A
male
age
30-35,
*OOMUCHONMYMIND
writes:Hello everyone, this is my first post and this is my first question.When I first got together with my girlfriend the sex was great... every opportunity we had we did it. It's been 2 years and 3 months now and we are both 18 years old, but now we barely have sex, we have sex almost up 2 or 3 times a month!, sex doesn't seem interest her anymore.... is it me or whats your opinion? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, candy15 +, writes (21 September 2010):
 she is tired of it or perhaps she is working too much or
something else is happening... talk to her and find out what is wrong... always be nice no matter what...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Have you tried talking to her about the matter? It can be a rather intimidating and embarrassing subject to bring up, but it's crucial to a relationship to maintain open lines of communication on all topics. Just sit her down when you're both calm and alone, and voice your concerns. Avoid guilting her with things like "Am I not X enough for you?" or "Do I not please you?" She will not respond honestly, instead telling you what you want to hear. After two years in a relationship, having sex can become a bit routine and repetitive. Have you tried asking her what she likes? There are plenty of ways to spice up your sex life, and the most cost effective is simply communicating with your partner and trying new things. This includes technique, foreplay, positions, fantasies, roleplay, toys and more. It's all about finding out what makes your partner happy. Men and women get turned on in different ways, so what works for you may not work for your partner. A man, for example, will usually be aroused by visual displays (i.e strip teases, porn videos and magazines, etc) whereas a female responds more to scent (i.e pheremones, a familiar smell, perfume). Men generally respond more to what they see; whereas most women naturally prefer what they smell and hear. The only place they intersect is on touch, where both respond to both touching and being touched. But it's not all about the sex itself. Many women have a strong emotional connection to sex; so if she's unhappy with your level of emotional intimacy (spending time together, communicating, etc), then she'll be unlikely to want to initiate physical intimacy with you. Get to know her as a person (what she likes, her little quirks, etc) and she'll feel a lot closer to you. That's if you don't do that already, of course. Ultimately, it could be a result of a number of things, or it may be nothing at all. Perhaps you need to improve your technique, or initiate sex more often; or you may need to improve your bond as a couple to regain that trust; or possibly she may have been purely run off her feet recently and hasn't had time to even consider sex. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, ailemaaax  +, writes (21 September 2010):
You guys are well past the "honeymoon phase". This doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't still feel the same about you, but her hormones maybe aren't driving her mad to "mate" with you every few minutes like they may have been in the start.I am around the same age as you and have been in my relationship around the same time, and we have sex a lot less than we used to as well, although still at least every other day if we are together -- more if he takes me out and dotes on me!It could be that she's just settled down, and maybe she'll need more "foreplay" to get her into it now -- and by foreplay, I don't mean feeling her up. I mean taking her out and doing fun things together, getting her in the mood. (:If you're already doing all these things, perhaps she has something on her mind which is distracting her, or maybe she's just the sort of person (once you get past the honeymoon) who just isn't into doing it heaps. Or perhaps you could try something new in the bedroom -- although I know that after two years I don't think there's much me and my boyfriend haven't tried, and you're probably the same and already know what each other likes.Hope something I mentioned helps. (:
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Hey, Good question. I think all relationships need work, that includes the sex. Talk to her, ask her if there is anything that she is missing. Perhaps the romance needs some work? Do something nice for her, on a regular... Women are emotional, while men are not so much(generally). What did you guys do in the beginning that is not being done anylonger? Dont take each other for granted in any way, that will kill anything good. This is not a one way street. - K
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