A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,What is a right or optimum age to have a baby? I'm 22 and I feel like I'm at a prime age to father a child of my own. My girlfriend (same age) says we are too young and that we should wait. We both work full time so we have regular income and we are both mature for our age. I just don't feel too young to father a child. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Together  +, writes (5 September 2008):
I had a baby at 21yrs and I was very mature....Nothing ever prepares you for a child no matter how mature you think you are. I love my daughter but if I could turn the clock back I would have waited till at least my mid twentys. You have so much ahead of you. Travel together do the things you want to now before you settle down. Get married, buy a house then set everything up for a baby. Don't be in such a rush to have a baby. It is a major life changing choice. Dont ever think for a second that a baby will just fit around your life the way it is now.... Your whole life changes....forever
Goodluck and live first
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): Get married. Go to the state office, get the marriage license, pay whatever small fees you have to, and make it official. You cannot produce any reason on earth why you would be ready for purposely having children, but not ready for this little piece of paperwork first. There is no reason. None. If you can't afford a wedding, then you sure as hell can't afford kids. If you're not ready for that kind of commitment of marriage, then you're sure as hell not ready for the commitment of having kids with her. If you just want the marriage to be a bigger deal with lots of planning and expenditures, then you've got your priorities all out of whack. You should be occupied with what is best for your kids and not yourselves.
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A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (2 September 2008):
 thats a really wise idea, you could even put sume in an account for the littleun when he/she does eventually come along... baby stuff is very expensive and if your gf can see how genuine you are, she may come round a bit quicker
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (1 September 2008):
 if your gf is reluctant then you should wait. Only when both of you are 110%sure. This is a major life decision and not to be taken lightly. What if you break up..then you have to fight custody ectect.I think it's best for now to concentrate on your relationship and making it rock solid before you bring a child to this work. Work out all your issues. A child will change your life. you will not be able to do things at a drop of a hat. There are major sacrifices involved. Age is just a number, but at 22 you have you're whole life ahead of you. What's the rush? Are you afraid to lose her and think this will tie you both together forever? i say take your time and use this time to know yourself. Because once a child comes, that's it. It's all about the baby.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone. Ultimately I know I'm not too old and am still plenty young, but I just feel ready. But yeah, I think it's wise until my girlfriend is ready. It'll give me time to save up some money then...
Thanks
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Uncle Phil is right.
There's no doubt you both are old enough to raise a child well -- people much younger than you have had children and done a great job; but it would be better if you both wanted a baby as much as each other, exactly like Uncle Phil says.
22 isn't old is it...it's like your girlfriend says, she thinks you're both too young!
There is *plently* of time for you!
Take care
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (1 September 2008):
 I don't believe you're too young to father a child either. When your girlfriend says you are, I think she means you're both ta an age where you still have SO much to enjoy and discover about being youthful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): It's not so much a matter of age, more a matter of you both wanting a child in your lives. If one of you is reluctant then now is not a good time.
You might both have a job now, but when a baby comes along only one of you will and you'll have a drop in income. If one of you can financially support the other two that will make it easier than if you suddenly found that you couldn't afford to pay the rent, buy baby stuff and eat. have a look around the baby counter at your local store and check out the cost of all that baby stuff. It ain't cheap, I can assure you.
It's a massive step to take, and wouldn't it be nice if you both wanted a baby as much as each other?
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A
female
reader, Lovedup08 +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Hi, I don't Think there is a "right age" as you put it. Only you know in your heart that you are ready for such a life changing thing. I had my son at 21 and would not change it, but i'm not saying thats right for everyone. It's only you and your girlfriend / partner that can make that decision xx
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (1 September 2008):
you both need to work together on this one... i was 15 when i fell pregnant, and although thats young, i coped really well and my daughter is growing up helathy and happy...
You cant start a family if your gf isnt ready... that would be wrong...
dont forget that you have loads of time left.
Talk more about the situation and say how much having a family would mean to you...
good luck
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A
female
reader, Lovedup08 +, writes (1 September 2008):
Hi, I don't Think there is a "right age" as you put it. Only you know in your heart that you are ready for such a life changing thing. I had my son at 21 and would not change it, but i'm not saying thats right for everyone. It's only you and your girlfriend / partner that can make that decision xx
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