A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiOk so im 15 and a sophmore in high school and my peoble is a little odd. I'm white and about a year and a half ago realized that I am more attracted to black boys than I am any other race. So when I figured this info out I kinda kept it to my self and when I started telling my closest friends they were totally cool with it. The thing is I haven't had a black bf well Ive only really had one relationship and my parents didn't even now about it. Well ok here's my problem I REALLY like this black boy that I go to school with he is so rediculously cute and totally smart and I actually don't know why I'm attracted to him because well I'm the farthest thing from shallow but he's not the most attractive boy,but I find him so cute. The thing is he's a senior and we don't have any classes together but when I see him and he smiles at me I want to meltttt! Ok finally getting to the problem I've talked to him quite a few times because he's on the swim team with me. And someone accused me of liking him just because he was black. Is it possible that I like him this much just because of his skin? Because I want to stick to my stereotype? I don't even know if any of that made sense but if one of you out there understood what I'm trying to say please help:) advice is appreciated! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice:)
He's just a very confusing boy lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): Well I come from very multi-cultural country and mixed marriages and relationships are nothing to blink at over here. You're just attracted to black guys, that's all. I'm attracted to tall, fair guys because I like scandinavian features, whereas I look french and am very petite of figure (I'm of very mixed blood) My sister on the other hand is the complete genetic opposite of me and is tall, blonde, blue eyed and seems to have crushes on Persian and coloured South African dudes. I don't think she's ever liked a white guy. In the end it's not about who looks like what. People are attracted to what their attracted too. You said you didn't know why you liked him but you liked the fact that he was smart and cute. Don't worry about him being black. Just think of him as a boy that you like alot. Who cares what everyone else thinks. Take it easy and enjoy his smiles, sweet heart. Maybe even enjoy a kiss or two ;P
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A
female
reader, carlalalee +, writes (9 February 2009):
Thats not stereotyping... Its just what your attracted to. I like guys with blonde hair and blue eyes, and thats not stereotyping either, everyones different. everyone like different things. If we were all the same everything would be SUPER boring. Maybe its just what you likeee!
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A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (9 February 2009):
I'm white and my wife is black. Every other woman I dated was white. One was blonde. One a redhead. One brown hair. Two crushes had black hair, one fair complexion, the other olive-skinned.We like people for lots of reasons. How they look is only one part, and much of that is their attitude (how they carry themselves, etc).It may be that his skin color is something that caught your eye. Sometimes it is a woman's hair, or a man's arms, or someone's smile. But then we get to see how they treat us, how they treat other people, whether they are funny, whether there is chemistry.The fact that your friends see him as just black says more about them then it does about you. Do they like the boys they do just because they are white? Or Hispanic or Asian? Nope, they like them because they are cute or funny or cool or kind.Don't psych yourself out. Have fun!
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (9 February 2009):
 There is nothing wrong with likeing someone with a different skin color or an accent in their voice or with red hair or blond hair or with freckles etc. You simply need to look at someone more than skin deep. In that way you can see the real person. In this way you can guard yourself against someone that is just putting up a front to draw you to them only so that you can find out lather that they perhaps have a sinister type of personality.
As far as their outward appearance goes just think of this; Noah (yes in the bible) had three sons. One had slanted or almond eyes and the second of the three was what what was called swarthy or dark skinned. Do you think Noah had any prejudice for any of his sons? I think not.
If I were you I would go for the boys you want and not let ANYONE stand in the way of YOUR decisions providing those decisions are not harmful or unhealthy for you or anyone else. I hope it works out well for you. Doc
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A
female
reader, cblover2011 +, writes (9 February 2009):
so i've dated 2 black guys and they were the ones who really counted and not like that middle school stuff...but anyways i had that same sterotype and i thought i just liked black boys and you prob. like him for him your just attreacted to them more and find them sexier...but then i meet this one boy who was white...like me. and now im dating him and i reallyyy like him alot and it really doesnt matter about skin color you just have to get to know the person.
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