A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 years old, and i have a very big problem. For tthe past 3 or so years, i have had huge crushes on other boys from my year even when i had a girlfriend. It wasn't so much of a problem, as i kept it to myself all the time. This wasn't a problem up until very recently, when i started making up crazy excuses and attenion seeking so that people wouldn't look upon me as "different" if i came out. At the height of this attention seeking phase, i "made" some MP3 recordings of covers of songs and dedicated them to my friends. Of course, it wasn't actually me singing them, but rather some guy off of youtube who's work you could download for free. Eventually, after my popularity increased, people found out that i wasn't the one who made the recordings and started to really dislike me because i had lied to them. At first i thought this was just people over-reacting, but it turns out they they weren't. Even till this day, people do not like me anywhere near as much as they did, and i believe the reason for this is because when they asked why i faked the recordings, i would say "Well, i thought if you guys liked me more, i could be true to myself and others about my sexuality and you guys wouldn't look upon me any differently" - of course they thought this was just more attention seeking.But that is just the beginning of it, two days ago i went to my friends house with my best Male friend, lets call him C. It was a normal, pretty decent day to begin with, but by the end of it, i was holding hands and just pissing about with C. It was good, and i thought he enjoyed it. He came over again the next day, but this time with HIS best friend, and was a lot more shy and reserved. I thought that this was fair enough because he wouldn't want to show people his feelings about me, but i was wrong. Later that evening, he sent me a text message having a go at me for doing all those things and said that he felt "Wierded out" by me keep "touching him". I now really don't know what to do, all my friendshits have gone to shit. And the only thing i have left worth living for is my band.But is there any point?Sorry for the long question, but my problems are just getting bigger. I really hope you guys can help, as i'm lost at when to do. J.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JaimeB.  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 oh my god
im sorry to say this but I wouldnt lik to b in ur situation
if he had fun when u touched him he's obviously gay
most of American Heteros freak out when another guy touches them!!!
Good luckhehe
~love from spain~
jaimeb.
A
female
reader, AbiMF +, writes (29 May 2008):
OBviously I'm a girls so can't comment on the friendship thing, but with regards to C, if you're sure that he was playing along as much as you were then it might well be that he's insecure about his sexuality himself, not necessarily that he is gay or bi but that maybe he thinks he might be, and therefore is annoyed at himself for acting like that and is taking it out on you.
With regards to the other stuff your mistake was probably in starting to act up for popularity. No matter how much of a cliche it is people do tend to respect you more when you are who you are. Oh, and as a final point when I was outed at school I found the easiest way to deal with it was not to make a big deal out of it. If someone asked me directly I'd answer honestly, but I didn't run around proclaiming it or making a big deal out of it. If you don't give a reaction they get bored. Hope it gets better for you xxx
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