A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiancee, who I love very deeply, cheated on me and then dumped me two months ago, on the day of my birthday and a couple of days before our fifth anniversary. I had to spend Christmas, the lunar eclipse, and New Year alone, while she was partying with her new guy. Talk about bad timing.For the next few weeks, I was sick, numb, weak and devoid of energy, but I wasn't very emotional.Now I feel the pain. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. Just about any thought of her brings tears to my eyes: her lies, her last words, the broken promises, the pictures of her new guy kissing her.Time was supposed to heal all wounds, but it's only making things worse!I'm currently doing the kind of things people are supposed to do to recover from post-breakup depression: getting out, focusing on my job, doing things with my friends, engaging in creative projects.The creative stuff helps, but strangely, the social activities make me feel awful!- Am I going backwards in the recovery process, or is this normal?- How can I stop feeling so depressed during social activities?
View related questions:
anniversary, cheated on me, christmas, depressed, fiance, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Echo the below information. Personally had a similar episode when I was around your age, I was totally devoted to the woman until she ended it.
It took a long time to get over the hurt, I hadn't been with her as long as you were with your's though, I'd give myself a year if I was in your shoes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you people. It's sad to know that I have no way to escape these feelings, but that was to be expected.
Jmtmj: Lol, I'm nowhere near acceptance. :p But thanks a lot for the empathy. It's not the first time I go through something painful and I agree that I'll probably come out stronger, but that usually means colder too.
Anon: She was a big loss to me despite her betrayal, and I really don't want to think about risking my heart again. But thanks for the good wishes.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): It does get better my friend, continue to focus on your own life, work out get all that anxiety out, you're going to social situations and you're probably giving off negative vibes, even if you may not realize you are doing it. Allow yourself time to grieve by all means but you only got one life to live, why waste it moping around using up precious time, you can't change the past only what happens to you in the future. Move on and be strong, love will come again, how much sweeter will it be with someone who will put as much dedication as love as you put in, this girl wasn't trustworthy its better this way, its no loss to you. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): First of all, sorry to hear that things ended like that.
It's only been two months since she left, which isn't very long considering how long you were together and how much you loved her.
There is no prescribed length of time for getting over having your heart broken. You just have to do the best you can, keep yourself busy (so that you have less time to think about her) and let the grief pass.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 The 5 stages of grief in order are:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
You may teeter back and forth between these stages, but that's normal. I feel for ya mate, I really do, its the worst feeling in the world, but you WILL heal and you WILL come out a stronger person because of this.
Given the circumstances and how long you dated, I'd be a bit worried if you weren't still a bit depressed, whether in a social setting or otherwise. You just have to keep keeping yourself busy and staying sociable... it may seem a bit forced, a bit empty, a bit pointless and nowhere near as fun as it should be, but it'll help speed up the whole healing process.
Chin up and good-luck aye.
...............................
|
