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All guys adore me and find me the hottest, but would not approach me...are they totally crazy?!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Friends, Long distance, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 May 2008) 24 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2009)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Well i am 19 years old and i am studying in this highly prestigious university in the United Kingdom. I am the most popular girl in class and my classmates think that i am a stuck up, attitude carrying show off. All this is said behind my back. Everyone wants to be friends with me, and they would come to me for fashion tips.

I am rich and i come to class in a BMW, so people think i show off, and guys wont approach me because they consider me to be high maintainance, and yeah i totally am, but whatever. Lets come to the point.

My parents are going to the United States for work purposes, and i am going to be alone for a month, and i have my exams, and i am totally not prepared for it.

I feel lonely and can't concentrate on my work.

My friends wont understand this, and yeah - right now i am single because of all the above reasons.

All guys adore me and find me the hottest, but would not approach me...are they totally crazy or am i totally sleazy to think about this?....Help!!

muahh muahh thanks..

View related questions: my ex, university

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A female reader, XoX--__--  United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2009):

I have to say i agree with brooke here. I've sat and read this post over and over again and to me it seems as though you are 'barbie' sterotypically. It's all about the big 'I AM' . Maybe if you stopped concentrating on what other think of you and more about you exams your meant to be studying for, you'd turn into a decent person that doesn't thrive on the beliefs that she is the most popular girl in school. i mean come on, the 'populer' ones are always seen as stuck up and rich, and you complain about these factors, yet you brag about your 'hotness' and how you have a posh BMW. grow up and start acting your age. Concentrate on more the important things in life rather than what others think of you, cus hey, at the end of the day if your happy with who you are then carry on. If you don't want to be the stuck up bitch, then i suggest you change your attitude and the way you present yourself hunie. x

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (5 May 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntSee if you can connect with the guy who posted this:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-dump-the-trouble-women-while.html

I think you would truly enjoy each other's company.

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A male reader, maxpayne United Kingdom +, writes (5 May 2008):

maxpayne agony auntand hey maybe u can talk to my girlfriend u guys are in the same boat..feel free to message me!

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A male reader, maxpayne United Kingdom +, writes (5 May 2008):

maxpayne agony auntoh my god whats all the commotion about..i read the whole thing and i agree brooke and stacey you guys are wrong..u should not say such rude things to people when they are here for help..anyways to make it clear let me tell u an incident that happened to me last year..there was this really popular and rich girl in my class,she used to come in different cars..and everyone in class used to adore her but none of us would approach her because we thought she wouldnt talk to us and that she is high maintainence..all the girls would bitch behind her back most of them were jealous of her..she became my lab partner and the way she spoke made me realise that she knows she is hot and trust me i found it even more hotter lol..because it showed she is confident about her looks and this is the age to brag about it so i dint mind anyways..anyways once after the lab session one of her book was with me and i know i shouldnt have read it but i did,it was her dairy..in which she had writtten she has everthing looks popularity but wouldnt people talk to her and she asked herself is she that bad and many other things that girl has posted in the question..trust me after reading this i started speaking to her and she was one hell of a person and we r dating now lol and yeah she is high maintainance so what she is brought up like that..so anonymous reader i completely agree with u dont pay any heed to advices given by brooke they don know how it really works

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (5 May 2008):

Stayc63088 agony auntHmm I haven't checked this in awhile and see quite a few responses and updates! Well to explain myself, you come off as a snob, this was my explanation for people not approaching you. And obviously you are insecure since you have to come on here as an anonymous person boasting about being a prom queen... please. I won't answer back, just thought I would explain myself. There is nothing wrong with finding yourself attractive, anonymous poster who said I was being ignorant who clearly has no idea what he/she read. I happen to find myself attractive but as Brooke said, there is such a thing as being humble and it is much more attractive than telling everyone how hot you are. I agree still with my previous post, it makes me sick. Good luck with getting some confidence and being a little more humble, I wish you all the best.

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (5 May 2008):

brooke5426 agony auntRead your own question back, it doesnt make sense. What people are telling you is that how can you be the most popular girl in your class if people are all talking about you behind your back?

If people are all saying you are stuck up then they obviously don't like you. You need to work on how you come across and the impression you give off to people. Clearly you are giving off the wrong idea and people around you think you are stuck up. So you need to ask yourself what are you doing that makes them think that?

THAT is what myself, stacy, lazyguy, kimaxsi, :):):), and lexilou are saying.

I still think this post is fake so i'm not wasting anymore time entertaining this and not coming back in here. Its laughable. So go for it with the big guns while you're posting anonymously on an internet forum. You're really cool.

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (5 May 2008):

brooke5426 agony auntyawn.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

and adding to that read my question again i said i am popular and guys find me hottest..cause come on i find notes stuck on my locker saying *wow ur so gorgeous* or are u totaly looked good in that dress or is it k if i come and speak to u would u put me off..and many many more..i said i am popular because of so many reasons i wouldnt simply say it people !!!i am no retard..well i have realised people talk behind my back either because their jealous or their boyfriends are after me..so thats make me a bitch i dont know how!!lol..i think i should be happy with the attention..and i would appreciate replies from people who understand the question not random people passing judgements on my nature trust me i am not going to accept that kind of response!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

exactly anonymous reader u know the way these people have potrayed me like someone who thinks she is hot!!!i have friends lol come on!!!my best freind is also in the same situation as i..and when i said guys dont approach me i meant that they would do it indirectly as in there was there were so many guys in class who wanted to date me but dint have the courage to come and ask me directly!!now i am sure brooke will ask how do u know they wanted to date u lol so let me tell u straight in the face brooke i know this because these guys friends who i talk to came and told me this..at present my school sports captain is totaly hitting on me he would text me like everyday and i dont even respond to him cause i dont wnt jocks..please get the point brooke for gods sake i know you are not stupid..lol!!!

[Moderator Note] You've made your point. Now will ALL contributors please desist from the mutual pigtail-pulling and stick to the original question.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

Just remember, Stacy and Brookes just responded to HOW you asked the question. They were so caught up with that aspect that they forgot to read the meaning that came WITH the question. They don't know how to read real meaning, just words, and that's too bad for them. Trust me, it's really too bad for them.

But you have to admit (and I'm sure you know), it might be a little much to say you are the "hottest" and this way of expressing yourself naturally gets negative attention & might part of why you get talked about the way you do.

Then again those who matter will see beyond this, but you have to understand why people are so intimidated by you and why so many express their fears and uncertainty by the way of talking about you behind your back. You need to understand how you come across to people, so that you can work on coming across in way that makes you more inviting and less threatening.

Basically some of those who responded should not get so worked up about words. SO yeah, she finds herself very attractive, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Responders should stop getting so worked up about you she expresses herself (details, details) and read between the lines (stop being so judgmental because that is exactly what you're seeking to avoid)! Anyway, we all know looks aren't everything! The point is, she acknowledged that even though she appears to "have it all", it doesn't mean she actually has it all... And the fact that she admits she is lonely means she has come to a very humble place and reaching out for help. Obviously, it's part of why she wrote her the question in the first place. She's wondering about how to get people to look beyond her wealth and attractiveness. Not easy. People get jealous/uneasy. That's why she needs to go the extra mile to listen and take an interest in others, stop hiding behind her wealth, ec. learn to be very approachable, etc. etc.

Part of the way you (female asking question) express yourself has to do with getting defensive. It's totally understandable because you have been judged for so long based on your wealth, perceived popularity and looks, and not so much on WHO you are. I totally understand where you're coming from and why you might express yourself that way. The secret is to overcome this to the best you can. It's not fun to be stereotyped by those who do not even truly know you. Some don't want to get to know you simply because of factors that don't even get at who you really are. It can leave one feeling very lonely and poorly judged, not to mention, bitter and such.

Also, it's true that being high maintenance isn't a particularly attractive quality according to the average person, but that doesn't mean it's her ONLY (good/bad) quality!! We all have good and bad qualities.There is probably so much more to this woman than being high maintenance. DUH!

Sooner of later you will meet people in your life who will accept you for who are and who will get to know the amazing person behind the appearances! Just be patient! Enjoy life to the best you can, and this will make you more attractive in a different way. Don't sweat the talk behind your back. I know this is easier said than done, but at the end of the day, some people will just be 'people', and there isn't always a lot you can do about it. Abo ve all, don't be afraid to shine!!!

xoxoxox

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well brooke i am not screaming around that i am popular and hot i am telling the truth..and neither am i assuming..i am the reigning prom queen and if u dont know am sure u dont cuz u were never one ..inorder to become the prom queen people have to vote for u..doesnt this clearly show what i have to say..get the question right next time and then pass statements..your here to give advice which should help people dont pass judgements..

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (4 May 2008):

brooke5426 agony auntI happen to think i'm not bad to look at and both of my parents are surgeons. We're not exactly broke. But if I was to walk around claiming to be the most popular person in my class (even though every bitches about me behind my back) and that all men adore me and find me the hottest and must be crazy to not want to talk to me, I wouldnt expect to be popular. I stand by whats written on my profile - i couldnt care less about my face/money/anything else material, i like myself because i know i am a good person and have done numerous things in my life that most people wouldnt be decent enough to do. But im not running around screaming about it. Its called being humble. Its nice to be important but its more important to be nice. Its a shame more people arent brought up that way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank u so much annonymous reader..i really dint expect people to respond this way especially stacy and brooke it was very very rude..i really dont care on what they have to say..i listen and work on advices given by people like u and ask older sister.without even understanding the questions they make their statement..anyways thank u soo much annonymous and older sis u guys are totally gorgeous..i love ya!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

Stayc and Brooks... those were pretty ignorant responses. There's nothing wrong with finding yourself attractive! Ultimately beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but to say her question makes you sick!?!?! Come on now! What's wrong with YOU? She's just asking for help! I think her question is perfectly legitimate!!! She's reaching out to get help, and so what if she is high maintanance?? It doesn't give you the right to be sick over her question!!

Anyways ya don't get your point across by shutting her down. So she is wealthy?! Does that make her a Paris Hilton? I don't think so!

I really hope you can show people what an amazing person you are despite what you drive to school in! I hope they stop talking about you!! Good luck!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

and yeah gosh u guys i have guys chasing me but they are the fucking dick head jocks..i want nice guys but they wouldnt approach anyways if u still dint get it then screw it..and of course a beautiful girl has men running all around her..be it in my university to beleive it..thanks may be i will just take the attention i get from the guys right now and see later on how it works lol!!!thanks to wendlemoot,the smile reader,tt.kimaxsi ,and the annonymous reader your answers really helped and u understood my question..the rest of them were ewww!!!anyways i will try making conversations with them from now on and not wait or them to come to me..thanks u guys!!luv ya..muahh muahh..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well brooke u dint get the point of course u didnt otherwise u wouldnt have posted that ..listen i have a lot of friends and i have dated guys but outside school, boys studying in different schools..in my school not yet although a lot of them have tried but i dint like them..cause the one i want hasnt appraoched me as yet..

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (3 May 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntAs so often, the answer would be obvious if you look at your own question from a different angle, say this question was posted by a guy, would that guy be attractive to you?

For that matter would you believe his description of himself? A walking Adonis but no girls approach him, how could this possibly be?

So what are you not telling here? Are you exaggerating your own looks? Well possible, but if you think you are a ten while in reality you are 'only' a 7 you would still be approached. Even being stuck up wouldn't stop some males who are just after sex.

So perhaps there are some guys who approach you but they don't meet your standards?

Your description of yourself just doesn't work. All the guys adore you and think you are the hottest yet absolutely not a single one approaches you? Well a lot of men are intimidated by women who are too beautiful, they don't think they got a chance, so they don't even try but there still should be plenty left who feel confident enough to try. Even if your personality is horrible, there still should be guys going after you because plenty of males will chase anything in a skirt no matter what.

So what are you leaving out.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (3 May 2008):

Stayc63088 agony auntOh wow. This makes me sick. Get over yourself chick. For real, you are the stereotypical rich bimbo who thinks everyone likes her when really they all talk about her. I agree with Brooke 100%. Everyone loves you and is friends with you yet they talk about you behind your back..? Makes no sense. Realize there are more important things than "hottness" and driving a BMW... Maybe someone will like you then. Good god you are sad. Good luck.

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

brooke5426 agony auntI'm sorry but what planet are you on? You're the most popular girl in class but all your classmates talk about you behind your back and they all think you are stuck up? You're not very popular at all then are you!

And maybe part of the problem with guys is that you describe yourself as adored by all men and "the hottest" and you think they must be crazy to not want to talk to you. How do you know they find you the hottest if they wont even approach you? They dont want to talk to you because you are an arsehole.

My instinct tells me this post is fake, and I hope it is but if its not then the reason your classmates dont like you and boys want nothing to do with you is simply that you come across as a total dick. You really need to tone down your Paris Hilton-ness attitude and maybe you will be that popular girl you like to pretend you are.

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A female reader, TT United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

TT agony auntJust a little quip, that always helps me, when i feel fabulous, gorgeous and sexy.....but seem to be alone.....

-------------------Girls-----------------------

--------------are like apples----------------

---------on trees. The best ones-----------

--------are at the top of the tree.----------

------The boys dont want to reach--------

----for the good ones because they-------

--are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----

-Instead, they just get the rotten apples--

---from the ground that aren't as good, --

-but easy. So the apples at the top think-

-something is wrong with them, when in--

----reality, they're amazing. They just----

-----have to wait for the right boy to------

-------come along, the one who's---------

-------------brave enough to---------------

------------------climb all-------------------

------------------ the way-------------------

------------------to the top------------------

-----------------of the tree.-----------------

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

Well you know your classmates don't have the life you lead. What makes you popular if you are lonely?

I also get told I'm stuck-up and act too good for some people. Deep down I think I am too good for some people! But sometimes you have to get off your high-horse and appreciate people come from different backgrounds. People are probably intimidated by you!! Many people are likely nervous to be around you. So they say things behind your back? That's what people do when they are afraid and unsure!!

I'd just work on being approachable and really listening to others. It's truly a skill. If you want real friends, you have to be a real friend. I'd just work on finding good friends before getting all the boys! Good luck!

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A female reader, :):):) United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

It doesnt matter if the guys think you are hottest. Its

personality what attracts people to others.

If you were the most popular girl you wouldnt feel lonely.

Popularity doesnt get you grades.

Show them that your not stuck up girl they think you are,talk to them,find out what their interests are and get involved.Afterall, being high maintenance isnt an attractive quality.

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A female reader, MissWendlemoot Australia +, writes (3 May 2008):

MissWendlemoot agony auntI would say that the guys would already think you have a boyfriend and are intimidated by you.

usually the only guys who have the nerve to approach you are super hot or are jerks. You will most likely have to approach boys you like first. This is good in a way as you can pick whoever you like.

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

lexilou agony auntYou need a reality check.

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