A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:can somebody help me please? im a lad and i think im turning gay because my girlfriend doesnt turn me on. but my friend (boy)when i see him i want to rip his clothes of i am always having sexual dreams and thought about him can somebody give me advice please? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Gayness and straightness are fluid kinds of things. In fact, the whole idea of labelling people one way or another (or bi) might be one of the worst inventions of modern times.
I personally think it's possible to be physically attracted to the male sex without actually being able to love men. In other words, wanting to rip your mates' clothes off just means you have strong sexual urges, it doesn't necessarily mean you see men as objects of romantic love! If people regarded this kind of sexual interest as a normal part of the sexual spectrum, you might not have so many people mixed up as to whether they regard themselves as "gay" or not. Gayness is about LOVING men. It's not just getting a sexual thrill from parts of men's anatomies.
Also keep in mind, people change as they go through life. I believe it may have been Keynes (the economist) who was homosexual for many years but discovered women later in life. This has something to do with experience. Sexual desire for men's bodies is fairly straightforward, because a man's sexuality is flaunted outside the body. It's easy to fantasise, because you are focussed on something (the penis) that's pretty obvious! Although women have nice features like curves and breasts, it can take longer to discover the pleasures of the female body. A vagina's a wonderful thing, but it's not obvious like a penis. If you've never had a woman, it may be hard to imagine what could be so wonderful about it. However, once you discover the delights of a vagina, you may find yourself thinking less and less about things like penises. And by the way, a 15-year-old girl is not going to be able to teach you how wonderful sex is, because a 15-year-old girl doesn't really know much about it, even if she's had sex before. I think many women only gradually come alive sexually, starting in the late teens, and then they get better and better!
Anyway, I don't think you should worry. Don't label yourself, and take it as it comes. If men's bodies turn you on now, there's nothing unnatural about it. And there's nothing unnatural about changing later on.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): it is quite normal for teen boys to fantasy about each other and many even do some mutual masturbation with each other. research has proved that the majority of supposed straight guys have fantasied about guys or had at least one same-sex encounter in their lives. so it is very likely you are bisexual just now and may stay bi when you are mature or become mainly straight. most of us guys have been there and consider ourselves straight.but as the other aunties say you shouldnt realy be trying to define yourself with anything sexual terms just now because at the moment you are just a normal sexed-up teenager.
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A
female
reader, Bombshelley +, writes (17 May 2008):
 at such younge age, its natural to be confused about your sexuality,
im young, and im straight, however i catch myself all the time thinking of girls in that way.
it doesnt nessesarly mean your gay
either way, time well tell.
xxxx
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A
female
reader, tsurugi-ijin +, writes (17 May 2008):
 At this age every one experiments, most teenagers tend to class themselves as Bisexual in a struggle to name it.
The best thing to do with these feelings is ride with them but think before acting as all actions have concequences.
Don't over think it, this only leads to headaches and more confusion.
Please Write and Update,
All the Best, Jin
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (17 May 2008):
 Don't struggle to define yourself as straight or gay. You might be either one and at fifteen it's natural to be confused. Just be a person for a little while and try not to pigeonhole yourself as one or the other. It doesn't matter whether you're straight or gay and there's no rush to have all the answers right now.
Cat
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (17 May 2008):
 Yeah, maybe. A definite maybe.
More likely it's the strength of your growing sexuality, and that will settle with time.
It's a bit difficult to describe, but it happens to a lot of boys your age. The urge is so strong that your particular girlfriend isn't enough to satisfy it, so your mind tells you that you need something more powerful - and in this case the male friend happens to be "in the wrong place at the wrong time".
Look around at other girls and women - particularly at women, and particularly at those women who would be quite inappropriate for you to be with. I'm NOT suggesting you start chasing after them, but imagine yourself with them in a sexual situation. Any arousal? If so, you almost certainly have your answer: you're not gay. It will all settle. Just give it time.
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A
female
reader, all i need  +, writes (17 May 2008):
you might be. but your so at an age where you are trying to find yourself, so thats really soemthing your going to have to figure out on your own....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): This could just be something that is happening because of your hormones at this point in your life. But there's a chance that you could be gay.. Have you felt like this before or has it just started to happen?
Keep me posetd
xx Hope xx
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