A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I recently moved out from my girlfriend of 2 years. we were very much in love, but within a month she had invited two other men over for coffee she had met online on seperate occasions. then we started speaking again and decided to give our relationship another go. She swears there was nothing more than talk happened but i just dont believe her. Am i being paranoid or should i believe her. In my experience a girl doesnt invite you in for coffee to just have a chat.
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female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (25 August 2007):
 I agree with the guys below. Its got nothing to do with you anymore. You have broken up and you have both gone your seperate ways. Shes interest in other men now and whether she had sexual intercourse with them is up to her. Shes single. Your not her temple anymore.
You should now get on with your life and look around for other women and have fun.
A
female
reader, skyebabe +, writes (23 August 2007):
 HI YA on one hand you may be paranoid but on the other if you suspect something talk to her about it im sure she will undrestand you side of the story becaus i dont tink she would like it but then again she may acus eyou of not trusting her i say talk to her if u wanna talk email me!! x
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A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 It doesn't matter what happend while you two were broken up. It's none of your business because you were broken up at the time. Hard facts, but it's true. It wasn't cheating if something did happen.
Move on, get it out of your head, stop obsessing over what doesn't matter.
Concentrate on what you can do now to make your relationship last.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Who knows. The harsh fact is that it is not any of your business any more. I'm sorry if that sounds cold but it is the truth. If she told you she were having some kind of sexual relationship with them, what would you do? Maybe she is saying it to keep the peace. Maybe she is saying it because it's the truth.
When relationships breakdown you naturally become more distant from that person and it is quite normal to suddenly start feelings of paranoia and insecurity. Half of your mind knows you are split up, the other half feels like them being with someone else is a kind of cheating and you certainly go through the same feelings as if your partner is cheating, so it is very understandable. But, at the same time, your girlfriend doesn't need to justify her choices to you any more and you are wrong to even ask her what her relationship is with them.
I think you need to accept that even if this occasion is innocent, there will no doubt be future events where they aren't so genuine. Perhaps you should try and use this experience to accept the idea that your girlfriend is now a free women and can see whoever she likes. You would do well to try and get on with your own life; check out some other women and see if you can stop focusing so much on her life.
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