A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiMy names rebecca and my boyfriend works long hours. I need some help and advice as I feel very down. I am a very jealous person and always have been. I am worried as my boyfriend is going on a team building evening bowling and dinner with all his work mates and there is a very slim pretty blonde girl there who I dont trust. He has gibdn me no indication to distrust him, I just feel so jealous, am I being silly?
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male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (12 October 2007):
You will only strengthen your relationship with this guy by trusting him. The more this jealousy raises it's ugly head the more strain you will put on the relationship.
Your guy goes to work and he is trying to better himself to secure a better future for himself and maybe a better future for you too if you remain together.
In short he is doing everything right -
be proud -
not jealous.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): Many women (and men) feel this way. Realize- if he wanted the pretty, slim, blonde girl he would be with her. He wants YOU. Whether you are pretty, ugly, slim, fat, brunette, blonde or have a mohawk- YOU are what he wants. You are the one who makes him happy, you are the one he thinks about, you are the one he kisses and (presumably) makes love to. You are his woman (if you don't mind that term!) and he is your man. No matter who he is with or what he is doing, you're the one that he loves and you're the one that "does it" for him. Forget about the blonde girl. If she ever tried something with him, I am SURE that he would have no problem saying "No" since he is not a puppy who sits and stays for a treat- he is a man who makes his own decisions.
You MUST trust him 100%.
To ease your feelings of insecurity and jealousy, I suggest talking to this girl. Be friendly. Once you have properly met the women your boyfriend speaks with/works with, you will probably feel much better. She is no longer a mysterious stranger who could swoop in and steal your man- she's just another chick.
Good luck hun
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (11 October 2007):
 He has never given you any indication or reason to distrust him, so stop thinking things that are not even there. You have got to stop these feeling of jealousy and mistrust because they are not healthy and will end up driving you round the bend. So he is going on a team building event with all his work mates, so what. Alot of companies and corporations do this for employees to boost staff moral. Im sure your boyfriend is only going because its to do with work, and ultimately to look to furthuring his career. So there is a pretty blonde girl going, at the end of the day there is a whole bunch of employees going, not just him and her. And also he is going out with you not her. Trust your boyfriend, he sounds like a good guy, so drop the jealous feelings.
Take care, & good luck x
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (11 October 2007):
Yes you are being silly, but that is normal for someone in your position. Trust grows when you tough it out and see that nothing bad happens. Love means you have to do this.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (11 October 2007):
 Ask him if spouses and significant "others" are invited to attend this bowling event. Tell him you want to go and cheer on his team. He may be happy to have you there and you can keep an eye on things while you're at it. Besides, you may end up being friends with the skinny blonde and realize she's a great person who has problems like the rest of us. Good luck.
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