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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello there,Just wanted some dating advice...I've recently started dating someone I have known for years - long story, but he has been in love with me ever since I have known him. In the past I had not been interested, as I was always involved with someone else. When I first knew him, he became obsessed with me, and even stalked me a couple of times (found out my place of work and followed me) - however he is not harmful, and was always good to me.But after a history of bad relationships (with the "player" types), I decided to take some time out of the dating scene.Whilst on my period of no dating, he got back in touch with me (after not speaking for a year - due to us falling out over his obsession). He seemed calm, and very much together. It was then that I decided to try dating him, as I knew he was a good guy, and would treat me well.We have been seeing each other for a month now. Things have been going well, but every now and then, something happens that "triggers" past events in my mind, and I start to get scared off - almost worried that he may turn obsessive. The latest example of this is that he has just moved house, and is now living just a couple of roads away from me. I don't really mind this, but didn't like that fact that he moved suddenly and didn't tell me! Before, he was living a 2hr drive away from me. Do you think I am being paranoid, or should I be worried about this behaviour? Is this strange behaviour? What worries me is that he doesn't seem to understand how this might upset me, given the fact that he did used to stress me out, when he was too obsessive with me.Whilst he is a good person and would do anything for me, I do still wonder if I am dating him because I feel disillusioned with finding anyone else...I'm a pretty intelligent young woman (32 years old - he is 31), but I'm not sure if my paranoia is ruining the chance of something good or not...Does anyone have any similar experiences?Thanks a lot.Jane xx
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male
reader, tonsta +, writes (4 July 2006):
hi i do feel a little caution should be held here, on one hand he obviously cares a great deal for you but on the other hand how would he react if you was to go out and talk to another guy? , i personally think being obsessive with someone is a good thing (to a certain degree) not in the way of "stalking" but i feel its shows someone cares. in my view if someone is that loved up to feel this way why would they ever go off with someone else? i am a paranoid person i admit i never liked my ex talking to other guys but that was because i never wanted to loose her but being paranoid is not a bad thing. what have you got to loose by trying? it could work out to be something really special and you could look back and think wow i nearly missed out, and if it dosent what have you got too loose? hope this helps and i hope it all works out for you.
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