A
female
age
30-35,
*etti
writes:I've often thought to myself "I don't think I'll ever have sex unless I'm raped--and then, I'd feel bad for the rapist for having to see me naked."Okay, I'm 20--a few months from being 21--5'4", 220 lbs, horrible self-confidence issues (I think I look like a guy :\), and have never been in a relationship.Strike that, the one time I was in a 'relationship' was with a guy who I had adored for years, only to find out he was pretty much just using me to cover up that he was gay. We never held hands/kissed/went on dates/anything.That being said, I've had zero experience with guys... it seems like all the guys I like are either gay or taken (what a cliche!!), and the one guy who has ever liked me in my life ... well, I just thought of him as a brother. I really wish I liked him, because I hate being this lonely, but it's just not going to happen. Right now, there is a guy who I really, really like. He was my host brother when I was studying abroad, and we've kept in touch, and I'm headed back to his country in a month. When I was at his house, we hung out all the time and he was really sweet and I'm really excited to see him again, and he says he's excited for me to be there again (As a host sister/friend, I am sure, though my mother would like to convince me otherwise).I have standards, unfortunately--and probably hypocritically--so I'm not going to just go out and get trashed and look for a one night stand with the drunkest guy I can find, but...Does anyone have any, I don't know, advice? haha..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 August 2010):
It's all about the confidence. Seriously, it is. At this time, you're so unhappy and underconfident with yourself, that guys will be wary of it.
The very first thing you need to do is to work on your confidence. If you're worried about your weight, then join a gym. If you're unhappy with your appearence, go out and spend on a new wardrobe, or have new haircut or something. Anything where you can look at yourself and be happier is a big step forward. Join a club or something where you can be around guys and just speak to them. And stop worrying! There really is a guy out there for you. But men find underconfident women a little scary. So, instead of trying to get a guy, really work on yourself and your own esteem.
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