A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl around 3 year ago and she's became my best friend since then.For the past year I cant help but think she's a lesbian or bisexual, but never mentioned it, as it doesnt bother me...well last night i found out she is in fact one, but i'm the only person she's told and she's actually kept this secret by herself for 10 years.I know after knowing deep down myself I feel a little weird about it and i don't know why. I've kissed many girls and i'm happy to do so, but she's never even kissed a girl. I have thought about having sex with a girl before and i'm wondering if maybe i'm attracted to her and want to try something? I don't know? but why am i all of a sudden a little like ''uncomfortable,'' if that's the right word.?I have a LRD boy friend but he's ok with me being with girls, he said i can...I don't know,..I can't think straight as there are many things on my mind right now and now this is too, but I just don't know if it's because i'm attracted to her, maybe? and now have an opportunity?What do you think?
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male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (12 April 2011):
 You're at an age where i think a lot of women get 'experimental'. Let's face it, you're curious about your sexuality. I think that's perfectly normal.I've known a lot of women who when they get to college have experimented with kissing and having sex with other girls. I think it's a way for you to figure out who you really are and what you really like in sex.My question would be: How serious is this relationship with your boyfriend? Do you see yourselves being together forever?If you're serious with him, i would avoid any relationship with the girl.. However, if things are a bit looser in the relationship.. I would definitely explain to your friend your curiosity and your feelings, and see where it goes from there....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): You're probably not bisexual yourself OP. I know lots of straight girls that will kiss other straight girls but when it comes to lesbian women they won't kiss them because that's more serious, a kiss means something to lesbian woman the same way it would with a man. Kissing another woman is probably a bit of fun for you, in fact most of the girls I know have either done it or do it regularly. One girl I know even goes further but never with an actual lesbian.
You see kissing a lesbian is different because that's their sexual preference, believe it or not that's a step too far for most girls to casually kiss because it's not casual.I think that's what is holding you back.
Plus OP kissing her would be cheating. Your boyfriend is okay with you kissing straight girls because it's a bit of fun and nothing will happen. But kissing a lesbian will have more meaning than that. A kiss isn't just a bit of fun in those circumstances it has emotional meaning and if not for you then it may have for the other girl. If you are attracted to her in that way then that's even more the case because it will have meaning for you too.
Kissing her has an emotional responsibility attached to it. If you kiss her casually but it has meaning for her then it could lead to greater feelings on her part, it could be an act of showing you her feelings and it is risky, it could change the nature of your friendship and it might never recover. The same way it would if you kissed a male friend casually and he had feelings for you.
You see there's a safety aspect to kissing other straight girls, you're not in their dating pool so there's no risk attached to that, hence it is casual fun. The same can't be said for kissing another guy or a lesbian.
OP a kiss with her represents a very real chance of hurting you, her and your boyfriend. It's almost guaranteed that one of you will get hurt and more than likely that both she and your boyfriend may suffer consequences from this.
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