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All of a sudden my boyfriend is sick of me and thinks I'm too predictable!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with my bf for almost 10 months, and we have been pretty good except for the rare arguments that we work out. He has a huge sense of humor, and he makes jokes about anything, everything, and he knows that I always say he doesnt know when to stop. We are in our early 20s. Recently, he has been joking about how i never look as nice, and my shirt is this and my jeans are that. Its mostly cuz I am really tired or just exhausted so i dont care too much its not like we're going out to dinner. I kept ignoring all those comments. He even said that my face isnt as clear anymore (acne) and that was my best feature. But now he started saying things like "Your voice is annoying, im sick of your reactions, You always say the same things, you always do the same thing, make the same faces, so predictable, expected, do something else"

Well that hurt me alot!!!! cuz thats just who I am and thats how i react and ITS ME! all of a sudden hes sick of it! idk what he really means but what it looks like to me is that he doesnt even like me anymore. you dont get sick of someone if u really like them, right? his words hurt me alot and i dont care if hes joking but he shouldnt joke about who I am. he should be the first person to make me feel more confident not insecure. now we arent talking, even tho i havent told him how i feel, he just knows im mad.

i dont know what to do and i dont know if i can be with him, if he wants me to change and be less predictable. :( any comments, suggestions, am i right or wrong for being so upset?

View related questions: insecure

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012):

thanks guys! i talked to him about it and after 2 days of fighting we worked it out. His reasoning was that he only said that stuff cuz he thinks my overly dramatic reactions are cute. But i did explain how it doesnt come across as jokes and he was hurt cuz he cant be himself but i hope he understands that there is a limit to humor.

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A female reader, CANDY61 United States +, writes (22 March 2012):

I say let him go because he's criticizing you with his little jokes, you do not have to put up with his childish ways, if he really cared about you he would work on the things he doesn't like about you in a polite way, you will meet a nice guy to love you for who you are.

You might want to start watching your intake on greasy food because that will cause acnes, try staying away from greasy or food with fat for a couple of months and see what happens

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (22 March 2012):

shrodingerscat agony auntHere's what's going on. He wants to break up with you, but he's too chicken to do it. So, he's being mean to you on purpose, waiting for you to get sick of him treating you like crap and breaking up with him yourself.

Tell him that you know what he's doing, and you're not going to give him the satisfaction. And that if he wants to end the relationship that badly, he needs to grow some balls and do it himself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012):

sorry to say it, but you should break up with him. he might be "joking" and he might not want to break up, but this is the beginning of the end. it could last for years if you let it. he will slowly start to hate everything about you, and you will start to feel the same way about him. it's just what happens in long-term relationships that are with the wrong person. don't feel too bad or take it too personally, it happens to everyone who is with the wrong person for too long... even things you used to love about them become annoying and unbearable.

so, i'm sorry and i know you were hoping for another answer... but... move on. find the right guy who will love every little annoying thing you do :)

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A female reader, Deagan United States +, writes (22 March 2012):

Deagan agony auntYou are not wrong for being so upset! He is insulting you. You are definitely right, if you really like someone, you don't get sick of them.

Seems to me that he's picking on you because he's not that interested anymore. Apparently it's bothering him that you have acne or you "don't dress as nice anymore." What kind of bull crap is that? What, is he perfect? He means to tell us that he never gets acne or a cowlick in the morning?

He's got high expectations if that's the case. Not to mention he also sounds very shallow when he complains about your looks, and especially because the only thing he knows how to do is joke and ridicule.

Dump him.

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A female reader, LovelyLemon United States +, writes (22 March 2012):

LovelyLemon agony auntSweetie, if this guy loves you then he wouldn't ever say anything like that. When you love someone, you see their best features and admire them, compliment them. Not tear them down! It sounds like this guy maybe likes you, but is trying to get you to change yourself. This is not healthy. Your partner should still love you even when you're hung-over with messy hair, morning breath, and last night's dinner all over you when you wake up (these are extremes, but it seems like we all go there sometimes).

Basically, you deserve someone who will love you even when you don't look completely perfect, and won't give a damn about what you're wearing. Please do what's best for you and move on.

Much love and Best wishes

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