A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice, I'm feeling really low right now. My boyfriend and I were due to go away this weekend. It was his idea. I booked everything. My sister has been having some problems and I have been there for her as much as I can. I told my boyfriend about it and he said we shouldn't go away and that I should stay with my sister. I told him I wanted to go away and get away from it all and my sister wouldn't mind and didn't need me there this weekend (she said this to me). Anyway he kept saying "no" and he "wouldn't feel right". I was very upset and I cancelled everything this morning.I spoke to him later this morning and he has apologised and admitted he was wrong. But it's too late now that everything has been cancelled. I feel so stupid because I was looking forward to going away with him for the first time. I don't think I can forgive him for this. I'm not a demanding person and I don't ask him for anything. All I wanted was this one weekend and he couldn't give me that.What hurts is that he didn't trust my judgment and didn't listen to me. I think this is enough to call it a day but would appreciate your thoughts.Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 All these excuses aren't adding up to much. I hope you are able to find a resolution that suits you, but this new information definitely puts a different light on the situation. You're right, that was a bit of an underhanded lie. I've always believed that it is better to be up front and say you don't want to do something, than make up an excuse not to do it. He just doesn't want to be the bad guy, but by doing what he's doing, that's what he's becoming.
Good luck. The new info makes me feel like you may want to start shopping around for a new BF. I hope the other stresses in your life are getting better!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
Here's an update for you.
HE LIED!!! He didn't want to go and admitted to me that he used my family situation against me...As deception goes I have to admit it was a good un. I mean think about it, he comes across as all caring and thoughtful and ends up making me feel selfish for wanting to go! Genius!!!
Anyway he promised to make it up to this weekend. Tonight he called and guess what? He told his sister he was going away with me and she said to wait until his dad returned from abroad in 3 weeks.
You know what? I feel worse than a wh*re right now. I feel used because at least a wh*re gets paid!!
Thanks for reading my rant and thanks for the advice.
Take care x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): It could be he was very considerate and didn't want to stop you supporting your sister because he knows you care for her. It could be that you are low yourself and he thought it might be more fun to go when you were happier. It could be any number of reasons.
But I think you would be stupid to dump him just for this one thing. You can always go away another time. Maybe try just a day out, which you could do at this time of the year to somewhere nice.
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A
female
reader, xx_jelly_bean_xx +, writes (14 July 2010):
I think this is a silly reason to call it a day!!!He thought he was helping you he said that he thought you shouldn't go to help YOUR sister maybe he thought you would regret it if she was that down!!As for the whole, arrange it for another time and calmly explain to him that you are booking the whole to get away from the troubles of your sister!!!Talking about it is better than just ending it!!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 July 2010):
I have no idea the Tenure of your relationship, but I'd venture that someone observant would likely have noticed the stress you were under and agreed that a weekend away would be a good thing. Calling it quits may be premature, especially because he saw the light, albeit too late, but ultimately that is your decision. Maybe he'll make it up to you, or at least wants to somehow. Sometimes good intentions can lead to bad decisions. He apologized, do you think it was sincere? This hardly sounds like an unforgivable offense in my book. He was trying to do what he thought was best for your sister. Again, that's your call though.
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