A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi friends,I was liking a girl and we both came into a relationship knowing that both of ours family wont agree with it and have know that it wont be last longing.our office was far but i used to drop her home in cab when it was too.but i started dropping daily.we got intimate in cab few times.which was never my thought ever but all this just happened.when i told her to control all this than she started giving very dangerous feedback.which was never expected from her.she was completely a different girl now.she shout at me wildly calling at night.i some how try to control her by accepting whatever she wants.i told her that in next few days i m going to be too busy to talk to her or text her.unfortunately that time is continuing till date.she was not able to bear this.i always called her even if i get a second time to talk.she started becoming lot more possesive than before.one day i just explained her not to be so possessive and all.and from that day she is behaving as a totally different person.I am a businessman,and on one great day and on peak time she called me and on my continuous explaining her she was not putting off phone.I was handle phone and customer together.as there was no shop staff in my shop at that time.at late night i have to go her home ground floor in my friend bike which is 12KM from my place.as i told her that we can't move on like that than she started behaving more adversely.all of her friend and my 2 friend got to know about us and all of us were trying to explain that we both cant continue like this and we should break up and stay normally as a normal friend or leave each other.she than shared all our intimacy in details with one of my friend who was also his friend.my friend is no more in talking term with me.than also i am trying to control that girl reaction my explaining her everything.Now i am not talking to her from 3 weeks but she is doing suicidal things like taking sleeping pills and all.last night i heard that she was admitted to hospital for two days.I am really concerned for her and have never wanted to see her in this condition.please help me by suggesting how can i make her well again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2014): Thanx soveryLCDx for your helpful suggestion.Its good to see you well again from your past.Well,I have shown her all my concern for her through my friend and directly both.But now the state is like she have lost all trust on me.I have told her to be FRIENDS,but in reality from that word only our main problem have started.Now no matter whatever I try to explain her,she take it in opposite sense.Like I told her that taking sleeping pills and all are not the solution,but she think that I am saying her this to save myself from police and all.I am HONEST to her,but the more I being HONEST to her and meet her the more she get thinking of suicidal part.and she gets out of control.Recently after hospital she again came to meet me at my work place,and I greeted her well,but she was too furius at me.and that day I concluded that my family already know about us everything and intimacy too,and I will again try to talk to them.This conversation ended in front of my friend.But again she called me today,and was saying that will I give her what she want?,and I answered that let me talk to my family.and in conversation I got to know that She want that I keep fighting with my family for 1,2,3 or 4 years and 1 day my and her family will definately agree upon this and if they say NO than we shud RUN from Home and marry.and all this because once we were highly intimate in cab and she can't marry other guy like this and she was again to her suicidal mode.I am really not getting how to make her well again.?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2014): You can't MAKE her well, she has a mental illness... Whether it be depression, or bipolar or something else, or a mixture of things, I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but her behaviour is extremely unstable and irratic- which isn't a reflection on you, It's something she needs to get professional help for. Everything you've described signals major red flags and this isn't your fault, she can't seem to handle rejection but what can you do?Well you're already doing what you should be doing- worrying and caring about her welfare, rather than washing your hands of her. I remember being a similar way, really distressed , and I reached out to a guy I was kinda involved with at the time n guess what- he ignored me, blocked me, couldn't even tell me to my face- told me THROUGH all my mutual friends to leave him alone- in not nice terms. No he couldn't make me well, but he could show some genuine care and compassion, while being HONEST with her... She didn't treat you so well but she isn't well. Should you keep in contact. With her? I don't think it's the best thing for her, she needs to get some help on her own. HOWEVER, what I would do in the situation is write her a sincere get well letter, but don't make it romantic. Mention you care about her as a person and wish her well in getting better. You don't want to lead her on thinking you want a relationship, but say you'll be there for her as a friend- and that you're gunna give her SPACE to get better. I think if she finds out you knew she was in hospital and DIDNT send her your regards, it would make her feel very bad. You're a compassionate guy, but all you can do is be openly honest with her that you'll be there as a FRIEND, and the kind thing is to give her some space and let her deal with this on her own.
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