A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need help on how to handle my situation:I'm going to a school dance for the first time with a date. I've never had a boyfriend or even a "thing" with anyone, so I'm kinda nervous. All I've ever had was a few crushes on some past guy friends. Nothing ever happened or probably even had potential too.The guy I'm going with is a just a friend, too. He'd been joking with me about going together. I kept betting him he wouldn't really follow through. Because I honestly thought we were just messing around and I didn't think at all he would ever follow through. it barely crossed my mind that he would take me up on the bet.It was really cute and funny and surprising when he asked me. And I said yes. I kinda set myself up, didn't I? Haha.But, it's not like I don't want to go with him. We are friends and have the same group of friends. Plus, he's a really fun guy and I anticipate it's going to be really fun!It's just that... He's a senior and I'm a sophomore. And the closer to the dance we get, the more flirtatious things are becoming. And it's not one sided, I flirt back. But, for the first time I think he might be seriously into me.Back to the fact that I'm completely pure and dumb to the dating game, I don't know how to catch hints or read signs. I'm not sure what he wants from me and i don't want to lead him on. I don't even know if I like him like that! He's a friend that I enjoy flirting with I guess?... I don't know!!All I know is I'm not even allowed to date a senior, anyways. And I still wanna have a good time with him. But, I don't want to get into any sticky situations. And I don't want to be pegged as lame. But, I haven't even had my first kiss!How should I be acting towards this? How do I know what he's thinking and how to casually lay down my expectations?Ah! The dance is this weekend.Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2014): You're over-thinking the whole situation and trying to figure out things before they happen. No one goes on a first date knowing exactly what's going to happen. You know him as a friend; so there can't be but so many surprises anyway.
How about not trying to read his mind? It's impossible.
It's a date, so have some fun. Be yourself, so you won't make things awkward. He's no stranger. Most dates are awkward when the person is in their head, and not on the date. Worrying too much about what might go wrong, instead of laughing and just enjoying the music and the crowd. Dancing and greeting all your friends; who by the way, will help you feel a lot more comfortable.
Don't lay down any expectations. Let things happen naturally. Don't do anything you don't want to do.
This doesn't mean he's your boyfriend. For now, he's just your date.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 October 2014):
 Let's get rid of the pressure here. You don't have to like, love , or have feelings for your date. Just have a good time!
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