A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend only two months. He seems perfect, kind, thoughtful, he takes me out and actually listens.Recently I have found myself not wanting sex with him and getting angry at everything he does or says. We see each other pretty much evey night and the nights we dont I dont miss him at all, yet he texts and rings me a lot telling me he misses me.He also showing signs of being a little insecure and jealous.Hes the model boyfriend so why do I feel like this??? I am going through a stressful time right now with all my third year uni work due in less then a month, I'm not sure if it is that or if I am just going off him....
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Too much, too soon. Chill out and take some space. Stop seeing each other so often and give yourself a chance to miss being with him. If he can't or won't give you this space or if he starts freaking out about it then this relationship just may not be workable.
You're both smothering each other, take a step back and take a breather.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 You have only been together for two months therefore I think that you both have just rushed in to things to fast and things have gotten intense really quickly. I think the best thing that you can do is to give each other some space. Tell him that you are quite stressed at the moment and that you need some space. Maybe cut down seeing each other to once or twice a week and ask him to keep the calling and the texting to a minimum.
Do this for a while and see how you feel. You might get a clearer image of what you want if you give yourself some space and time to decide.
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (26 April 2011):
 I find this one hard to tell for sure one way or the other. What I can say is that probably you do feel a little crowded out by him and this maybe what is causing these feelings. With everything on your plate, he is becoming simply another stress and strain. This is resulting in you pushing him away because its too much for you right now. Given that I think it would be wrong to leap to conclusions about going off him entirely.
So, I think its a bit of both really, yes your core feelings are down to stress but they are making you go off him. This is a tricky situation. Ideally, what I would do is try and get some breathing space - I dont mean a 'break' necessarily because im overly convinced of the merits of those, especially in this situation - but I think you need to see him less, text when you want etc.
Of course, this is going to fan the flames of his insecurity and thats the double bind you find yourself in but I think there is a middle course here. I think you need to explain you have alot on with work and focus on that. You can try and reassure him but he will get insecure at the end of the day, but you have to remember there is only so far you can go in tackling that, its also something he has to do himself.
I'd be a bit weary of your feelings on this one, your stress is clouding the issue and making a decision in haste you can later regret at leisure would lead to hurt for you both. When your uni work is done then return to the issue, see him more and see if the feelings you first had do return. If they do then all good, if they dont then end it. Just dont move too quickly on this one. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (26 April 2011):
I would see him less for now. Seeing anyone everyday especially so early on .. Will get on your nerves. Plus you may feel resentful that you have SO much to do and can't get it done. And the limited time may be adding to your stress. What happens if you say you can't hang out? Does he get pouty or angry ? (you mentioned the early signs of possessiveness). Take it from me - that can become worse with time so I'd try to set boundaries now.
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A
female
reader, ihateseagulls +, writes (26 April 2011):
your probably just stressed.
ive been with my bf for a year, and i saw him every single day, i had to juggle college, and revision and work, and make time for him everyday. it stressed me out so much.
because i didn't feel i had enough time for any one thing.
my boyfriend also got controlling and it caused so many arguments.
he has moved now, so he's about a 40 min car ride away, now we don't see each other all the time, we actually appreciate the time we have :).
sometimes seeing someone constantly even if you really love them , while your stressed can do more harm than help.
hope this helps :)
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