A
female
age
51-59,
*arah 3838
writes:Hi, i moved from England to Australia a year ago to live with my partner, who is english, but has worked here for several years and is already established.I gave up a good job, apartment and an independant life to start a new life here. i can hear people already thinking "lucky you!!"..however there is a 'but'! Iv recently obtained a visa to work here and the last year has been stressful, iv had to make some big changes and make some huge sacrifices. I love Australia, but i have found it really difficult to make friends and some days feel really lonely. I go out most days and spend a couple of hours scouring the job search too, but have no idea what i want to do yet over here, so im willing just to take anything to give myself some structure. My partner has friends, although not a large circle, who he hardly sees really, and gets on well with his work colleagues of whom he sometimes goes out to lunches with. What has been playing on my mind is, that, i have never met his work colleagues, and every time iv gone to meet him for lunch, hes always drove his car up to my bus stop which is a minute from his work place, and i never get to meet him at his work premises. the only time he took me to his work was when most people were out on lunch or on annual leave so no one was in the office!!! I asked him once, if he was ashamed of me or something, but he said i was really being silly. im wondering if im only thinking like this because i have too much time on my hands at the moment and feel abit lonely, so my thoughts are going into overdrive. id welcome input on this......thankyou Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (24 September 2010):
Hmmmmm, I'm not be thinking "lucky you." I personally wouldn't like to relocate somewhere unless I already had work lined up so I wouldn't be completely reliant on a partner for social interaction and support. I guess that is what has happened here.
You probably are overthinking this, because, as you have noted, you gave up a good job, apartment and independent life for what you have now, and you are not happy with things. You therefore need to think outside the box as far as getting to know people and finding things to do. Try joining a hockey club, or a team sport that you like. Get involved in some voluntary work. There are always loads of charities crying out for people to help. That will help you build up a good social network.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you after everything you've given up. I'm sure once you meet a few people and get a bit of routine going then you will feel much better about things.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 Yes, I think you are overthinking this.
Maybe your boyfriend is just a very private person who likes to keep home and work separated. Maybe he just did not think you would enjoy meeting his workmates.Maybe at his workplace the bosses frown upon people dropping by for social calls.
Anyway, if you would like to be more involved in his social life , just ask him ! Ask him to invite a couple of workmates for dinner, or to organize an evening out with them. Tell him that you feel a bit isolated right now, and, while you are tryng to build up your own social circle (very important ! don't forget to do that ! ) you would not mind if he'd help you to socialize a bit.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that . It's very normal.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (24 September 2010):
 not having a job is making you obsessive over trivial shit because your life has no structure and is unsatisfying. you dont have an income or a support network. join a club or activity that is group orientated and you will get a feeling of socialising that will take time to build up, as do all real relationships with people. making friends is accutally quite rare and you can meet hundreds of people before meeting someone who is genuinely on your level so that is something you will have to push the boat out with...
but the more people you meet eventually you will gel with someone
good luck
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 It sounds like maybe your mind is going in to over drive most people keep there work and private life seperate so i wouldnt let this worry you. I can totally understand though how you must be feelin with no friends and family around you, if you cant get work at the minute then sign up for a womens class, wether it could be a dance class or a hobby you have always been interested in, this will give you something to do and it will have you out meeting new people. You will start feeling better if you have a few friends to talk to and go out for lunch with. Good luck.
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