A
male
age
36-40,
*urvy
writes:My girlfriend told me she wanted to take things slow and I wanted a few opinions from other women on what that means. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two months and we haven't done anything sexually intimate other than kissing and making out. She got out of a relationship with a guy for almost 4 years (long distant relationship) and they never met in person though. She also had a relationship with another boyfriend for 7 months, but the farthest he got with her from what she told me is oral. I was wondering what does she mean by taking things slow? Do you think I am wasting my time? I love her so much and I want to show her how much I love her, but it feels like I have to hold back on alot of things and it upsets me.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 September 2009):
 Well, that can mean simply not being pushy about sex in general, or perhaps, not being too aggressive about sex once that it is taking place. In other words, most women are quite willing, but do not appreciate a rough encounter.
The other scenario is that she wants you to take her out numerous times, or at least devote more time in the relationship, before she offers her pleasures.
A
female
reader, Shimakasai +, writes (9 September 2009):
Slow means not just jumping into things. Let's skip back to kisses and making out for an example I can explain well. If you just started dating and you kiss a girl and jump into making out, that's taking things really fast. Now, if you wait until you're both ready and many weeks pass and you kiss and then more time passes and you ease into making out and then you gradually work up to sex, that's taking things slow. If you love her, you'll hold back your personal urges and wait for her to feel ready. For now, just show her she's special and means a lot to you. Don't push yourself on her unless she wants you to. Then, there should come a time when she feels ready and she should either tell you or try to initiate sex. You managed to wait your childhood for sex, and possibly many years of teenagehood and parts of adulthood. You should be able to wait as long as it takes if she really means something to you.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (9 September 2009):
 That means she wants to see who you are really, and wants to see what kind of character you have. If she's convinced you're the right guy, she's probably going to tell you that she wants your body.
But she's the one in control of that issue, and so if you don't have the patience to wait, she's going to jump the gun and spook out on you.
If she's worth the wait, and you value her that much (as in you love her), then you can wait a bit longer.
Women who make you wait fall into 2 categories. The ones that want to control your sexuality, or the ones that will basically demand sex out of you every night, once they're convinced you're the one. Seriously.
Just try and get to know each other and spend serious time together doing things that you enjoy. The sex part will come about later if the relationship's right. If it isn't then she won't feel used.
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