A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:do you think its ok for your fiance to conceal the fact that his ex was going to be at a family gathering,and i felt humiliated and was mortified as i should of been informed even asked if i though it was ok,but i wasn`t even considered,i was so hurt but he didnt careless how i was feeling,yet i opted out of a recent family gathering because my ex was going to be there and i put my man`s feelings first as he was more important
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Have you asked him yourself? He might not have even known.Did he spend time with her and leave you out? Personaly,i thing you are trying to find fault with him.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Concealing something is a deliberate act of hiding a fact for your benefit. He might not have concealed the fact she was going to be there but in reality didn't think it mattered. Why are you so threatened by her? Is she usually at these functions? How long have they been apart? Are there kids? Is she really pretty?
Perhaps there are ties to the family that require her to be there. Why did they split up? Are they enemies? If they're not enemies, why do you want to be one?
I can sort of understand your surprise if you didn't expect it but it is a little petty. Would you have dressed a little differently, changed your hair etc if you knew she was going to be there? Don't make problems where they don't exist. You weren't married to her, your man was.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): What's the big deal? An Ex is an Ex and in the past.
I certainly wouldn't go to the trouble of excluding myself from an event if any of my exes were going to be there. Quite the opposite, because it would be satisfying to see them annoyed by the fact I was there!
Phil
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A
female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 I can under tand why you feel that way but you need to think about it another way. Sometimes exes stay in contact with their exes families, and it has nothing to do with you or your partner. A lil petty, but understandably so.
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A
female
reader, Lila +, writes (5 October 2007):
 I don't think you are being petty at all. When people that you care conceal things from you, it hurts, and when plenty of other people know of your boyfriends deception it adds embarassment to the equation. You should probably ask him how he would feel if the situation were reversed,probably not so hot. Tell him you believe in honesty and disclosure if he is unable or unwilling you know where you stand. Also explain to him that his ex's presence inhits your personal realtionship with his parents.I hope this helps.
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