A
male
age
51-59,
*KW
writes:I'm separating with my wife after 18 years together. We have two children, mortgage, but she cheated on me. I forgave her, but she continued with other men, and did some truly slutty things while drunk so it's over, and it's actually her who's pushing for the separation. Ive come to terms with it, the children are beginning to get used to it, the house is up for sale, but there's one thing. We still have sex. Is this normal? She admitted, while drunk, that the guy she is seeing just doesnt do it for her, and is hung smaller than me, so she still comes back to me just for sex. We still live together, and sleep in the same bed, so maybe this is inevitable? Do other splitting couples do this when there is no animosity?Believe me, we've done the anger thing, the rows, all of that, but we're keeping it amicable for the sake of the children and our own sanity. Am I hurting myself by having sex with her (I don't feel hurt), is it stopping me moving on from her? If there was one thing we did get right in our marriage, it was sex, and I still love it. If it's just for physical gratification and nothing else, is that so weird?
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male
reader, makeyourwifehot  +, writes (30 June 2009):
Of all the divorced, separated, and married couples in conflict I can tell you that YOUR situation is more common than a clean, simple break.18 years is a long time and simply not having sex one day is tough for most people.What are your plans?What are you going to do in the future? How do you want your new life to be?Answer those questions and start moving in that direction. Your positive attitude towards you and your kids is important. Regardless of a divorce or not, keep that going.I did (and we actually reconciled!)
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 June 2009):
 It is not weird that you want sex with the woman who is still your wife, particularly if the sex was good. But it is not helping you move on. I think you should stop this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): look at it this way. at least you do not have to pay for it. but in the end you are hurting yourself and deep down you know it., you are still emotionally attached and she has the best of both worlds. how about some pride - for yourself. she screwed other guys, you did not mind(?) and now she screws you and the result is the same. maybe it is time to step back and look at things and especially her critically. she is "used/soiled/tainted" with other men, and you don't mind sharing her. if you were so good in the sack why then did she cheat on you. i know she doesn't respect herself, you accepted her cheating but how about some boundaries - just to protect you. she is pacifying you by claiming that you are better than her lover(s). and you are falling for it. it is wrong for me to judge- but be critical at least. finances, are these sorted out - who gets what. debt- who ends up with this or do you both pay off equally. please remember in a divorce manipulation is rife- your wife is easing her way into a better financial situation by pacifying you, thus far you have been so accommodating. in fact wow, you actually played nice in this divorce. just don't be letter worst for wear financially. i am sure she is getting what she wants both emotionally, sexually and financially. and what about you. you are losing emotionally, financially and sexually. she is saying thank you by rewarding you with sex. she is keeping you busy and preoccupied by the pittance she is throwing at you because she knows you so well. please do not be fooled. there is more to this than meets the eye. it is called divorce settlement strategy. in your case it is evident.
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A
male
reader, citic101  +, writes (30 June 2009):
 Yes its a bit strange , the house is going the family is going but the wife is still around. If its over and you cant get back together then make it over
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