The reason I'm telling you this, is not to gloat, but to tell you, first of all that age gaps mean nothing. I notice that alot of you girls are worrying about that fact. If its love, I know this is cheesy, but the age will not matter, kind of, unless your like really under the age of consent, but if your say 16/17 (18 in USA!) and the guy is say up to 15 years older? then its not a problem.

Okay secondly, don't beat yourself up about it. You all seem wonderful people. Some of you are saying that your even attracted to unnattractive teachers?! Thats such a sweet thing to say, at the very least im sure these men would be so flattered you even looked twice at them!

And okay, heres the real reason I decided to sign up and write something. I just want to assure you that I too have felt something for a teacher, I even felt like I was in love.

He took over from my year 8, ("8th grade!") old mess of a teacher! and I had him for about a year and a half. He was very attractive, most girls agreed he was. They probably even had crushes. But it was more to me. I used to try and see him anytime I could. When he was teaching, I couldn't take my eyes off him, I used to stay behind because I 'didn't undersatnd the homework' , yes pathetic, I know.

I used to think about him every night and, pretty much all day. It really felt like love. All they boys in my year, well in any of the school, just seemed like immature ugly little rodents compared to him. I held him up so high, and I really felt like I'd do anything just for him to like hold me in his arms. It was awful.

The worst was that I was having trouble with a bitchy group of friends, and I would sometimes chat to him about it when he could see I was upset. This made me love him even more, or what I thought was love.

I used to misbehave a little in his classes, which he laughed at at first, but then I guess that, joined with the fact that I couldn't even breathe when I saw him, meant all my work started slipping, without me even realising. He came over to me and asked for a private word. I don't know what I was expecting him to say, well yes I do!

But it wasn't that. He said the head of the department had notice me slacking and wanted to move me to his set to help me out a bit.

I was absolutely torn apart.

Then, everything changed, this is very shallow, but that little tiny bald patch I had seen but swept aside suddenly took root and festered.

I guess not being around him, had calmed my obsession, and after that Christmas half term, I started to see him for his age, I was never sure, but I'm guessing like in his late 20's early 30's when I was about 14, so now he'd be maybe, 32, 33? Anyway, I noticed how 'old' he was compared to me, and I think all the feelings just dissolved.

Sorry this was so long winded, I just got carried away. But I've actually never told anyone this, I thought they'd think I was an utter loser. It does feel great to get it out by the way! Even if it's just writing feelings down.

My point is, and I do have one!, that no matter what you think, these feelings are bound to g away, and you will find a lovely boy/man lol who feels for you what you do for them.

I know people get feelings for teachers, its a wierd thing that just happens, but trust me, it not love. It's not.

I'm soon to be 18, and am in my last few months of college. Beacause my high school is sort of connected with it, that teacher teaches a few lectures a week, not to me I don't do that subject, but I see him wandering around now and again, and he'll smile at me with his now shaven black hair! (oh, that really is such a shame)

I can't help but smile to myself sometimes when I think back to a time when a smile from him would have been the highlight of my week, and how I couldn't even look at him without getting a crunching pain in my stomach.

Now I feel nothing, it's incredibly strange, but I'm so glad!

I really hope you all sort yours out, and try not to get down, think about the future, and that this is a temporary crush, or, slight obsession..!

Cheers, and even if no-one reads this, thanks f*ck it's out of my system!!!!!!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007):

I know how you feel, i am 14 and he is ALOT older than me (early 40s). I have liked him for 2 and a bit years. He isn't good looking, some think he is the ugliest in the school but when you look properly you realise they aren''t ugly. He has the best smile in the world and he looks ALOT younger than he is. I thought he was about 31. He is married and has a baby boy and i have never felt so depressed in my life, especially when i found that out. I have been doing extra work out of school just so i can get into his class after christmas. I think about him 24/7 and i got/get so upset about it that i couldn't bear it and didn't want to live, i have many scars because of it and suggest you try to forget about him. I don't know what to do, i get so, so down and need help, i have dreams about him too and love him soooooo much.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007):

i'm going through the same thing! Oh my gosh, i am just like...in love with him. I always look forward to his class. He always just makes me feel good about myself. He tells me that i'm really smart, and he always compliments my work and stuff, and he's soooo funny. and really, really attractive. i'm sure it's just a crush, but man, he is the best. plus he's my running club coach and basketball coach. he's perfect. and married...and has a kid..so yeah...not looking too good for me...:P just kidding. I mean...it's not...but this will pass. as i said...just a crush..so yeah...good luck with your problem. you' probably just have a crush on him. it happens to everyone at some point, i think.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

I can completely relate to how you are feeling. I'm madly in love with my teacher too, and I have no idea what to do. I worship the ground he walks on and it feels so good to get this out and not feel like a prat.

He's in his thrities and I'm fourteen. I bet everyone thinks that this is just a crush and I'll get over it, which I know for a fact I won't. I've loved this man for over three years now and I'd do anything to be with him. I get butterflies when I'm with him and I feel like all the air has left my lungs. Everything else seems to fade away and it's like me and him are the only people around. I love him so much it actually hurts at times.

So you aren't alone.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007):

i think i now what your going thrue i just think its a normal crush you now u get a crush you feel weired all swety its a normal stage anyway trust me it will go away well maybe i meen a grown man i dont think he likes us teenage girls i should now i like a teacher and im a teen ager they wont fall in love with us it would take a miricle so its just a crush phase at least you should hope it is!!!!!!?????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007):

i think i now what your going thrue i just think its a normal crush you now u get a crush you feel weired all swety its a normal stage anyway trust me it will go away well maybe i meen a grown man i dont think he likes us teenage girls i should now i like a teacher and im a teen ager they wont fall in love with us it would take a miricle so its just a crush phase at least you should hope it is!!!!!!?????

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A female reader, msTKD4eva United Kingdom +, writes (19 September 2007):

i know what you are feeling, i feel the same for my sicnece teacher( old science teacher) he was soo lovely and he had these wonderful chocolate brown eyes, i think i am in love with him, feels good to be able to tell someone without feeling stupid

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

When I in high school, my friend and I decided to write a love/lust letter to a teacher in our school. He was a youn teacher and was okay looking. We wrote the letters and put it in his mailbox at school. I got caught and the people at school thought I had sexual problems and was in love with him. It was very embarassing. And to make matters worse I got his class a year later and had to sit thru his classes knowing that he thought I wanted him etc. Recently I graduated and he no longer works there. But I do allow myself to indulge in the fantasies of being with him. It turns out I developed a crush on him after the incident.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

It sounds to be like its just a crush. You must get over it. You don't want to end up embarassed if he finds out. Trust me! I have experience.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007):

well i am 13 and i am sooooooo in love with my teacher and i fell rather trapped i can'r fancy anyone my own age because i cant get him off my mind its driving me crazy. everytime i see him i go weak at the nee's my heart leaps out my chest and i get butterflies in my stomach. He always talks to me which is even worse because as soon as i get him off my mind he comes back. I stare at him in class and he has the nicest smile in the world because he looks like jason orange from take that he is 27 with a wife but he flirts with me all the time he winks at me and jokes with me. but I also think that people fancy there teachers because they are so supportive and stand by you through thick and thin also because they are nice to you and always compement you. so i am confused and my friends think its slightly wierd but they understand all the same.

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A male reader, MusicTeacher Australia +, writes (2 September 2007):

Hey All!

I keep reading the advice from people responding to teacher crushes who say "...of course you realise your teacher won't possibly have the same feelings for you."

I'm a music teacher (not at a school, just privately) and I recently fell in Love with a student of mine. I'm 38, she's 16.

I started teaching her and her brother last year, and helped them put a bit of a band together. They put on a performance at a Christmas party, then afterwards there was a bit of dancing. She and I were dancing to some faster songs, then something slower came on and we danced close. When the next fast song came on, we just kept holding each other closely. We never wanted to let go of each other. Gotta love those slow dances!

She's in Year 11, she's smart, arty, speaks several languages, has spent 6 months living in France. She's cute and sexy and smells so nice. She was teaching me to speak French, and I have learned so much from her, and she from me, partly because of the age difference, and because she's so damn smart.

After seven wonderful months together, she broke up with me. She's met someone her own age. I'm so heartbroken! I loved spending my time with her.

Dunno what the point of this story is, but i hope it gives you all something to think about!

PS this was all done with her parents permission, but maybe not their "blessing".

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

Its really reassuring that you guys all feel the same way.

I've had a mad crush on my teacher for roughly a year now and I simply can't erase him from my mind! The friends that I have told have been generally supportive, but I know that they think its weird.

I'm just attracted to him somehow...he isn't the most handsome guy in the world, but I just like him! I hope to god that I get him next year, if not, I'll be really depressed. But I've been lucky enough to actually find him online, and we've had alot of cool conversations which is nice. I know It'll pass eventually, but right now it feels like it won't stop!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007):

I know how you all feel. I'm madly in love with a teacher at my school. I'm 13 and he's 27, I know what you're thinking...I'm too young and he's too old. But I can't even explain the feelings that he gives me. We are friends and we talk to each other alot. We sometimes get to play basketball together...that is always fun. I even recall when I first saw him. It was the first day of 6th grade and it was love at first sight. I didn't really think much of it until this year when I spend alot of time with him. I just ...I love him so much. The thought of him keeps me up at night, and I sometimes cry myself to sleep thinking about him. It kills me that he has no idea that I like him. I plan to drop some hints this year, even if he doesn't like me back I want him to know that I like him. He's married which just crushes me. But, he doesn't have any kids. He is sooooo cute and INSANLY FUNNY!! I love him sooo much and I don't know what to do. I wish I could be with him...oh I truly wish...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007):

Look, Iam just a student, from our school and i have met this teacher SHE is a new teacher from our school, and i got really close to her... and something that i have feel, i think im in love! But she is female and iam also a female... Am i a lesbian or something??! but for real iam not, even in our class i cannot concentrate with my studies just because of HER... What should i do? please i need advice, am i in love of this teacher or what?!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007):

i know how you feel i have liked my art teacher for five years but over the past 2 years i have started to talk to him more as we go his room at dinner and after school occasionnaly. i get butterflies wen i'm around him or he smiles at me and wen we talk i laugh at his jokes even if they're not funny..which is probably a big give away to him that i like him. i leave school next year and will be devastated cos i will really miss i'm bad enough wen he's not in or we're on schol holidays..i think i might need help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007):

I thought it was just me i have a teacher that i am madly in love with i get butterflies in my stomach whenever i see him he always looks at me and smiles and he is so sweet and funny i haven't told anyone this because im afraid they might laugh he is my gym teacher i always see him at break or lunch. i know how you feel !!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007):

hi

i am tottally in love with my teacher but i don't even have him for any of my classes and i don't talk to him but we always glance at each other when we walked past each other in the hall way and i think he might know i have a crush on him help what do i do and how can i get his attention

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007):

Hi,uhmm I am 14 years old and I am MADLY in love with my teacher. I am getting ready to go into freshman year and my teacher was my 7th grade social studies teacher! It has been almost 2 years since i started liking him. I cant stop thinking about him. My parents dont know about it and i am always forgetting to do stuff because he is on my mind. So, now my parents want to take me to the doctor because they think i have A.D.D. Oh by the way he is 36. he is married with 4 kids. I know that i will NEVER in a million years have a chance with him but i cant get him off my mind. he is the one and only guy i think about non stop. Sometimes at night i cry myself to sleep because of him. When i see him i cant explain the way i feel. My friends have told me that i am totally out of it. they say i just stare at him. He is a really good athlete too. All of my friends call him a perv. I agree. But I still cant help myself. He is perfect. He is not the most attractive man in the world either. He is alomst bald (hair on the sides and some one the top) he is tall and very very very muscular! he is the nicest person i have ever met in my life. I am sorry this is so long its just that talking about him makes me feel so good. Everyday on the way to volleyball I pass his house on my bike. I am always hoping to see him outside and when he isnt outside i am devistated. i am pretty much obsessed with him. I know his full name, age, wifes name, address, phone number, etc.... this list could go on for days. i dream about him every single night. i always fall asleep thinking about him. when i think about him i always think of conversations we had or things i wish would happen between us. i dont know. he is just simply amazing!!!! Please somebody help me. tell me if this is love or just a dangerous crush!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007):

OMG it feels so god to know that there are sooo many people that feel the same way that you do!

i am 16 years old and my teacher is 26 and i am crazy about him and i know that nothing will ever happen and it annoys me soooooo much. i know that i am not in love with him but i do feel alot for him. i see him every single day he is my music teacher and my guitar teacher. everytime he looks at me i blush. sometimes he asks me to stay behind and everytime i hope that he will tell me that he feels the same way i feel about him. i imagine myself kissing him etc i really really like him and i dunn know what to do about it but i guess that there is nothing that i can do really. and i know that there is nothing wrong about the way i feel but as long as i know that i am in the real world.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007):

im so happy that ive found people who feel the same way as me!

I love him!

everytime i see him, i feel really funny and forget what im talking about! I know everything about him and he's always there for me and i love that!hes my biggest crush ever and i will never forget him, i love thinking about him! i am the only person who seems to like him, i can see his ugly side, but, hes the most gorgious person iknow in my books!!!Does anyone elses friends try and make them jelous by any chance, mymates always seem to say stuff like,"hey i was talking to him" and stuffto make me feel like they"know" him more, wakers!!!

thank you lot for helping me!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007):

Well, i guess your case is just a crush. Coincidentally, i'm in the same situation and same age with you. I understand how you're feeling cos' that's also how i'm feeling. I think we're all not ready for love at this age. Because we lack of life experiences, the proof is you couldn't control yourself whenever you're with him. The best thing you can do now is to stay calm being with him and not to make this too serious or go any further and keep crushing him away if it makes you feel good. We have such a long life to live so why do we have to keep our eyes on only one objection that has only ten per cent of success.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007):

Hello all! I'm Kate. and I'm eighteen years old. I also love "my" teacher...He's fourty one years old..This sick feeling least already for two jears...This is obsession...I can't live without him(so how prodigy I'm still hee???????) I can't stop loving him...I never thought somebody so serious like him!! I tried forget him, but I can't.I know, it's so hard. Somethimes I wake up and crying at night. I always seek contact with him, but he won't it( i see it!) I never conversation with him. He's very frendly, but he escape me...I know, that I must absolve....I dream that I'm in him home, he kiss me and touch....next.....I often dream he lead me on the altar of our wedding day....I can't stop thinking about it!!!!!!!! I get a fever. I think I'm crazy full! I implore og God of him love every night! Please for our help.can we help me forget him??? i'm waiting for your letters Consolation and Reassurance. my gg is 4677476.thank you be

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007):

oh my god.

all of us people, are in the same boat.

we all love our trachers!

i know how you all feel. im in love with my science teacher. im 16 & he's 28.

i know loads about him. i follow him to registraition everyday...i try 2 answer all the questions in class.

he knows how i feel as everyone at school knows & they havnt failed to mention it to him!!!

i havnt actually told him how i feel but i am planning to as i am leavin school in the next couple of months.

i dnt no how i will cope & carry on after i have left!!

i cry myself to sleep most nights knowing that i cant be with him. he is sjust soooo special to me & i feel like i cant live without him!!!!!!!

every1 tells me 2 get a life & forget him BUT I CANT! its quite an obsession now!

...the thing is the teacher involed is confusing me even more...you see, in class he picks me 2 answer all the questions, when he thinks im not looking he sits there staring at me, he stands at the front of the class & tells me 2 do the demonstrations with him, he comes over & asks how i am for no reason & explains things 2 me just so he can talk 2 me. is this normal? no other teacher is like this?

im happy that he is doing this but wish he would tell me how he feels!!!!!!!!

good luck & i think you should tell your teacher as i am going to very soon! ill write here again 2 tell you the outcome!!

much love L XXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, Keria United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2007):

I know this is an old question, but it looks like it gets read and re-answered fairly frequently.

So, if you are reading this, and wondering if the feeling you have is love, well, it's not. Love is not a feeling. If you experience that wonderful feeling of strong attraction to a person, whether it the way they look, smell, think or talk, this is the very enjoyable feeling better known as infatuation -- aka: crush. True love is a decision you make, and has nothing to do with wanting someone to belong to you. Love is the direct opposite of possession. You cannot OWN someone you love. We all seem to know that, but then turn around and act as though we own the person. We become selfish and want the person to be around us constantly, and to achieve goals in life that are compatible with what we want. It's all about me me me me. Or sometimes, it's the other way around, and we sacrifice everything for that person and treat them like a god, and we are unworthy, useless in ourselves. Both of these stem from insecurity and a false view of love. True love is much more higher and more noble than this. True love makes no demands on another, and will not allow another to make demands on them.

An incorrect understanding of love leads many to loneliness, misery and destructive marriages. Romantisism and infatuation have their place. We all love getting that heady, tingly drunken feeling that this brings. Just don't confuse it with love!

So, in summary, Love is not a feeling, but in can be accompanied by great feeling. Sex is not love, love is not sex, and do not have to go together. Infatuation (including non-sexual) is not love.

I hope this helps somebody out there somewhere who will find themselves reading this someday.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007):

I'm having a minor crush on one of my teachers right now...yeah, it's the maturity and the caring factor that does it for me. And the fact that I really like his english- writing and speaking.

But I think he might find me weird. Haha. _

If you're experiencing a 'long term crush', there's a possibility that it could be 'Limerence'.

^^;

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007):

ahh yeah. I'm 15 and my art teacher's 28 or something. he's just...AHH gorgeous and funny, totally cute and friendly. I dunno, maybe pursue him after graduating..? i'm thinkin of doing that when I grad, or at least ask for an email to keep in touch(and say you asked from all your fave teachers for their emails, which indicates to him that you think he's a good teacher and its not totally suspicious you're just asking for his email)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007):

wow...I'm really glad that a lot of people have similar feelings that i do towards my teacher. there are days i tell myself that i really shouldn't try and act upon my feelings for him but when he is in my presence i just lose myself. he is a younger teacher, younger than 30 i presume. so that makes him all the more amiable...not to mention the fact that he is intelligent,powerful, dorky in a good way..and he has the most beautiful eyes ever. today we talked about student-teacher relationships and how he'd rather be safe than sorry about it i guess. i think he sort of suspects that i might have a crush on him...but when he talks to me sometimes...there's just that feeling there..ahh.i'm really confused about my situation. i'm not one to give up easily on a crush..knowing myself i will probably try and act upon my feelings even though it's "wrong" i guess...according to laws today....which by the way are BS. *sigh* i'll just wait and see what happens.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007):

I completely undersand - I'm 14 and have the biggest ever crush on my 33 year old teacher.

He's the nicest person to me, but isn't the most attractive according to my friends.

Everyone knows about my feelings, and some "friends" tell me to "get over myself" and that "nothing will ever happen."

I am aware of this - I don't want it to go anywhere.

Everyone talks about how pervy he is, and yeah, I agree that he is. Particularaly to me.

But he's too sensible to take it further.

And so am I.

Just enjoy your time with him, my teacher is leaving in July to go and do air shows, which i find quite cool.

But I'll miss him.

I know I'm speaking lightly of this, but he's never off my mind.

He's the last thing I think about before I go to sleep at night, and the first thing in the morning.

I hate Tuesdays 'cause we don't have Maths. (It's quite convinient actually seeing as I hate maths as a subject.)

..And whenever I see him I jump around. My friends are sick of me obsessing over him, but I just can't help it.

The comment above was very helpfull - thanks.

Well, I find his personality attractive probably.

And the way he talks to me..

And, what else?

His eyes! He never stops making eye contact with me.

What does he do? Hmm..

He scratches a lot! But I'm not sure that really sets me off. Haha.

He's bald, but shaves part of his head. Why I find him attractive I do not know, SO not my type.

Umm.. I like it when he has a bit of facial hair. I dunno why, I guess it's masculinity.

Uhm. What else? His voice. It's deep and sexy.

His gaze, the way he stares in to my eyes.

When I was crying he put his arm around me. Is it OK to do that? Afterall, I was crying.

That's not bad is it?

I wouldn't want him to get into trouble 'cause of me.

I don't know why, I'm just generally not interested in boys my own age, I like men instead. This has prooved to be a big problem.

Help??

Thanks. Sorry about it being long.

Just like to get things off my chest.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007):

im here reading these and thinking ha just like me. i'm 14...the biggest crush on my geography teacher although knowing nothing could happen cos that would b weird. he's absolutely amazing and im constantly thinking about him...probably the same for you?

i've liked him for about a month...sooo....not too long yet. and i'm crazy about him..all my friends should know. although i did give him a couple of chocolates..anonymously...for valentines day i have taken post of not telling him cos i wouldnt b able to face him again...so yes

no problem with it! its fine. nothing wrong.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007):

I understand exactly what you're talking about! I don't see anything wrong in having a crush on a teacher - forgetting he is actually your teacher, he's just another member of the opposite sex that you have feelings for - forgetting age difference. Who cares? I'm in the exact same situation right now. But he's not my mentor - lucky you! It's very hard not to get attached to those figures in your life who you see so often and are usually so nice t you. You been through bad times or anything? 'Cos that's what happened with me and he actually showed interest is whether I was okay or not - which made me fall for him so badly.

It's lovely seeing him and it's made me alot happier these last 6 months or so - I'd carry on with your crush, 'cos there really is nothing wrong with it - it's just called 'wrong' if you actually do something about it - whether it's trying something with him (kissing, touching, etc.). I'm not sure about telling him... Maybe not!

My teacher is much much much older than myself and I understand that.

I won't end with "Go for it" or anything - cos I do believe that's a little inappropriate haha. I'll say that it's a crush - but if you do get stronger feelings.. Hmm.. I'm not sure. See how it goes!

Long - apoligies. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007):

i know what you mean i have had this crush on my english teacher for almost a year now. she knows i like her but i don't think she has any idea how i really feel. she used to teach me and that's when i started to like her. now my friends know but i don't feel that they really understand how i feel. i see her almost every day but she just blanks me and acts like i don't exist. i feel butterflies every time i see her and just want to tell her that i love her. i feel so sad every time i see her because it is such a huge reality check and reminds me that she will never like me how i like her. i want to ask her all these questions about how she feels about me, how she has felt about me, and how can i get to know her better. i'm not sure exactly how old she is between 25-28 i fink. by the way im 15.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007):

Heyy ive had a crush on a philosophy and ethics teacher for a yr or so....i still dont know if he knows my name...anyway he's so cool and whenever we see each other we smile and make faces at each other and have jokes between us!! It's healthy people!!! It's healthy to have any sort of crush! So 'don't sweat the small stuff' and get on with it! (Just make sure you DO NOT go over the top and tell him! The copncequences will land on both of u!!) Just take it easy and keep cool! gd luk .x.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007):

OMG..dont worry...I was and still am in love with my economics teacher...I am 18 almosy 19 and he is 27...I just got so close to him and he helped me with any problem I was having..He took so much of his time to help me with school related work and even private matters...He was so sweet and caring and he just cared so much for all his students...I graduated last year and I miss him dearly...He is all I have ever wanted in a man..He is smart, cute, nice smile, great personality, dresses very fine(shirt and tie), related economic and govt to outside things to make it fun, was in a band, loves rock music, and he was so respectful of women...I just want to have him again and again....I will always love him and have feelings for him...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007):

I am also having the same experience.I have been liking this 28 year old teacher ever since i was 15 year old but and now i am 18 and i still feel the same.I still can't get him out of my mind.At first, back then i thought it was just a silly crush experience but i don't think it is anymore since it has already have been 3 years and i still feel the same. But to be exact in your situation i know exactly how you feel...it's the type of situation when even you yourself can't really answer the question if it's "Just a crush" because it might be or it might not.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007):

Unrequited love sucks, it has to be said. I'm in love with my teacher. She's 27/28, she won't actually tell us her age [never trust a woman who tells you her age]. She's so beautiful. And just wonderful and amazing. Just seeing a glimpse of her makes my day. Just because then, I know that she's there.

She's more than a teacher though, I've been going through a lot at home, and she's now my confidant. She's not married, she doesn't have kids, we suspect she's a lesbian. She knows I'm bi [I had a good reason for telling her, it fitted in with the context of the conversation, I don't tell people for no reason].

Obviously, I know that nothing can ever happen [whilst I still attend that school], it would jeopradise both of our positions, but I'm hopefully leaving for a different sixthform next year, and I'm thinking of asking her if we can stay in contact. Not just because of my feelings, even before we got on well and she's the type of person I would be friends with.

We have a rather weird relationship, unspoken understanding. We just take each day as it comes, no grudges or conversations mentioned the next day. Everyday is a new day. I'll just have to see what happens.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007):

This is a lot like my situation. I'm 14 and completely under my geography teachers spell. He is funny, kind, good-looking all round brilliant man. When he looks at me I feel my heart flutter. But he is married with three young kids, and when I saw a a little "worlds best daddy" thing made by his kids, it kind of killed me inside. I actually felt bad for liking him.

I know nothing will ever happen, but it's just something to have. I will get over it and you will to. But do not let your feelings known to him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007):

I know how you feel. I feel that way too. I didn't know some many people did. Hopefully it's just a crush.

He is 37, and I'm 15. He was my history teacher for the first half year, but then he got another class.

He went to highschool with my aunt!

I don't know how it started, but suddenly I just stood there thinking, "I love him".

I said to myself: You can not love your teacher! How is that possible?! It's just something you imagine! You just look up to him. It's just because you love the subject (I didn't, untill I got him)! I tried to deny it, but I just couldn't help it!

He is so funny (he has this kind of humour, that always makes me laugh, and then everyone just look at me, like...), cute, clever and when he smiles, I can't help, but smile too! My heart always skips a beat when I see him.

When I heard, that he had to teach another class, I was heartbroken. I cried and cried, and I still do. He was the only thing that kept me going. I always looked forward to see him. It's hard for me to continue now.

Every day I try to find him at school and talk to him. I always make it look like a covincidence. Just having seen him, makes my day so much better.

He has no idea of how I feel. He lives with the woman he loves, and has a daugther.. she is 4 years old.

Although he doesn't know how I feel, I hope he sees me as something special. Because that's the way I see him.

I'm never going to tell him how I feel, and I can't tell my friends about it.

In a way, although I cry almost every night because of him, I am so thankful for having met him. He is my inspiration for everything I do. I do love him. And now I just wish for his happiness.

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A female reader, s.j United Kingdom +, writes (25 January 2007):

i know how you feel its been 3 years for me now, it controls my life completley and i dont even speak to him, its strange as her lives near to me grew up near me and i find things out about him by chance its very weird. i remember the day i found out his mother died i cried for him , the day when it was the end of his first skl year and he wlked away knowing i wouldnt see him for 7 weeks, that was the hardest moment of my life i actaully felt my heart sink and break, i couldnt breathe and ppl had to be around me so they could calm me down, i have contemplted suicide as on some days i cannot overcome my fear of the day i leave skool later this year, i worry about how i am going to cope and still three yrs on i get butterflies and this total overwhelming feeling of love and lust when i see him which is around 10 times a day, i dont no why this has happned to me but i try to think of it as a blessing as now i no there is nothing i cannot overcome, i feel stronger and better equipped in life as i no wat i want from relationships from this age. i fell in love at 13 it has been the worst yet the best thing that ever happenend to me. i am scared about how i will cope but remember the the strenth and the blessings he has given to me i have accepted i will always love him but hopefully i wont alwyas be in love with him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

i really know how you're all feeling! i am totally in love with my business studies teacher. i'm 15, he's about 24. he's sweet, funny, cute, clever and the kindest guy in the world! i just want to be with him 24/7! i wish i could help you but i don't even have answers for myself.xx. i think someone really needs to come onto this page (someone whos not actually dying with feelings for their teacher themselves!) and save us before we all explode. well me anyway, you're probably all completely normal, lol! i don't know what to do, i feel like i'll never be happy without him but its wrong to feel that coz he's my teacher. HELP!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006):

I'm sorry to add to this reopened thread, but I have to say, wow... I can imagine hentai... [laughs] 8]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006):

am madly in love with my music teacher he drives me nuts am 14 and he alot older i now him relly well as i have to spend alot of time with him to do extra music activitys but the skool know about my little scret and told him now hes can sometimesa act relly acwared around me but i love him and know that i cant live with out him he married with tow kids 3 and 5 i have relly bad deprestion about all this and he supports me becouse he knows why but it dosent help any all my m8s are goin mad becouse he is all i talk about i think of him 24/7 but i need to get out of this befor its to l8 (i have a felling that iam going to kiss him at xmas) i sometimes feel as if he likes me n is worred that he will get into troble hes always putting his hand on my sholder n stuff n laugh at my jokes n staring at me i love it and just whant to hold him in my arms 4 ever i wish he was mine

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006):

I'm sure it isn't love. I am in the same situation with my Economics teacher except he is 28. I am always waiting for him to look at me and lose my breath when i see him...i just don't know what to do. Maybe next year after i graduate something will happen...but for now, it's just too risky. ANYONE KNOW WHATI SHOULD DO?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006):

I am also in love with my teacher. I have been for almost two years now. We've always gotten along so well. He's just such a nice, caring man. He's always been there for me.. whether I was having personal or academic problems.

I'm almost 18, he's 24. So the age gap isn't too significant but he's still my teacher and student/teacher romantic relationships are basically condemned by society. It's sad, but it's a fact of life.

Maybe when I graduate something will happen. Who knows?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2006):

Wow, i cant believe there are other people like me out there with the same situation. I am infatuated with my english teacher and I cant help feeling this way. Every time he looks and smiles at me I melt and I have to look down. I am really shy but I try to get closer to him by asking questions after class even though I already know the answers. Its torture though to have these "reality checks" once in a while because he is after all, married.I just wish I could be with him.

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A female reader, EDoug +, writes (19 October 2006):

Ahh I feel your pain! I'm 16 and I feel like I'm in lovee with one of my teachers (35...married..has a baby...haha not looking too good for me :]) I think it's because he's mature, caring, funny and just all-around amazing (which is near impossible to find in guys my own age). I know he won't reciprocate these feelings though... but I still have them. It's pretty frustrating. Good luck... it's probably somewhere between a crush and love, because crush sounds too minor but love is probably too extreme.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006):

well this sounds a lot like me really. im 15 and im in love with my electronics teacher, theres not one minuite that i dont think about him. he is constantly running through my mind. but the thing is, he's married with two kids [which kills me] he also knows i "fancy" him but he has no idea how much. he's amazing, he is so funny, nice, confident, everything a girl could ask for in a man. im the same, i get butterflies and go week at the knees as soon as i see him, so yeah i deffonately think its love for you as it is for me. hope this helps :] x.x.x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006):

Okay, since nobody is going to look at this (well I'm pretty sure), then I'm going to pour my heart out. I've had the exact same problem for about 2 years now. I first met him in the 8th grade, and at first he was no big deal, just another face in the throng. But over the course of the year I started to become gradully more and more obsessed with him. And he didn't help. The first paper we had ever had to write in his class was a...darn it I can't remember what it's called, but it's where you have to convence someone else of your point of view on a certain subject. Anways, I had written this paper on why we shouldn't have to where ID tags at school. Well, he had told me he wanted to talk to me after class, well I couldn't talk to him after class, so on my way out to go to violin orchestra class (also called sectionals), he told me that he LOVED my paper. I had gotten really excited at the fact that the man I liked, appreciated something I wrote. Well, the day that we actually started to talk to eachother, like a human being would talk to another human being, not like a teacher would to a student. Was the day I told him I had a sister. I had told him she had gone to the middle schools he has taught at and then it almost seemed as if he were obsessed with my life. I also told him that my sister worked at a food restaurant called Fazoli's, he told me he ate there every Wednesday night...then...it began. He always talked to my sister when she was working, even though he had no idea who she was rather than the fact that she was my sister. I found him very strange...and yet so interesting. He had become my inspiration for many things, the main was writing. But at the time all of this was going on (my entire 8th grade year) his wife was pregnant. But it seemed that afterwards, when I went to go back to see him for the first time since his wife had the baby, he was different, he was more of a...dad than a crazy man who I was absolutely in love with. And, it scared me, I wanted that crazy man back. I didn't want a father, I already had one. I wanted a man, a mysterious man, with a curious eye (if you know what I mean *wink wink*). Well, I can sort of see him there hidding behind the dad that's there now (on account of our last encounter). I've been through a lot with him, even though that's probably a little out of contexts, it's true. We've been through the same things is what I mean. That year was a tough one, and we'll never speak of it again. But the thoughts of it run through my mind everyday.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2006):

i have the biggest crush on my teacher ever!!!i am 15 and he is 23.everytime that i am arround him i feel like no one in the world exits and my my heart skips beats whe i think about him and i loose my breath.and i can never stop starring at him.i can never stop thinking about him.i am even failing school on purpous so that he will contuine to turter me.

what should i do i love him so much and i can not picture my life with out him.there is not 1 thing that i dis like about him.he is sooooo sexi.and i love him so much.what should i do?????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2006):

hey dont worry, i am in a very similar situation. im 14 and i am in love with my german teacher who is 44 and married. i stay behind after school every thursday because he asked me to sing in a band with him so i get to talk to him alot, which just makes me want him even more. i wish i could spend the rest of my life with him but i dont want to get him sacked by having a sexual relationship with him...altthough i know that would be bliss. i really want to know whether he has feelings for me or not. he encourages me to stay behind every week and he tells me absolutely everything. when another class has made him in a bad mood he talks to me about it and then he is so happy, just smiling constantly. also, he compliments me alot with my singing and he says that i send shivers down his spine. also he winks at me alot...does this mean he likes me too??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2006):

i don't know. I'm the same way. people say that i am not in love with him but i feel that i am.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2006):

i know exactly how ur feeling. Im in love with a history teacher at my school, i catch him looking at me sometimes and i think he knows i like him coz he gets a little embarassed when im near him and the other day when i walked past him he went red. i know it's love and then last week i found out that he was leavin at the end of the school year, i wanted to scream and cry but i've kept it all in until now! I'm afraid that he's leaving because of me and i want to tell him how i feel before he goes but i'm very shy. what shall i do?!?!

P.S. im 16 and he's about 28 but thats not all i was heart broken when i found out he was married and he had a child over christmas. I want him to have an amazing life but i want him to know how i feel, because i know i'll regret it later in life if i don't tell him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2006):

Omg I am just like that, I am 14 and my teacher is like 35!

he is soo sweet,funny,adorable..and I love him...Everytime I see him , I cant help but stare, I think and talk about him constantly I am afraid to tell anyone cause I am afraid of what they wud say, My mom thinks i do,but i cant really talk to her about it!

I know hes way too old, but I dont want to forget about him cause i really do love him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006):

I know exactly how you feel! i get butterflies in my stomach and it's like extremely hard to concentrate in class. and when he calls on me i am like "Huh" then i feel like everyone can tell. but i know they don't. for now i believe that both of our teachers are just our crushes. besides if you think about it you really don't know your teacher,atleast close enough to love him!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2005):

I know how you feel! Everyone thinks it is love but if you really know him/her and you can't live without them then it is love if not maybe a crush.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2005):

hi i am in love with my teacher in my university we both adults i dont now what to do ?

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A female reader, wenduki +, writes (17 November 2005):

HEy, yeah, well I've been through it too, and I still am. Look, it's not a bad thing if you're in love, and yes ur in love, a crush is really a minor liking, so good luk!

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (8 October 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntIt's a crush. Definitely. Everything that you describe is common to thousands of generations of girls your age, and there won't be one single girl in your Year at school who hasn't had a similar crush on someone. (Speaking personally, back in the time of the dinosaurs, I had a crush exactly like you describe on a 33-year-old, balding, bespectacled teacher's aide, who allowed us girls to call him by his first name: Morris. Sighhhh.)

But don't despair, because one of the best aspects of crushes is that they go away as quickly and inexplicably as they arrive. You'll find out that he wears sock-suspenders, or plays trumpet in the local marching band, or dresses up like Boy George every Hallowe'en... or some other daggy fact about him and pfffft! Suddenly you'll think he's about as sexy as your own dad.

If you want to lose this crush even more quickly, so that you can go back to being attracted to boys who are actually available, try to remind yourself that this man is very likely married (he may already have kids), or that he probably has a serious girlfriend -- who is NOT a student. Male teachers often become the focus of crushes -- simply because they're caring adult men, whom you see every day -- but ethical teachers never, ever, EVER become involved with students. Any teacher that returned your attention in a sexual way should likely be reported.

Remind yourself that, no matter what, you can't have a relationship with this teacher because he'll lose his job and could even land in jail for it. Then resolve to turn your attentions to boys who are single and closer to your own age.

You can enjoy the sensation of the crush that you have on him, and even pick it apart to gain an insight into what makes you tick. Why do you find him attractive? What does he do that really sets you off? When do you find him less attractive? Find answers to these questions and you're finding out what you want in your own, future relationships.

There's nothing "bad" or weird about having these feelings about a teacher. It's extremely common. Just be realistic and recognise that it isn't going to go anywhere and you'll be fine.

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