A
female
age
30-35,
*dearcupid.-
writes:my best friend has been a pretty big bitch lately.i love her, but she just doesnt get me anymore.thing is, i cant stop being friends with her, becausei know she is suicidal. and i know that when we get into fights shit happens. i dont want her to hurt herself, but i really need my space. she just doesnt get that i cant handle being around her 24/7. i think i might be replacing her, gradually with my other friend. i feel bad, but me and the other friend get along so much better... i feel trapped. i want to tellher to leave me alone sometimes. a lot of the time, i want to just ignore her. i feel like a bitch though, and a terrible best friend. what should i do?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (21 February 2008):
 You are not a bad best friend at all. She is obviously depending on you and that is a tough spot to be in for anybody at any age. You have to remember that there is only so much you can do, your friend does need help quite urgently; whether that be counselling or something slightly more advanced. You also need breaks to keep yourself afloat so you need the space, a break from the pressure this situation obviously places you under.
Feeling guilty although natural and comendable (it shows you care) is not going to help and just place yourself under more pressure. Having said that ignoring her is not the best course of action. What you do is you need to set boundries and you also need to encourage her to confide in others. You also need to encourage her to seek out help as soon as possible from a professional; in looking to you she is already doing that but it is neither fair on you nor ultimately will it give her what she needs.
I would talk to her about how you feel, explain and show you still care but say, as gently as you possibly can, that there are times when you need your own space. Tell her you know shes going through alot and that you are still there for her and are her best friend. If there is a serious risk of her doing something then, as a last resort, you may need to consider confiding in a trusted adult yourself. She probably wont thank you at all but in the long run you are only looking out for her; she won't see it because her emotional state will blind her to it but you need to be sure of yourself and that you are doing the right thing. I have been in your position and I know it is hard but never turn on yourself and feel that you are a bad person...I wish you the best of luck :)
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