A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'll just jump right into it.I dated this guy. I completely fell head-over-heels for him. In a few short weeks I was infatuated with him. We dated for about a month and a half before breaking up for complicated reasons. He said he wanted me, but that now isn't the right time.He was controlling. He gave me an ultimatum between my best friend and him. Then again between my sister and him. He wouldn't let me wear make up to school. He said no low cut shirts.Normally I wouldn't take this from anyone, but I was so infatuated.We weren't together anymore, but still talked all day every day. This made getting over him impossible for me. He started talking to his ex girlfriend, and denied any romantic feelings towards her, but I soon found out otherwise. Yes, I snooped a little on his phone, but oh well. I know that was wrong, and that I shouldn't be mad because we aren't together. I'm really not mad about that as much as I feel like he's using me. When I come over he talks about how hot other girls are, and then tries to have sex with me. That's not okay in my book.Our relationship was very difficult, and it led to me being alienated from everyone. Starting today I cut him off. I ignored his calls and texts. I feel awful though because he doesn't have many friends and me cutting off contact is sort of out of the blue. I've just been depressed and it's because I can't get over him. I don't want to hurt him, I still care about him so much. I want him to be happy. He's just done so many things over a short period of time that hurt me, I don't know.Am I doing the right thing by cutting him off? I don't even know what to say to him because I know he'll be pissed at me now for ignoring him. I'm so tempted to call him, but I'm sick of hurting.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 absolutely you have done the right thing and you KNOW you have but i think you are now just afraid of his reaction.
he sounds like quite a poisonous person and as such you are better away from him. i am not surprised he does not have friends if this is the way he treats people.
he is keeping in touch with you for HIS benefit NOT YOURS so don't feel bad. you gave him the chance to love you and he blew it.
i had a similar situation with an ex of mine, he would get abusive when i said i did not want the 'friendly' phone calls anymore, because he knew that he would not be able to pry into my life anymore. so for a year i accepted these calls from him, just coz i didnt want to 'hurt' him more than he said i was already doing, but i dreaded the calls. in the end i had to stop being nice and do what was right for me which meant telling him not to contact me again
your ex is harming you by staying in contact because he knows that you are not over him and that there is less chance that you will get over him while you are still behaving like friends. the minute you tell him that you have moved on and met someone else i am sure your ex would then up his game, try to get you back and ruin your new relationship. he wants you on a piece of string. he's the bad one - not you. just move on.
x
A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (1 July 2011):
i would stay away from him he sounds way too possesive and controlling "he wouldnt let you wear make up" no way you deserve so much better than this and possesive men only get worse they are very jealous people they will eventually try to stop you speaking to everyone you care about so it will be just you and him and you do not want that
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): dont call him. you dont have to feel responsible for someone elses happiness.if he hurt you then he doesnt need to be in your life.
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A
male
reader, JayJay101 +, writes (1 July 2011):
i think you are doing the right thing because he obviously has not shown that he truly loves you and wants to be committed to you. I broke up with my fiance about a year ago and i would have done anything in my power to get that woman back which i did to no success, and we talked after our break up but i would never have gone back to talking to my ex and saying other girls are hot i just think hes immature and if he really has changed and wants something serious he would have truly shown you that a long time ago with much more effort in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (1 July 2011):
 I have to remind myself every now and again that the right thing to do is usually not the easiest thing to do. And it sounds like you did the right thing. You are empowering yourself and making the healthy choice. He'll fuss for awhile to try and get a reaction and/or just to try and prove himself right, that you'll always come running back. Stay strong!
It may be hard to do, but it sounds like it is definitely the right thing. Good luck, sweet!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): Perhaps you enjoy the drama that he offers you.If you do not end this it will be years of regret, regret, especially when u are barefoot and pregnant by this guyI have now had 5 relationships and finally settled with someone normal.I was also infatuted with someone when i was young, did not listen to advice to leave because i felt bad if i left and she needed me. Well, guess what, she cheated me of everything.If u do not take this advise then you are a fool and deserve what he gives you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): Yes, you did the right thing.Controlling people have internal issues, it has nothing to do with you. He's demonstrating "ownership" of you by doing that stuff, not "partnering".It's freaky.Really freaky, scary. Don't get involved with guys like this.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Pain is natures way of telling you that something is bad for you, physically or emotionally. So listen to what your heart is telling you and cut him off, it's the only way you will start to heal and feel better about yourself again.
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