A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 35 i have been in a rocky relatonship for almost 7 yrs,my partner has a 24 yr old son from previos relatioship and we have 2 little ones together. i recently suppected there maybe a interest in him with his ex as he had arranged to meet her one afternoon without telling me of this, i found out via a meesage she had sent him and when challanged he claimed it was to discuss his sons car, this meeting did not take place as she had cancelled, as i had seen the message he then changed his password and told her he had. i was a little confused by this but beleived it was because i had got the wrong end of the stick. I had since forgotten about this until i recently saw he had sent her a mobile message at 1.15 am that said ' nite nite x, of course this is innocent as he has known her yrs and has a son with her. Am i right to be angry about this as i assume past is past and by doing this there must still be interest however innocent he claims it to be. However i have also seen texts on his phone which were quite dirty, he also claimed it was someone having a laugh. Am i being made a complete fool of and is it better for me to ditch him and not be a doormat, this is hard as we do have 2 kids that he says we have a duty to stick it out for them, help, confused!
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 June 2010):
You need to do some real digging.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for your advice, the dirty messages i found i was never sure who they were from as he refused to go into it saying it was someone messing about, i no i need to delve deeper but im not sure how, as she must be aware of the situation. He is currently staying else where but has made it clear he doesnt want to leave because of the kids and says if he prepared to stivk it out so should. Trouble is you never really feel your able to relax and be yourself. He says i am selfish and only thinking of myself. I love him but have never really been sure how he feels truely for me. He oftens goes out at the weekends leaving me in with the children but as he comes home i havent thought anything wrong. He is a very implusive preson who gets bored very fast, maybe this reflects his love life.
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (23 June 2010):
 Hi. Something must be going on between them. Its not usual to arrange a meeting with an ex and not tell your partner. Nor is it normal to be sending them dirty texts or texting goodnight at one in the morning. If sounds as if they have a lot more contact than you realise. You need to do as CaringGuy suggests and start to delve deeper. Something isnt right x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 June 2010):
Something's going on. The dirty texts, the secret meetings and a text at 1:15am. And to top it off, he suggested you have to stick this out for the sake of your kids? No, you don't. You do not have to stay with a man who is cheating. At all. But before you decide what to do, try to find out more information. Something is going on, but without specifics you may come out looking like the person in the wrong. Do a bit more digging, get as much proof as you can then ditch him.
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A
female
reader, Spades  +, writes (23 June 2010):
 What exactly are you concered about?
Him texting his ex?
Based on the information you've provided, I wouldn't be concerned.
Although you mentioned something about him sending her dirty messages? If I had more information I could form a better opinion, but based on this, I wouldn't like that either.
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