A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together a few months he is 37 I am 32. But, We have been best friends for 17 years. We love each other very much. We talk all the time he calls, I call there is no issue there. I don't question that or even if he will always be there. He is my beat friend and lover and to top it off my son loves him. Here is my issue. He is job is very demanding. 6 days a week anywhere from 13-16 hrs a day depending on the length of his route that day. We live 30 minutes apart it makes it hard to see each other as much as I would like. But, at the same time I have to be understanding. I knew about his job coming into this. Currently, its almost been two weeks and it feels like forever. Am I being silly expecting more time or at least once a week when I know how crazy his job is??
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female
reader, jls022  +, writes (9 October 2014):
No I don't think you are being silly at all. A relationship needs time together in order to progress, and although you were friends for years, it's a totally different scenario now you are a couple. At this rate, you'll never really move forward.
The problem is, he might not be able to give you (or any woman for that matter) what you need. I agree with the other aunts who say he shouldn't really be dating at all with that sort of schedule. The only thing you can do is sit him down and explain what you need from him in terms of time together. If he says he can't give you that, and doesn't see the situation changing any time soon, then the only option is for you to leave him and find someone who has more time for a relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2014): I don't understand why some of these answers are so snippy. Not needed. I only asked your opinion of my situation.
What changed is we are no longer just friends we are in a serious relationship now and we planning on moving in together in the next 5 months. I can deal with not seeing my best friend for a longer amount of time then I can deal with not seeing my boyfriend. Thank you all for your responses.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2014): You've been friends for 17 years. So what kept it together all this long, that suddenly you can't get enough of his time?
You are an adult, and fully understand the circumstances. Yes,
you're being silly. You knew about his job coming into this.
So what changed?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2014): If he works an average 14.5 hours a day that's 87 hours a week. Can anyone sustain that even if they are single? Where could you possibly fit in here? He must see that a relationship requires for you to see each other.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 October 2014):
 Probably yes. 13-16 hours a day 6 days a week ? no kidding ' ... then when he gets his free day , he's got to cram into it all he can't do during his work week, i.e., everything, basically. Shopping, cleaning,haircuts, seeing friends, repairing stuff, family, resting, a bit of exercise, errands, doctor appointments, who knows what else.
Frankly, I don't even know why someone with such a heavy schedule would even bother tryng dating , until he can't get a better job or a lighter schedule. Of course he hoped to meet a very patient woman, as you are ( or were, since now you are chomping at the bite too ) but , is it even fair to ask a lady to be content with so little, I don't really know.
I am afraid this is something you'll have to think about too, because if this is the real schedule, he will have objective, not subjective, trouble to fit you in his life in more than just a token way.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 October 2014):
 Three letter answer....Y...E....P, sounds silly to me
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