A
female
age
36-40,
*a petite belle
writes:I am currently going through a breakup. I already have a hard time making friends, for some odd reason (whcih I am in a way blessed) most of the few people in my circle are now also goiung through breakups, divorces, single, etc. so it helps me to relate. but there is this one girl... she's super sweet but she cannot take responsibility for her actions, even if they are petty and dumb and it is upsetting me a lot.Example, against my explicit wishes, she would tell my ex where I was at so he could go there and find me, I confronted her "did you tell him I was on my way home?" "no, I haven't talked to him" "He himself told me you told him" "oh.. I mean I might have mentioned it"."Did you do this?"..."no", "I have proof you did".. "well I mean... this little thing, went like this... blah blah".It is getting to my nerves...and I considering blocking her... I hate when on a very petty and basic level people cannot take responsibility and make up marry go round stories... Everytime I confront her (three times now) she comes up with a somewhat "could kind of" be true story... but I feel like Im making excuses just like I did for my ex when he would play dumb about stuff...Will I alienate myself? is this too harsh? if not how should I do it? tell her?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (29 June 2018):
 What do you get out of your friendship with her? Does she add anything to your life that you would miss if she was not around?
If all you get from your relationship is stress and her stirring up trouble (and lying to cover her tracks and acting all innocent when you confront her), then cut her off without hesitation and without a second thought. She is dishonest and manipulative at best.
I had a "friend" similar to her when I was at school. Sadly I was too young and naive to work out what she was doing until later in life. She would use me for her entertainment, then pretend she had said/done whatever it was for completely different reasons.
This woman is using you for her entertainment. She has proved she cannot be trusted. You have enough stress in your life without allowing her to add to it. Cut her off and don't look back.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2018): You can always make new friends. After a breakup, the downtime should be used for self-improvement, setting your goals, and pursuing your passions. Not wasted sitting around feeling sorry for yourself; or waiting for an emotional-relapse to happen, and end-up trying to get your ex back.
As for the friend who stirs-up trouble; why does anyone have to tell you how to handle that? Cut her off! Not another word to that traitor! She's his friend now. She betrayed not only your trust; but could have compromised your safety. She doesn't know his intentions when he finds you.
You still need a support-system. Until you find yourself people you can trust and depend on; you reestablish connections with family-members. You need to have them as your built-in support; and have friends as your extended-family, for your external support-system. People who have good relationships and connections through family and friends, can survive just about anything. Speaking form experience here.
That little trouble-maker is just enjoying the drama she creates; and I can guarantee she's at the head of gossip mill.
So even if you have to lose a friend along with a boyfriend; you have the power and the opportunity through time and effort to regain everything you've lost.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 June 2018):
 Block her.
If your safety becomes and issue because she gossips or blabs then DEFINITELY cut her off, and I wouldn't tell her either. I'd just cut her off.
Now it may not be out of malicious intent, she just feels "helpful" or part of the drama, if you know what I mean. Both which DOES not help you in your life.
She doesn't sound like a close friend so cutting her off might just be the easiest. And IF mutual friends ask, just tell them you don't want added drama in your life post break up and she was causing some so you have stepped back from being around her.
Why keep people around who causes drama and stress to your life if you DO NOT have to keep them around?
So yes, I'd block her ass asap. We all have limits to what we ALLOW others to do to us.
Don't waste your time having people around you, you can't trust.
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