A
male
age
30-35,
*omeoHatesJuliet
writes:Over the past year I have had the most confusing relationship experiences of all time. It all seems to come down to one simple problem, all of my girlfriends have been bisexuals. I can't really explain why, maybe it just goes with the personality I like... who the hell knows. My first girlfriend, whom I broke up with on the prom dance floor because she was being a bitch, actually broke up with my second girlfriend for me and in truth had I felt that the second girlfriend was interested from the start I never would have went out with girlfriend number one. Turns out girlfriend number one's attitude was prompted by the fact that she cheated on me the previous day... Oh and did I mention girlfriend number one is just a lesbian now. I forgot that little jewel. Like I said before she was bisexual when I met her, so for love of god no lame, "You turned her!" comments. Anyway on to the even more confusing parts... After an amazing two and half months full of fun, arguments, sex, and genuine happiness. Girl number two decides to dump me. I took it really hard and everything sucked for a long time. Of course this only got worse when she decided to date my best friend. Oh and guess what my best friend is a lesbian. So in the middle of dealing with that my ex's friend starts lying to me about all this bullshit about my ex and in retaliation I decided to date the ex's friend. Not my proudest moment seeing as how I didn't really feel much for her. So the next day I get a call from the ex and she tells me she still loves me and her friend is a liar. Of course she can forgive her friend but not me... So I break up with the friend and resign to being hopelessly single again. (Girl number three was also a bisexual not that it really matters we dated for a day and the only grief she caused me was dealt with because at the time me and girlfriend number two still loved each other enough to tell each other the truth and believe it.) A month goes by and my ex and friend break up. So after a period of grace for the ruined relationship we decide to do the friends with benefits thing. Which goes great for awhile and I get genuinely happy again. Until she says one day after foreplay, "I found someone new." This leaves me pissed off and with little else to say other than, "I'll just do it myself when I get home." and finding myself driving her home in silence. Things really haven't been the same between us since then. I feel horrible about this but what can I do, I told her I was happy for her, it just sucked for me and that is why I reacted like I did. I really wish we could be friends but I don't think she even wants that anymore. Which brings us to today. As you can see I have been screwed with a lot and for some reason keep going back to this crap over and over and over again. So here are my questions...Are all bisexuals insane?-All signs point to yes at the momentIs it possible for me and the ex to be friends?-I always thought and hoped this would be true but...How the hell do I manage to find a heterosexual girl?-Most of the girls I like now show signs of bisexuality or homosexuality, e.g. pride belts/wrist bandsSubquestion: Does wearing a pride logo, automatically mean homosexuality?This last question is for the ladies...How much does a man's weight really matter. This whole ordeal has left me seriously messed up and lowered my self-esteem even more than it was from poor body image. I weigh approximately 190. I run for a hour three times a week and go to my gym three times a week for about two hours. So I am not in bad health, well except maybe the smoking, I am just a little over weight.And by the way, I have a great sense of humor about all this. If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? Most of my friends just laugh and say, you are one crazy little bastard.
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male
reader, PM  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 "Are all bisexuals insane?"
Only the insane ones are insane, but I think they preferred to be called psychologically disturbed or something slight more euphemistic.
They seem insane to you because you don't understand them so all their actions seem irrational. Do you know why that is? Because you're a man and not a woman. Being a man, it's one of the hardest things in the world to understand what it means to be a woman. I assure you, there's SOME underlying logic here that you just haven't figured out yet.
The basic lesson for you to learn here is that most people and women in particular love to base decisions on emotions. There's actually a big movement in psychological research right now away from using rational thinking to explain emotions and using emotions and motivation to explain them instead. The fact that so much drama is going on means that the emotions in these women you're dealing with are going through the roof and the variation in the drama means that their emotional states are changing. It would take too long to try and figure out the types of emotions felt by these women in each part of your story, but suffice it to say, there are a lot.
"Is it possible for me and the ex to be friends?"
I'm curious as to why you would want to. You obviously have feelings for this woman and aren't over them at all. I doubt being friends with her will help you get over them.
It's not impossible that the two of you could be friends, but I personally don't see any good coming of it. Perhaps you see a different outcome due to some information you haven't shared.
"How the hell do I manage to find a heterosexual girl?"
That depends on what you mean. I know some men who believe that almost all women are bisexual in some sense, even if they don't accept this label. They're curious about being with a woman or have been with a woman at some point in their lives but found some way to make it not count so they don't have the label of "lesbian" or "bisexual" hanging over their heads for the rest of their lives.
If you just accept the fact that women are just more attracted to other women than men are to other men, you can learn to deal with this fact. The only guys I know that check out other guys are gay but all the women I know check out other women.
I think what you're really asking here is (and correct me if I'm wrong) how do you find a woman who won't leave you for another woman. The answer to that is simply to see what other women are providing that you're not. Is it drama? Is it assurance? Give it some thought and I'm sure you'll come up with something.
"-Most of the girls I like now show signs of bisexuality or homosexuality, e.g. pride belts/wrist bands"
I personally think that says something about your preference with women. It sounds like you're drawn to women who give off the vibe that they're open to their sexuality. Whatever it is that draws you to these women, if bisexuality is something they're all going to have in common, then to continue being around these women it'll just have to be something you learn to deal with.
"Subquestion: Does wearing a pride logo, automatically mean homosexuality?"
No clue. My GUESS would be not automatically no, but yes on most occasions.
Lastly, weight does not matter. I personally weigh about 185, granted I'm 6'2" but a woman will only make weight and excuse not to be with you if she just needs to find an excuse not to be with you. If she's not attracted to you, but can't really figure out a reason why then she'll use something about you that society might see as reason for why; he's too tall, he's too short, he's too skinny, he's too fat, etc, etc, etc. I used to think that because I'm so tall women wouldn't want to be with me because they'd feel so short beside me so the only women who would want to be with me would also have to be super tall. Definitely not the case, but I didn't realize that until I destroyed that belief which I hope you will do to.
Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, nadia_luvhurts  +, writes (6 November 2007):
well, sum peeps call me a bi.. but i dun think so.. i luv both man n woman.. but, its just bcos i dun trust MAN enough.. so, i find happiness by luvin a woman.. but obviously, i dun hv any sexual intentions towards women.. quite disgusting to me.. just, myb the women dun trust u much.. jus like me.. i dunno..
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