A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was happily married with two kids when my husband got mixed up in drugs. Around this time he also began seeing a guy he worked with and going to gay clubs.We divorced and he spent the next eight years with a guy he picked up in a gay club. Recently he moved back to town and is living with me and our two boys (16 and 19). We do not have sex at all (he is on pain killers which kill his erections). He claims to love me - states he always has. I on the other hand suffer from major indecision - he states he's not gay now. We argue over his relationships with my 19 year old son's friends. He has their phone numbers in hisphone and received text messages and calls from these "boys" all the time. When I have tried to explain I am not comfortable with this behavior (he is 39) he becomes furious and calls me a f****ng nut-Am I crazy?s
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): you are not crazy.
he is still gay.
why is he now living with you?
why don't you get rid of him once and for all. he cannot suddenly become ungay. and yes, he will try it with your sons friends.
by you still having him around he is giving you false hope that you two can still be together. you are doing youself no favours by still staying with him.
A
male
reader, pauly12345  +, writes (4 October 2009):
No you are not crazy.
I think he's very mixed up to be honest and I doubt he's turned straight.
Sounds like he is in denial at best and playing a different game at worse.
It sounds like you still love him, or at least what you want him to be and it may be time for you to move on. It depends what is best for you and the kids.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): First of all, let me tell you that you are not crazy. What you are dealing with is crazy. I'm not trying to judge you, but what I have to say is going to be kind of insensitive. You should have never let him move back in with you and you and your sons. I don't know your husband, but the type of behavior that he has and is exhibiting is probably worse than that of your teen aged sons. They don't need to see that type of behavior. I wouldn't keep him away from his children, but if this was a matter of he didn't have any where to stay, I would have directed him to the nearest men's shelter. Better yet, why couldn't he stay with family? As far as the gay thing, he is gay, always have been, and always will. You don't turn your sexuality on and off like a faucet. Now that is just crazy! This man clearly needs professional help. You and your children need peace and stability, which I'm quite sure you had that before he decided to drag his way back into your lives. As as far as having sex: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD LET THIS MAN TOUCH ME SEXUALLY! I know that you didn't say that you were interested, but just to put this out there, you don't know what this man was doing or doing it with in order to support his drug habit. I know that this is your children's father, but get this man the hell out of your house!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): Hi, I just wanted to say that you are not going crazy. Your husband/father of your children sounds very messed up and I personally would suggest that you find your way without him.
I think that I would wonder about his contact with these younger men as well given his history. You deserve so much better than that and I hope that you find your way towards happiness; it does not sound at all as though you will find it with him.
You are destined to unhappiness with a man like this. Please make some good choices and kick his ass to the curb.
You are not crazy. This man's character is totally questionable for very valid reasons. He appears to have issues that only a counsellor could begin to help him with.
He is going to hold you back from your dreams in life. Let him go.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 October 2009):
Your husband is calling you a f*****g nut after what he has put you through? How dare he! No, you're not going crazy. You need to get rid of him. I think it's more likely he came back to you because he thought you were a safe bet. He's not worthy of you, so get rid of him and find a decent guy who wants you.
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