A
female
age
30-35,
*lameOfConfusion
writes:Well, it happened.. But I broke it off for the right reasons. I couldn't carry on the relationship knowing I was just taking up space for his chances to have a true relationship, since ours was long distance. He lives across the world. The other reason was that we'd have had issues in the future due to our difference in religious faith (family would probably screw things up too), so I decided to end it to save the pain. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I truly believe it's for the better because I only want the best for him. I laid out my reasons honestly, and made sure I didn't just leave without giving an explanation. He wasn't saying much back, didn't reply to some of my messages, and I could tell he was hurt.. and I'm finding it extremely difficult too because I love him but we can't be together.We were together for almost 6 months and he treated me well. On the day it happened, I promised him it was for the better and made sure to explain that the reason I'm doing this was because I cared about his future. I told him that a girlfriend should be someone who can truly be there for him, someone he could hear and feel, which is true, y'know? He said that I do have a point, and that the same applies for himself as well.But then, I said some hurtful things.. I asked if he really did love me, or if lied to me about his feelings. Then I assumed he hadn't been feeling the relationship for months, which wasn't true. I already know how he feels about me. I was absolutely distraught and am not sure why I said those things. =(I was crying my eyes out because he didn't do anything wrong. The thought of having hurt his feelings is what is breaking my heart.I don't want to loose him from my life... he's my best friend and my first love, but I told him that if he never wanted to talk to me again I'd understand because of what has happened. He replied "What? No... what would make you think that's what I would want?" Which suggests to me that he wants to be friends at some point. Our relationship blossomed from a very close friendship. We tell each other pretty much everything and have helped each other a lot. I believe we can one day be friends again.We haven't spoken for four days. I want to talk to him, just to apologise for the fact that I asked him if he was lying about his feelings because that was a horrible thing of me to say. It's as though I was blaming him.. it had nothing to do with the reasons why I was breaking up (I made sure to explain the reasons honestly after saying that). I should never have said it, but I did and I feel terrible about it. It doesn't matter if he doesn't reply I just want him to know that I'm sorry for having said that. Should I send him an email or something in apology of having said that? How long should I wait before initiating contact again if we are to attempt to be friends? What can I say and things..? I just don't know what to do...Thanks so much if you read this.~ Flame
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 You made a selfless decision out of love, circumstances and distance to end this LDR and that would not have been easy.
Sad that you then ended on a sour note.but I think that was your grief and sadness talking, causing you to do that so that you would not weaken. And would go through with the break.
You know you did not need to be hurtful like that.
I do think a email is in order. write out why you added the mean comments at the end to sour things. Ending on this sour note did not need to happen.
Redress this mis-understanding now. You had the best intentions when you broke up.
But pushing him away further with unkind remarks was not the right thing to do.
Ask if you can part friends, if he will accept your apology. Ask what you can say or do that might lessen the impact of your thoughless action
Who knows, the world is a small place, and one day your path's may cross agin when a relationship is possible?
order. Lay out how you kb
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