A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi just a quick question. Hope you can help. This is not relationship question. It is regarding my work.I work in the community, have done so for 6 years and over the years, i have built up some good friendships.But due to the attitudes of the managers and other people, i have decided i can no longer work for them and have decided to hand my notice in.I have already gotten a new job in another area, but even though i shouldn't, i am dreading leaving those i work with. They are mostly elderly and many without their own families. And of course after 6 years we have become close.I know they will all be upset that i am leaving, and it will break my heart to tell them i am doing so. So i was wondering if you have any words of wisdom. It is going to be one of the hardest things i have ever done.And of course with them being elderly and me one of the people they trust, i am stuck for words. Hope you can help. I just want to break it to them as gently as i can. I am the first to know that they are resilient people, but even so i know the news will surprise and hurt them.Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (7 August 2011):
without meaning to sound insensitive, the elderly people are used to losing people (family grows up becomes more distant, spouses, friends of theirs die) its all very unfortunate but life is like this and they know that. someone else will replace you in your job so the people will still have that service. if you have grown close to the people can't you keep in touch with them and still see them after your job ends?
x
A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (7 August 2011):
Hi, I agree with all the posters. But I have a question I am curious about: how much time are you giving them? I mean, how much in advance are you telling them?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (7 August 2011):
You are very nice to be so concerned,but probably you are worrying way too much. Saying goodbye, and having people coming and going in and out of your life, is simply a fact of life. It does not cease to be momentarily troubling,but normally you get to accept it- serenely if not totally painlessly. And the older you get,the better you realize it and handle it,in most cases at least.
Everybody would like it were always spring and summer- but they do not have a nervous breakdown when fall comes, just aome manageable moments of bittersweet melancholy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): Yes they are a pretty resilient bunch. I think the best way is to tell them as soon as possible. So they have time to get used to the idea and can talk to you about any feelings they have. Much better to do that than drop the news in their laps the day before you go! There is no easy way to tell them so just be honest and say due to some personality clashes you have decided it is time to move to another job. Let them know it has nothing to do with them or the actual work but don't go into detail. You don't want to leave a mutinous crowd waiting for the manager to turn up!
Once you have left the companies employment, you can always visit ex clients as friends if you wish to see them again. I did similar work for a few years and kept in touch with a lovely elderly couple for a long time afterwards.
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A
female
reader, Trinklett +, writes (7 August 2011):
I'm stuck in something close though mine is a group of friends whom I feel I have or we've drifted apart. So this is how I'm handling it. Will go to a lady I'm quite close to among them and tell her my hubby says I should quit this group have done all I can but he won't budge. Guess you can use your parents in this situation and remember to tell your parents
just in case. Yeah I know how bad it feels but when your mind is out of something and you really want out of something you just have to do it.
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