A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i found out my husband was having an affair when he left his telephone out for me to check and saw texts from other woman. i was shocked and he packed his stuff and left that night to stay in her spare room as a lodger. Two days later he regretted it and text me, after a week he came back to our spare room, then a week later he told me he was going cinema said had booked while away, told me fully booked but when i checked it wasnt, wouldnt let me go with him so i became suspicious we had argument he left to stay at friends. Came back after another week. Last week went out with mates didnt ask me if i wanted to go home late we had argument next day, he went back to other womans spare room. Saw him a few days later and he was in tears saying he loves me, he said he doesn't want a divorce, i said needed time to think, next day i said prepared to make a go if he was, he said he was going to think hard as we couldnt go on like this, i now feel my suspicions of his behaviour were unfounded, he swears nothing going on anymore with this woman, he just lodging, what shall i do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): You're in the prime of your life. No children (if you had any) at home, am assuming in employment etc. Get out there and do something to take your mind off your boring cliche of a husband. I guarantee when he realises you're not sitting around waiting for him to 'choose' he will be back on his knees, by which time and with a new life emerging you'll probably find you don't want him. Concentrate on you and let her deal with his pathetic mid-life crisis. You deserve much better!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): I agree. He has lied on several occasions and when he comes back he runs to her whenever there is any problem between you. You don't need any interference from this woman so if he isn't prepared to give her up and provide TRUE explanations, then give him the heave ho.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 April 2011):
 if he was having sex with her before you found out there is no way he is now just sleeping in her spare room.
Dont fall for his lies and his bullshit. Sorry to be so blunt.
If he wants to get back with you he needs to undergo a complete attitude change, starting with admitting he is a two timing whoring pig. Only after he admits to himself and to you that he is a liar can you move on to considering anything further.
My advise to you is, while you are waiting for him to stop lying to you, is to start protecting yourself for your future, make sure any finances are safe, and any assets, it is not unusual for women in our age group to be left struggling on the poverty line.
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