A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently posted a question in regards to my current bf cheating with his ex. It wasn't a one time thing, truth is I don't know how long or how many times or when it even started or if it ever ended when we got together. I believed him then when he said he wasn't with her, but obviously I can no longer trust him if he was able to lie to me straight faced and actually be mad that I could think that. And since they have a daughter together she's around for good. Seriously, a joke. Now of course he claims it's not gonna happen again, blah blah blah. He even actually had the nerve to say HE had conditions if he were to come home! Yes, you read that right. The condition is that I can't fight with him anymore about it, he did something he wasn't supposed to do, he's sorry and he can't take it back so there is nothing else to talk or fight about.Here's the kicker. Before him I was a completely INDEPENDENT women and making $75k a year at the age of 28. Now, the company I was working for went under and soon after I became pregnant so job hunting wasn't going to great. We decided it would be best if I didn't work until after the baby was born. OK. My son was born a little over 5 months ago, but was born with a deformity of his ears which causes hearing loss and he actually had school 4 times a week for speech therapy (I know). The school is far away so it's about a 3 hour even each day. It's also right in the middle of the day so at current, I haven't even been looking or thinking about getting a job since all our bills are being paid. So, now I have decided to have him move back in under the pretenses that I have forgiven him and am willing to move past it. This however isn't the truth. I plan on setting myself up to become independent once again so I no longer need him (my family lives on the west coast, i'm on the east, so not too much help there). So after that whole thing, my question is this....How do I live with him and play house until I can be on my own, but at the same time preceded in making myself fall out of love with him. This one was supposed to be THE one. He treated me exactly how I always dreamed of being treated, he is an amazing father, perfect lover (until I got pregnant that is)showed me love every minute of every day and now I have to stay focused and not be pulled under his spell again! Oh, so one has GOT to know how to do this.I have looked at this from every angle possible and this is truly my only option so I need to know to make THIS situation work.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): Just leave, take the plunge and get on with it instead of entering into a life of deceit.Good luck
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