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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfreind who is 15 years older than me for 3 years- i moved to another part of the country with my daughter to be with him, he has severe sexual problems (premature ejaculatuon) we do nothing but argue and i am feeling like do not love him anymore Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (24 April 2006):
 You don't say if the arguments are caused by the fact your partner suffers from P.E. or because of other relationship issues, but as you have mentioned the sexual problem, I will focus on that.
Premature Ejaculation is a very common problem and thousands of men suffer from it. It is most commonly caused by anxiety, and couples can find themselves in the vicious circle of the man feeling anxious about sex because of the P.E. feelings of failure and of letting thier partner down sexually and it all adds to the problem.
This problem can be cured, and with love and support from you, you can both go on to have a normal, satisfying sex life, but it takes a bit of time, and you have to talk openly about it.
There is a fantastic book you can buy which I have on good authority works. It's called "PE How to overcome Premature Ejaculation, by Helen Singer Kaplan, MD.,Ph.D." I'd advise you to buy a copy.
There are many reasons your partner may suffer from this, but there is hope for him. Don't let this problem that can be solved destroy your relationship. I'm not sure where you live, but if you are in the U.K. go and speak to your GP and they can refer you to a sexual therapist who will be able to help, it's covered under national health and free.
Don't be too embarrassed to get the help that's out there for you, if he had some other medical problem, you would encourage him to seek medical help, this problem is no different.
You obviously loved this man to move yourself and daughter to be together, I would sit down and have a heart to heart, try to remain calm and communicate without losing your rag, as Dazzerg has said you need to get to the root of the problem before you can work on repairing the relationship.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (24 April 2006):
 I think there are different issues going on here and we need to seperate them. Also, a bit more detail is needed on what is causing the arguments. You mention that he has problems with premature ejaculation, is this the root of the problems? Are you not feeling sexually satisfied?
In general I think it is pretty normal to feel you dont love somebody anymore when you are going through a rough patch - nobody wants to be in love with somebody or something that is making them unhappy and/or hurting them and its only natural to drift a little.
If you want to save the relationship then you have to get to the bottom of what is causing these arguments and address that. Hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (24 April 2006):
I think there are different issues going on here and we need to seperate them. Also, a bit more detail is needed on what is causing the arguments. You mention that he has problems with premature ejaculation, is this the root of the problems? Are you not feeling sexually satisfied?
In general I think it is pretty normal to feel you dont love somebody anymore when you are going through a rough patch - nobody wants to be in love with somebody or something that is making them unhappy and/or hurting them and its only natural to drift a little.
If you want to save the relationship then you have to get to the bottom of what is causing these arguments and address that. Hope that helps.
...............................
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