A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I split up with my partner of 18 years this year as we had a shambolic relationship, i was totally neglected and just felt used by him. Since I got a new lease of life, i lost 4 stone in weight and made a lot of new friends. Unfortunately i have this bad habit of sleeping with men that are paying attention to me, i am flattered by the attention, but i have met on e man who i just cant get him out of my head and he just plays it cool with me we have been seeing each other on and off for ages nows and we both agreed at the time it was just friends with benefits situation. Until now as we have shared a lot more time together and his friends and family all just assume now were are a couple which doesnt bother me but he seems to want to stay the way we are. Am I getting used again and if so how can I stop myself feeling this way about him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): Once you agree to that type of arrangement, then the chances of gaining his (or any mans) respect is near impossible.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): You can tell him you are getting feelings for him. If he backs off you can either carry on the FWB situation or end things with him. You can not stop yourself being hurt though. But if you sense you have fallen for him but he does not feel that way about you, then it might be best to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): The whole FWB is to NOT be seen as a couple. To not parade around family members and friends as a couple.
So he is bluring the boundaries. It would be confusing.
However, he said FWB so don't let his actions fool you.
IF it bothers you that much, just ask him, we are still FWB right?
Face the facts about FWB. You don't spend loads of time together. Its a hook up with maybe a coffee here and there. Friendly but mainly about sex. NOTHING ELSE.
I think he is using you as emotionally, physically so he is not lonely around this time of year.
Time to BREAK IT OFF. Most FWB should terminate when it over steps the boundaries.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Yes you are getting used again. When you agree to be a friend with benefits well then you are agreeing to be used. You have lost a lot of weight now and you feel attractive and wanted by men. But you are going out and having sex with them for attention, but that is not going to lead to anything serious, because men will lose respect for a woman who gives them sex on a plate.
I think you need to finish the current friends with benefits relationship and look for bigger and better things for yourself. Respect your body and then others will respect it as well. Don't just go and sleep around but take time in getting to know a man who shows interest in you and show him you are not easy. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Hiyaaaa,Friends with benefits is never good honey because it always develop into a actual relationship where you get feelings from that guy even though you're not suppose to because you guys made a deal... save it for the bedroom and nothing else.But that is the stereotype but surprising there is as lotta friendship involved and trust in a friends with benefits relationship but if you feel that you can't get him out of your head you gotta tell him straight up. Otherwise it's really gonna hurt you... and while you can don't avoid the situation because it's better to be hurt now than later on where things get really complicated like he might have a girlfriend but still want you as a friend with benefits.So honestly just tell him how you feel it doesn't matter if he doensn't feel the same because you done your bit but if he doesn't feel the same way just don't go down that route because I promise you things are gonna be complicated! You guys can still stay friends but nothing more!!Hope my advice helps!Lots of love,Ima FreAk!x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): Here we go again with the fwb question. FWB is just that. If you start off that way, then thats all you will ever be seen as. True relationships dont start as fwb.
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