A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I am pregnant with my first child and due to give birth in the next couple of months. I have decided that due to covid and the guidelines based around it ATM I do not want my newborn to have any visitors or meet anyone from the outside for the first 2/ 3 months. It is recommended that babies immunity does not develop fully until around the 3 month mark. I am from the Indian hesitate and thus have a few "rituals" to follow. 1) On the 6th day we must complete a naming ceremony where lots of people attend and 2) I am not allowed to cook but the food is cooked for me. Now I am quite adamant that I don't want to follow this rituals as I feel I need to protect the baby from visitors from the outside including both sets of grandparents. However, my husband is against that and said it is ridiculous to shield the baby from grandparents. He wants to complete the baby ceremony with lots of people (even though this can be done with simply myself and him) and want his mum to deliver food every day. I obviously don't want that and I know that delivering food is merely an excuse to come in to the house and sneakily trick me into caving. I am not doing this to be mean but I am genuinely worried and obviously this is my first.Am I being unreasonable and over protective in following the guidance of the midwives and my own desires. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 February 2021):
 Are you giving birth at home?
Because maybe you should consider changing that to a hospital. The hospital will shoot down that nonsense right away.
While I get that traditions are important - they are. There are times where we need to "adjust" the traditions to being more practical and sensible. In this case, you don't want a bunch of people around the newborn for the first couple of months (which is not a bad idea at all) Your husband and family doesn't agree.
So FIND a balance. Your job as a mother is to keep your baby safe. Your husband's job is to keep the BOTH of you safe. If the midwife suggest that you LIMIT or eliminate visitation for 2-3 months then MAKE it so. Have your midwife TALK to your husband so he can see sense.
If he won't see sense, TALK to your midwife and FIND a wat for the grandparents to SEE the little one SAFELY.
This is a little of topic,
Another thing to consider... Breastfeeding. Study after study has found that breastfeeding can improve your little one's immune system and keep them protected from germs and illnesses.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (17 February 2021):
 It's irrelevant what anyone else thinks. You know what they say about opinions? They are like backsides: everyone has one and they all stink.
This is YOUR child. However, I would suggest trying to find some middle ground with your husband and the family members, given that they are as much this child's family as you are its mother. I totally get that you want to protect the child (and first time mothers are usually way more protective than mothers who have "been there, done that") but I would caution against pushing the child's family away more than is strictly necessary. Who knows what bad feeling this will cause and whether relations between you all can be mended at a later date? Also, if the grandparents are old, who is to say they will live long enough to see the child if you delay the meeting?
We can only give our point of view. You are the one who needs to make the decision. Remember your husband is as much the child's parent as you are. Try to keep him on side.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 February 2021):
 In times like these you need to protect yourself and your children/child to be. You can respectfully ask others around you to follow guidelines for the pandemic, but it doesn't mean that they will. If that is the case, then do what you must to keep yourself safe. You are very vulnerable right now and you are absolutely right, your baby will be vulnerable as well. If your future husband goes to see his family, he needs to isolate himself from you when he returns. If he won't do so, then I'd honestly tell him not to come back and expose you/the baby to something. I don't think you are at all out of line for not wanting his family to be coming over to your home. Although they might mean well, they will be in fact possibly exposing you to colds/flu/even worse!
I find it disturbing that your mate's family doesn't want to see it from your point of view and try to understand. It leads you to wonder what else they may not respect of you in the future!
My husband and son and I all live a very sheltered life now because of the pandemic. We do not go anywhere except for walks twice a day. We have all of our supplies delivered. We don't go to stores, we don't have get togethers and we don't use public transportation. We are all very lucky that our jobs are from home. My husband and I are in our 50's and my husband is very suseptible to lung infections. He has had pneumonia twice. I have an immune compromised system so yes, we are scared and very careful as is my son. Others don't understand/care including some of our family. We had a family member (Cousin not immediate family) come over unexpected a few weeks ago. He didn't call, didn't skype, just showed up and basically DEMANDED to come into our home. I was extremely upset and concerned because he has kids who go to school, both him and his wife work out in the business world and they pretty much think Covid19 is a joke. He would NOT leave until one of us opened the door. He just kept banging on the the door! Finally my son put on a mask, grabbed a mask for the cousin and said "I'll go outside and talk to you but you are NOT coming into the condo and you are not staying." He told him next time to call and to NEVER show up at our home again unannounced during the pandemic.
Some people just honestly don't give a damn. Take care of yourself sweetie. You have to because in the end, no one else is going to. Do what you must to be safe. Good luck with your soon to be b
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