A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a crush on a very quiet person in my class at school who rarely ever talks to anyone(so it's not just me he does not respond to of course). I've been in the same classroom with him for just a few weeks so I don't really know himMy friend who is his friend tells me that he does not talk to those he does not know well which is perfectly understandable in my book but he says that I should try talking to him anyway and to be persistentAnd I do this but I wonder if I am pressing on him too much and if I should just leave him alone for a whileSo, usually I do the following or at least try1. Say hi to him everyday. Nothing more or less than a simple Hey or Hi(Insert name here)Most of the time he doesn't respond to this or to anyone else in the classroom who does it but sometimes he does respond to me.2. I don't do this everyday but I'll ask him a small question like how I did yesterday. My class has a project due but each student gets to choose our own and I asked him if he knew which one he was going to do yet and he just shrugged.I don't make a big fuss when he doesn't respond to me like some others do. I think my friend tried to say hi to him and when he just walked on by she was like "Oh so you're not gonna talk to me you're just gonna walk on by"I just act like it didn't even happen and go on about my business.Now, as a person, I'm pretty outgoing and silly depending on who I'm with. If he's anywhere near me though I try to tone my behavior down a little and smile.Now, I thought he was kinda warming up to me a bit lol but now I think I have a long ways to go before he opens up even a little bit( Though he may never, and that's okay because I know I'll move on eventually)The reason why I say this is because today, at the end of class I kinda tried to get his attention so that I could ask him if he liked the book that he was reading because I was familiar with it (Night by Ellie Wiesel)but he only gave me a chance to say "Hey (Insert name here)"and said something that I could not catch and then kinda speed walked past me a little(this was before the bell rang) and in my head I was like o.o(Do I offend?)I left him alone after that.And that's why I'm asking if I'm pressing too hard and if I should leave him alone for a while because I don't wanna scare him off you know?Also what does it mean when a guy does that anyway(Like when you try to talk to him he like speeds past you) I'm used to him not responding because I expect that out of someone as to themselves as he is but I didn't expect him to practically flee...However, and I don't know if I'm right or wrong but I think when I saw his lips move he said "hey" because he thought that I just wanted to say hey and went on about his business (rather quickly)What do you guys think? And if there are any suggestions you guys have on how to behave around him properly if I am being too much please do not hesitate to make your point.I am open to all of your opinions. Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): When I was your age I was extremely shy and to myself and what you described this boy doing, could have described me at that time in my life. When other's are making a big deal about him not answering or acknowledging them it just reinforces his need to keep to himself, they really should be doing what you are doing. I think him walking fast was probably just that at that exact moment he was feeling a bit anxious and felt the need to get away from everyone, not necessarily to get away from you.The way you are handling this is exactly the right way to do it, you say hi and if he doesn't respond you just let him be, you don't push the point or make fun of him for it. Continue what your doing, even though he may not show it, I assure you that he appreciates it. Good Luck
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (1 February 2012):
Hi there. It sounds like he is rather shy.
And boys will be quite shy around the age he is, when he is just starting to notice girls for the first time in an almost adult way.
Around puberty, I am talking about.
Everything changes then.
Two years ago when you were still a child and he was also, if he saw you, he would be feeling completely different.
The chances are he does like you, because his actions seem to point in that direction.
You know, blushing and feeling awkward etc. It's quite normal behaviour.
So there's not a lot you can do really. Just smile or say "Hey", and don't try to start up a conversation with him, because it's just too far outside of his comfort zone at the moment. Don't try and force things.
At least he knows you are approachable.
And over a few weeks you might find that things change a little.
It would be wise though, to let him set the pace.
Let him have the control over this, and you will probably find that things run a whole lot more smoothly.
It will be a win-win for all concerned.
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