A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am far too embarrassed to ask anyone I know about this, so here it is:Can you go crazy from never getting sexual relief? I'm a 25 year old virgin, and I've also never had an orgasm. A long time ago, I believed you didn't need to have sex or have orgasms to have a happy, fulfilling life. I thought that stuff was just "icing on the cake". I've learned this is not the case. I've been questioning my sanity. Reasons for this:1.) I think about sex ALL THE TIME. So much it interferes with my sleep, work, and how I interact with others. 2.) I feel at least some sexual attraction to every man I meet, (excluding men MUCH older or younger than me). Generally men between 22 and 35. It doesn't seem to matter what they look like, either. 3.) I sometimes fixate on one man in-particular, and become obsessed with thinking about him. Of course I think about sex with him among other sexual acts, and I imagine him being sexually obsessed with me as well. I end up avoiding said man in real life, for fear I'll give off signals and he'll find me creepy. (I've been told men are very good at sensing when a woman is attracted to them, even if she doesn't say anything). 4.) I get jealous when I think about how many sex partners other people my age have had. There are a few other reasons, but I feel they are irrelevant to my question. Reason 3 concerns me most. So please, what are your thoughts? Am I crazy because of lack of sexual relief? Or is "craziness" determined by genetics alone? I've had my hormones levels tested so I know it can't be an imbalance. If you're a woman who has never had an orgasm, do you get the problems I mentioned above? If you're a woman who who got relief after years of going without, how did you feel after? And men, can you really tell when a woman is attracted to you? If so, how? Does she give off a scent or is it strictly her body language that gives it away? Sorry if I'm asking too many questions. I don't care if you don't have "facts" to share. Opinions are just fine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): I would agree with BW, stay away from sex until you're in love and hopefully married. You will prolly feel healthier with orgasms though so I would try to masturbate though and give yourself pleasure that way- orgasms are good for you and will relieve your stress.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (1 May 2014):
 My Dear… If you lived in the mountains, sex would be the least thing on your mind. But look at the world we live in. Every movie, TV shows, even commercials are loaded with sexual content. In movies, they make it seem the only reason for living is to get laid. They show virgins as being losers, fools for waiting, prude, or the ones to go after to take their virginity. REALLY ???Movies show a lot of sexual things, but they never show what really happens when people rush into sex, and do all kinds of stupid things to get it. You are not crazy, you are just over stimulated by the world around you.What do I say to you … STAY A VIRGIN AS LONG AS YOU CAN !!! If you can wait until marriage, do it. You will not regret it, not matter what this world have to say about it. DO NOT get dragged into this world’s view of sex. It has dragged down the rich and famous, broken up many relationships, and marriages, send many to jail for rape and child molestation, and countless other things, all because they handle sex like a game.Sex can be the most amazing feeling when mixed with real love. Respect it, and it will blow your mind…for real.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 May 2014):
 Are you crazy? No.
Up until the 1980's the term HYSTERIA was used for women (and men) who had ANY kind of hint of mental illness, and/or those who basically couldn't reach orgasm, sexually frustrated. TWO very different things. We all know now that more and more mental illnesses have been mapped and diagnosed. And they aren't about sexual frustration.
It wasn't really considered that women could GET an orgasm from sex. Basically women were just the "vessel" to hold the seed and then the baby, they didn't need to ENJOY it.
Women were sent to the doctor for "hysteria" and the CURE was a hand-job (manipulation of the clitoris basically). If you read the history of the vibrators.. You might have a good laugh too. Again interesting.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201303/hysteria-and-the-strange-history-vibrators
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3480686/
I think maybe you are obsessing over sex & sexuality. If you have NEVER tried to give yourself an orgasm, only HEARD what it's supposed to feel like, to "do" to you, I think it's partly a VERY imaginative fantasy-life you lead. And partly a matter of wanting what you don't have. You seem to want it, yet avoid it?
How are your social skills? Are you good at interacting with people? Do you have friends? Female & male ? Do you talk these subjects over with other female friends?
Is staying a virgin a choice you made out of personal beliefs or religious beliefs? Or have you just not found someone you felt was "worthy" of sharing your first time with? (There is NOTHING wrong, by the by, with being a virgin at your age, I'm asking out of curiosity).
Have you never tried to masturbate? If not, why not?
Our culture and society is EXCESSIVELY sexualized. And YOUR generation is EXCESSIVELY focused on instant gratification.
EVERYONE are constantly bombarded with sexual hints and promises.
You NOW believe that you can not lead a happy and fulfilling life without sex. Even though you have NEVER had it. I don't agree with you, neither would anyone who is asexual.
SEX is needed for continuing the species. That fact that MANY people ENJOY the act is (if you ask me) a side benefit, that we humans have gone JUST a little overboard with.
Do men KNOW when a woman is interested. No always. MEN do not have extra-sensitive perception or can read minds. SOMETIMES a man (or a woman) can tell if someone is interested in them, but sometimes they can be totally clueless.
Does a woman give off a scent if she is interested? I don't think so. WOMEN DO give off a scent when ovulating, they have a higher "dose" of hormones during this time as well. http://www.triliumhealth.com/article.asp?ID=61&title=Science%20behind%20Sex%20Appeal:%20What%20REALLY%20attracts%20you%20to%20your%20mate?
Body language gives away a lot more then scent (generally) and you might ask why. Because we ALL cover up out natural scents with body washes and perfumes.
However, you can TRAIN yourself to mind your own body language. And you can speak ONE language (so to speak) and people will read it as another.
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A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (1 May 2014):
 Hi,I've counselled a number of men and women who seemed to be exactly in your situation, they too thought they were going nuts because they weren't getting off.Some people can go a day, week, month without sex (others need it every day). There is no hard and fast rule. I tend to think that you are obsessing because you aren't getting any.It may be time to masturbate and get your mind over this issue. To answer your question, no I don't think you are going crazy. I think you are getting edgy because your hormones are going crazy for a release.You are only 25, so have the rest of your life. But I really think it may be time to get a vibrator or some other toys and just go nuts. I think the longer you leave it, the worse you will get until eventually you do it with someone and then regret it.Hope that helps, even a little. Good luck.
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