A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For a while now, I have had suspicions that my boyfriend is cheating on me. No concrete evidence, just overly flirty texts, rumors etc. So I have asked him multiple times and we end up fighting every time and hE always denies it.I recently confronted him on a rumor I heard and he just freaked out on me and told me I'm crazy, he can't deal with it and obviously I'm not happy so we should just end the relationship if I'm going to constantly be questioning him. He said he's more honest with me than he's ever been in his life and it gets him nowhere.How can I know if I'm just crazy or if he's just a cheater who is in denial? :(
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female
reader, betrayed03  +, writes (3 April 2010):
Well follow your institutions, if your intuition tells you he is than yes he is cheating! My situation is similar to yours. My boyfriend was constantly texting "his friends", when I would question him he would get real defensive like you I had my suspicions & no concrete evidence. My instinct told me that he was cheating, this started in December & just this month on the weekend of my birthday my instinct was confirmed! I didn't follow my instinct but you need to follow yours.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): I am the original poster. Here is what I've found over the course of a little over a year:
He recently told my friends boyfriend he was verrrry good with this girl I don't like. with an emphasis on the *verrrry*. He thought it was a strange comment so he told me. My boyfriends answer is that he was being sarcastic, they're barely friends and he was just being sarcastic. He is friends with her however, even though we dislike each other!
Topless photo of a girl we know on his phone. He says it was taken by a friend who sent it to me & they laughed over it.
A girl told her friends my bf tried to kiss her! My boyfriend says she was making this up out of anger. She applied to his job, he's in charge of the hiring and he hired a guy she uses to date for the job instead of her.
I saw a picture of him and a girl I don't like at a basketball game together. He says they just ran into each other there. Plenty of people go to games!
He is very flirtatious, I've always known this, he is very friendly to girls even in front of me and I just don't know what to believe.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
And he will keep denying it, until the moment you have concrete evidence. He's adamant he hasn't cheated. And you have no evidence that he has, other than a few flirty texts and a rumour. If he is cheating, you need to find more evidence that is concrete before you confront him. Because if he's not cheating, he's going to walk because you're wrong.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Would you consider yourself somebody with trust issues? From what you've told us I see no specific reason to not trust him. Is there a chance that he is telling the truth and that all of these rumors are untrue?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): its obvious the talking thing just turns out for the worst so maybe just back off for a bit and let him get his space.
you have every right to know if hes cheating but maybe hes really not and your not crazy, its other people who keep putting these things in your head. People will do anything to see you fall so in less they have real hardcore proof about him physically all over another woman, just ignore it. focus on your relationship and in time when theres enough trust buliding up maybe you guys can have a serious talk about the situation. hope that helped =]
--christina
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