A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so I'm 14..gonna be a sophomore. I can't seem to figure out why every guy I date "falls in love" with me. I mean I'm still young and I don't wanna get all serious with anyone but every guy I date about a week later theyre like I think I really love you..and I'm like uhhh thanks? I end up breaking up with them and it hurts them alot..like most of them cried and begged for me back. I want this to stop!! Help??? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 At your age boys tend to confuse lust with love. Meaning, when they say they are in love with you, they are really in lust with you. Saying 'i think i love you' is often a prelude to wanting to become increasingly sexual.
There's probably not that much you can to really. Just look out for a guy who's a bit more mature and on top of his hormones, and he might be able to keep things in perspective and not go all loopy on you.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 I have many ideas in this regard.It is always easy to mistake a strong attraction for love. Love also comes in the form of strong attraction. So, my first guess is that some of those guys may not have really loved you, while others indeed loved you. I have no way to tell.At your young age, many relationships wouldn't last long anyways, love or not. However, please bear with me.You are free to live your life as you want. So, if you want to date people without a serious relationship in mind, you can do it. That will give you what you want, plus a series of things you don't. For example, occasionally one of these guys will truly love you, and you will break his heart. Now, you're free to date, but you're not free to break people's hearts. And you can't assume that hurting people would not be your responsibility in this case.Also, you will find someone who will just want to date informally, and he will use you. You won't be able to claim any harm; first, because you wanted to play, and, second, because you have been doing just that.There is a way not to break people's hearts. Say upfront that you don't want anything serious. Or, don't date those who will want something serious, to begin with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): I've had this too. With me, it was only three days until one guy told me he was in love with me!
I think you should just be honest with them from day one. As soon as you start to get to know a guy, tell them that you just want to have fun, see what happens, and that you aren't looking for a massive commitment or anything. If they are looking for something more serious, then they will be able to realise that you aren't suited together.
But some guys might still want to date you in the hopes of changing your mind. This might happen, you might really fall for a guy you date. But if not, then as tough as it is, I think you are right to end the relationship before it goes too far. I know it is not nice, especially if the guy gets really upset. But I think you are at an age where all relationships seem like "The One", emotions are all over the place, you think you are in love after one week,... I'm sure that these guys will be okay and will get over the break-up.
As long as you are honest with them, then I think you are doing the right thing. x
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