A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help someone please,I have finished with my husband of 19 years and I really don't want him back its over for good....My problem is that I have fallen head over heals with a man ten years younger than me, we meet on holiday and he is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time we have kept in touch via e-mails, text messages and via our phones, he is constantly on my mind he asked me to meet up with him but then said he couldn't as its complicated he is so scared of his mum finding out about us he worrys about up setting her, I can understand why as she lost a son and only has one left so she protects him, I feel he just doesn't want to dissapoint her in anyway....I have sent him an e-mail today telling him that I know it could never be and that I now need to move on with my life but I will always love him, I really want to phone him and tell him I made a mistake with the e-mail but on the other hand he needs to know that I do have feelings and not to play with my emotions by telling me he loves me but wont meet up with me....Am I doing the right thing please advise me as its killing me insideThankyoufrom a lady who really needs to be strong x
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male
reader, saddad +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Sorry, but this nonsense. You dont just end a 19 yr marriage because of some young stud u "fall in love with" while on holiday. Holiday romances are not "real love" a holiday is a break from normalilty and holiday flings, while they may make u believe you are head over heels, are simply fantasies. Most are impossible to translate into everyday life. Was this holiday in a foreign country? I would be asking you what went wrong with your marriage and to tell you not to get your hopes up for the prospects of turning this holiday fling into long-term love.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 I think you did the right thing and a very brave thing. I am not so concerned about the age difference, more the mom pleasing. It's one thing to honor your mom and to be honest with her-and I'm all for that-but when you can't tell her things then there is something more going on. I'm thinking this man is in his 20's and maybe not quite mature enough for a solid relationship. There are plenty of age difference relationships 10 years apart, nothing he should be ashamed of.
You bravely sent a closure email letting him know where you stand. You are protecting yourself from further hurt by moving on. He may get back with you but if I were you, I'd make sure he didn't have issues with the age. It could be his issues and nothing at all to do with his mom.
Good luck to you. Find someone good. 19 years of marriage is a long time to be off the market. You should feel good that you were able to have feelings for someone.
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A
male
reader, macmichael +, writes (6 November 2007):
love isnt precious (well not between a couple) because its based on so many conditions of attraction, for example someone like me who is underconfident and cant get a woman. my love is clearly unprecious ! its not nice and im sure the mods wownt post this but we do know its true.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (5 November 2007):
 You are stronger than you think hon. When you made the decision to say you needed to move on with your life you followed your commom sense. You can love someone and loose them but letting go is the hard part.
You might want to consider being his friend. This could be even harder but if he loves you too it would be easier than letting of something so precious as love.
Just a thought as I don't know the whole story but you must also consider that he could be younger than he said or he could be married. It is possible that he is close to his Mother and he is ashamed to let her know that he cares for someone who is much older than he is. Age should not be a big factor as long as he is not extremely young or immature.
When you simply let him go , gracefully I might add, you sort of left him hanging if he has been honest with you. If he loves you and you love him then you both deserve the chance to find out how it would end. Take the chance and seek the answers to your questions. If it's all been on the up and up then you could have plenty to gain.
God is much wiser than we are. Seek his wisdom and you will find favor in his eyes and in your heart. Godspeed.
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