A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been staright all my life and had boyfriends etc, but just recently i feel like i have a crush on a female teacher. Everyones started calling me a lesbien, but im obvisly not a lesbein cos i like boys, but am i bisexual? or is it just a phase i am going through. HELP!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, confused4321  +, writes (10 November 2009):
i dont think you are because you like boys
A
male
reader, Candleman +, writes (28 September 2009):
 Describe the crush. When you think of her sexually, does it stimulate you? Are there other girls that when you think of them gives you a stimulated feeling?
The key is sexual stimulation. If stimulation lacks then it could just be you really like her for a variety of emotional reasons like she was nice to you, she has a charismatic personality, you like the subject she teaches and combined with a positive personality it creates strong feelings towards her, etc, etc....
If there is sexual stimulation, then the next question is in regards to guys.
Are you truely sexually attracted to the guys, or is just something that you do because that is what is expected?
If you have sexual stimulation for both, then it is possible you are bi-sexual. If you don't really feel it for the guys, then you are probably a lesbian. If you are just attracted to the teacher's personality and do not have sexual attraction, then you are probably straight.
Keep in mind that you can feel stronger for one sex over another and still be considered bi-sexual. The key is that stimulation is felt for both.
You are very young and you are going through stages that ultimately lead to your identity. You obtain your identity through the experiences of your life. This is not just sexual identity, but obviously that is one.
The most important thing is to not let society dictate and hinder your true identity. Only through experience can you come to understand the many facets of your identity.
Also, just because your current feelings may place you as bisexual or straight, that doesn't mean that this is locked in stone. Your identity can evolve over time with the different experiences you have.
I think right now the best term that would fit you is called bicurious.
best regards
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (28 September 2009):
 You are whatever you are and you shouldn't change it for anyone.
This can actually be a good thing, because you will truly know who your friends are.
Don't be afraid of what you are and put those people that bully you in their place.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 September 2009):
Relax. You're at a young age, so your feelings are all over the place. She's just your teacher and you're just a student. That's all. Don't worry about it. As for anyone calling you a lesbian, tell them they're immature and should go and get lives of their own. Don't take bullying, so if it doesnt go away, tell a teacher.
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (28 September 2009):
 No, I don't think you're bisexual. You sound straight to me. Just coz of one crush you don't even seem sure about on a female teacher, it doesn't mean you're a lesbian. People are just calling you a lesbian coz it's fun for them but you know your own mind. I'd say it means nothing.
Good Luck. X
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