A
male
age
30-35,
*aydating
writes:Ok I have asked for help regarding to this matter before, and here I am again asking for some help. I just want to know if I'm being used. Ok for those who didnt saw my last questions, the things is this I met a guy online and we have been going on dates, supposedly as friends. but the last 2 times we saw each other, things got a little out of hand, and well we ended up kissing and cuddling. well, we were planing to have lunch together today, But we ended up not doing it because he didnt texted me to arrange things. I sent him a message on thurs and he replied but he didnt replied my second message. So I decided to wait to see if he would text me. saturday came, and I didnt had heard from him. So I decided to text him on saturday night, and again didnt heard from him. So today, I asked him if there was anything wrong, and well he said he was in a kinda sad mood. so I asked him why, and he told me it was because he was missing his ex....when I got that message my heart broke into little pieces. I feel I was used, I have started to have feelings for this guy. and i know he told me he needed time like a month or two before he gets into a relationship again,I understand that people need time when they just broke up, but why do they always talk about their ex? ugh i felt like if i was used, he has been a very honest guy since i met him (well, of course I'm not 100%) but it seems he is, so maybe that's why he told me he was missing his ex. But why doesnt he sees that I'm being hurt every time he talks about his ex. I feel I was being used as a rebound so he could get over his past relationship. what should I do? should I move on? should I just give him that month or two his asking? or what? i'm new to this gay relationships since I just came out of the closet, and well need help from people who have gone through the same situation.
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male
reader, gaydating +, writes (31 March 2011):
gaydating is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, I decided to move on, this guy turned out to be a total jerk. I saw that he created another profile in the dating website under different username and city, he said he lived in the city where i live but he doesnt. So i created another account too, and i emailed him and he replied, So i sent him 2 emails with my real account and he didnt replied. he was honest in too many things except that he was seeing someone, I gave him my phony email and he gave me his other phony email too...I also talked to his ex, to see what type of guy he was, supposedly he told me he is a great guy and all, but i see his a fake, and also i found out he started getting to know me right in the week he broke up with his ex. I felt so sad for being the one who had to do ask his ex and tell him what had happened between me and this guy, but at least what we got to know is going to help both of us move on. they were going out for like 13 months and i cant believe this guy started looking for a new relationship right after he broke up with his ex. now i dont know how to confront him, I deleted my phony account and do not what to do, since i dont want to hurt my self more. I'm glad i found out the type of guy he was before I fell more in love for him.
A
male
reader, gaydating +, writes (22 March 2011):
gaydating is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks blonde30s thats what im going to do, give us time to get each other more and, that will give him time to get over his past relationship....and yes I will still go on other dates...only time will tell.
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (21 March 2011):
 I think you need to move on. Sounds like he's not ready for a relationship yet... and that you are definitely being used as the 'rebound guy'.
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A
male
reader, ThaMusicMan  +, writes (21 March 2011):
aww, sorry to hear that happened to you :( unfortunately, I can totally relate to your situation. As to whether or not he actually did "use" you, it's tough to say. In my opinion, it sounds more like he just wasn't ready to start dating again and needs some space, but then again, I don't know him, so I can't say for sure. It's not gonna be easy, but your best bet is most likely to just try moving on and seeing other people for the time being. I know letting go isn't easy, and neither is meeting people, but you'll be better off in the long run. And hey, you never know, he may come around in time. To put it in a cheesy quote: "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was to begin with." Good luck! :)
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