A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I've been with my boyfriend for two years and for the past few months i've noticed i'm never "in the mood", we used to be sooo intimate at the start of our relationship and it was great and now the thought actually makes me feel negative. We've tried a few things to try and spice it up but they're okay but it's nothing amazing. I just see it as boring, uncomfortable (i had some problems physically)and i don't actually get anything out of it so to me its a waste of time. I don't know if i'm starting to lose attraction towards him therefore ruining our intimate life or i just generally find intimacy boring, i just don't know what to do and would love some help, thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 if you are in pain during sex no wonder you are put off by it.
first thing to do is get a complete medical work up with the gyn and make sure everything is ok... once you have a clean bill of health (and discuss the pain issues as well)
if you are on hormonal BC (pill or implant) that could affect your drive too.
if you are not feeling connected to your partner emotionally that will also affect your drive and desire.
are you able to orgasm on your own? do you orgasm from oral or manual stimulation?
(you probably find sex boring because you don't orgasm from straight penetration and your partner is probably not aware of how to help with this issue?
if you can orgasm alone but not with your partner, then if you want you can teach your guy how to make sex more exciting and interesting for you....
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (11 February 2014):
 it definitely does sound as though your relationship is getting quite boring for you and fizzling out. saying that you see no point in sex because you're not getting anything out of it is quite an indicator of that. lots of people enjoy the simple closeness of sex, regardless of orgasm, because it's a way to connect to your partner intimately/emotionally. i think if you were happy, you may find that to be the case.
don't get me wrong, lots of relationships fizzle out in the bedroom and are still healthy. but it gets replaced by comfort and stability. you may not be having sex like jack rabbits all the time, but you still love and fulfill each other.
perhaps consider taking a break, if trying to spice things up isn't helping at all. feeling undesired is a terrible feeling. so he must know something is wrong, and it probably is really hurting his self esteem. either take a break and see if you can't get that spark back, or maybe it's time to call it quits, for both of your sake.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, Priyanka09  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 If you are not enjoying intimacy with him, you got to first answer yourself, if you are enjoying emotional stuffs with him? Do you look forward to meeting him, spending time with him? If the answer to that is no as well, then you surely need a break from each other. But if you think its only physically that you have left interest in him, then you can take a break from intimacy and give yourself a new start by being more emotionally close with each other. Once you feel more closer to him, maybe the physical aspect may follow more naturally.
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