A
female
age
30-35,
*ietcoke.1
writes:Hi Im 18 and a little over weight not like fat but a bit bigger and i have these friends that are so much prettier and skinnier than me. we all go out and they get all the attention even the guy i like likes one of them. I just dont know what to do its really getting me down.Am i going to be the one who is single my whole life whilst my friends have the pick of the bunch? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): wow your only 18 and your thinking that far.your nt fat what you need is confidence ok.start working out it will be healthier and stress relieving.set goals of what you want to anchieve.change your dress wear something that showes confidence
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (24 April 2011):
Some have already mentioned, but I'd like to support it by agreeing that your weight is not the problem. Different guys like all sorts of body shapes and there are tons out there who prefer a woman who is curvier and more voluptuous. Don't worry about how you look; its ALL in confidence.
I seriously mean that. If a girl approaches me somewhere, the first thing I usually notice is her confidence. Does she smile a lot? Does she like to laugh? Does she show good posture? Is she forward? Those things are attractive to me because it shows she is comfortable with who she is.
I'll be honest, nothing is more unattractive than someone who constantly nitpicks and complains about themselves. No one wants to be around someone like that. Its much easier to love someone who loves who they are.
(Warning: This does not mean be cocky. Just so you know)
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (24 April 2011):
 Your physical appearance isn't the issue, it's the lack of self-confidence. Many years ago, (actually many, many) when I was first going out, I was considered pretty, and the all important thin! And my best friend was not; she had terrible acne scaring, a large beak looking nose, a receding hairline, and wore loads of terrible make-up. But when we were out, I was virtually invisible, being shy and lacking in self-esteem; but my friend, wow, she came into her own. The guys flocked to her. She never paid for her own drinks, they would be lined up at the bar waiting for her. And the girl oozed sex appeal. I too thought at the time, that I would be eternally single, but it wasn't the case. As you get older, you do gain more confidence. And if your weight bothers you, you can do something about that. But do it for you, not for any other reason. You will find it easier to achieve that way. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (23 April 2011):
It all depends, my dear. If you are content with how you look right now and you look confident, and know how to work with what you have, that should be enough to get a guy. Also, guys' views on what's pretty differ vastly from what girls think.
Many girls think you have to be very very slim in order to be pretty enough, while many guys actually don't like that at all. So your curves might actually appeal more than a skinny version of you would. Many guys would pick Kim Kardashian (bodywise) over many models women envy. Christina Hendricks is a size 14 and men drool over her. Both women have something in common: they are confident and know how to dress to their advantage. That's what makes them sexy.
If you hate the way you look, you're giving off a negative vibe that guys will undoubtedly pick up and it's a turnoff to them. Women come in all shapes and sizes. As long as you take care of yourself I see no problem with being a bit bigger. You can be very sexy if you know how to work it!
HOWEVER, if your size is the result of an inactive and unhealthy lifestyle, I would change that up by getting professional advice from a dietician/nutritionist and a personal trainer at the gym. You might think that's going to cost you a ton of money, but it doesn't need to be that way. Book 1 session with each of them, hammer them with questions and record/write things down. You will get all the info you need.
I hired a personal trainer when I was 19 and trust me, I was just another student with a lousy job on the side. He checked up on me every 4 weeks and I needed to show progression every 4 weeks or I'd get bootcamp 3 hour training. Things like that help you discipline yourself so you can do the other workouts on your own.
As for diet, quit all the sodas, juices, coffee and stick to plain water or tea. Avoid eating a lot of starch (potatoes, pasta, rice) so they won't be the bulk of your meals. Cut down on snacks. By just doing this you will lose weight. I still recommend seeing a professional, for optimal advice. It's worth the money.
So in short, stop moping and start living! You're so young, it's sad to see you're worrying about being alone forever. Many people aren't even dating at that age!
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A
female
reader, AnalyticalMentalityOx +, writes (23 April 2011):
I definitley agree with the female reader comment before mine.... The thing is when you look good you feel great! I know when i have nice clear skin i feel more confident in talking to people because i know i look good in the face...
Which is the same as when you have a good figure and body shape, you feel amazing because you have worked so hard to look like that and it really does show!! Course it takes a while and you'll hate having to eat healthier and workout and wanna give up. But don't!! Once you reach the end of your goal you will be bloody happy you stayed with it and pushed yourself!!
That said, a little tip is that maybe you should watch how your friends act around guys and start trying mimicking some of their actions yourself.
But really it sounds like you just need confidence. I'm not lieing when i say this and guys will agree. Nothing is sexier than a woman who is confident, in herself and how she carries herself! Guys love confident woman and are drawn to them (regardless of looks, honestly!). It shows men that they are comfortable in their skin and their is something so attractive about it, that they will want to talk to you.
Hope this helps :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): I'm not trying to be rude,but if its bothering u that much why don't u start dieting and excersisng. I used to be the big 1 out of all my friends and my 2 sisters also. I went through a lot being the only 1 thicker then the rest. As soon as turned 20 something clicked in my head that it was time to take care of the problem so I did. I finaly started working out watching what I was eating. Now they envy what I wear and I get a lot of attention from guys not only beacause of the way I look its also because I have way more confidence in myself. So u won't get nowhere in life feeling sorry for yourself u are the only person who could take care of this problem so do it. Have fun when your done trust me your gonna say it was soooo worth it! Good Luck!
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