A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Im a chinese divorced woman met this Englishman 18 years older than me. I love him and try my best to learn English. We've been together for 2 years but we dont live together. My english improves a lot but there is still misunderstanding sometimes. He's got no patient when I dont get what he says and raises his voice at me. It hurts my feelings as he is not trying to understand me. And he likes to tease me in front of his friends about my English problem. Most of his friends think he is errogant and rude. But he always says he loves me. I dont think he respects me and I start to distant him. Am I doing the right thing? Please advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): My husband is from morocco. His English is excellent, but we still have misunderstandings. When we discuss important things, I always ask if he understands.
Your guy is a jerk. You should find someone better. In the meantime, tell him that all communication between the two of you will be in your language. Let him see how it feels to be ridiculed.
A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 You are a lady from a beautiful culture and do not deserve this treatment. I try to learn my boyfriend's language and sometimes, I mess up. He kindly corrects me and we smile about it. He's learning my language too and I also help him. I NEVER shout or get impatient. I admire his effort. Your boyfriend is rude and his behavior is disgusting. If his own friends don't think he's nice, that tells you that he is a real jerk. You deserve better. I hope you don't give up on western men because of this, some are very nice-I'm sorry you found an idiot like this.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Your boyfriend is arrogant and rude, and his behavior towards you is demeaning. Please do not continue to allow him to make you feel badly. Yes, you are doing the right thing by distancing himself.
I dated a Japanese man for 9 years, English was his second language, and even though he had studied at great length English, there were still things he didn't understand or might say the wrong way. Did I laugh or make fun of him? No, I helped him, explained to him the correct spelling, meaning of the word, or explained to him about English expressions. The man was a cardiologist with a Phd...was he stupid? OF COURSE NOT! And neither are you. Your boyfriend is a jerk. Dump him.
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