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female
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*ack Bauer's lover
writes: Hi,Just a quick history.I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years, and we are great together. We are open and honest with eachother and always talk to eachother if one of us is upset or angry with the other.Just recently he brought a new computer for christmas and is always on it. I dont mind at all, if fact i queit enjoy watching him play games etc on it.It broke down this week and it has been taken for repairs, and this is where it starts.He has been moody, angry and i constantly end up crying.The computer is under warrenty so we don't have to pay anything, but he keeps telling me how bored he is. I try and find things for us to do, like watch films, go on my laptop, and even go out.But he doesnt want to spend money, and even though we share our pay and i offer to take him out at my expensive he refuses.He ends up going to sleep and then blaming me the next day as i couldnt think of something to do.He admits he is a difficult person to deal with, but i am constantly confused by him.Today he told me he was going to Devon to see a friend. It would cost him over £50 in petrol to get there, and he would see me until Sunday.We normally spend weekends together and i am heartbroken by this idea.I dont understand why he wants to save money, but yet he is spending money to go to Devon!I am a bit shy, and i dont have much to talk about with him, so he says i am a crap person to talk to, which i totally agree with him, becuase i know i am not one to start conversations.I just need some help to work out why he is like this?Do you think my relationship is ending?What things could i do when we stay in at night so he doesn't get bored?Many Thanks in advanceJade
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christmas, heartbroken, money, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Hi,
are you ready for some home truths about your boyfriend?
He has got you wrapped around his little finger, he knows that he only has to whinge and complain and you will come running. What a jerk. How about for once he finds something to amuse himself for a change like the rest of us on this planet.
Ask yourself this, if you weren't together what would he do to occupy his time? complain to his parents, his friends? they would all say "grow up and find something to do yourself".
Maybe it's time you did this. You don't need to think up things, a relationship is a partnership not something where one person has to entertain the other.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008): Hmm well, it sounds like you guys might not have much in common. You say you dont have a lot to talk to him about? That might not be a good sign..
If things keep going in the direction they are, you might want to just break it off, because from experience, it probably is only going to get worse.
Find someone who complements you & meshes with you.
Good luck hun 3
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A
female
reader, princess*d*  +, writes (21 February 2008):
hiya,you better start saving your strong relationship here are so ideas to do to make sure your partner isnt bored
*having sex
*board games
*inviting some friends round for the night
*Go nightclubbing
*go to the funfair
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A
female
reader, Honor +, writes (21 February 2008):
I do not mean to make things worst or cause you more worry.....but do you think it is possible he may have met someone online seeing as he is that obssessed with the internet and now went moody he can not use it? And it is possible that person lives in Devon hence what the trip is about? It sounds rather suspicious to me that he suddenly decides to go to Devon out of the blue....unless of course you know for a fact who he is visiting there etc. And why can you not accompany him to Devon seeing as he IS driving therefore there is easily room in the car for one more?Sorry to say this or perhaps cause any other alarm bells going off in your head; and I could be completely way way way off here but those were the alarm bells that went off in my head so perhaps this is something that needs more investigation?Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (21 February 2008):
Hi,
First of all it is not your job to keep him amused. Who does he think he is? "Little Lord Fauntleroy"!
You clearly do have some things that are affecting your relationship and it sounds to me that you could each do with making some changes. However to address specifics in trying to heal a relationship is something that is best done with the help of a relationship counsellor which would do you both good.
I think you also need to address your self esteem issues. Maybe I can help with this latter but it is difficult without knowing more. If you want to send me a private message I will try to help on that.
You should try and discuss with him the possible benefits of seeing a relationship counsellor and I know there are some good ones in the UK who are also on this site so maybe one will also respond to this question.
Whatever you do and no matter what happens do not give up. You are not alone even if it feels like it sometimes.
Good luck.
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