A
female
age
36-40,
*nsparks
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating about 2.5 years. I love him and want to marry him and he says the same....BUT he is not ready right now. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!? I really do not understand, he says he does picture me as his wife and pictures of having kids but he is not ready right now.We already have a house together so its not like a commitment issue is it?I feel like I am not good enough for him and I have told him that...multiple times. I tell him I am concerned that maybe I am not the right woman for him because if I was...then he would want to marry the love of his life. IS it silly for me to worry about this or is he really just not really? (whatever that means) And second does anyone know what that could actually mean?I am a very vocal woman and express myself and concerns. I do not want to a pressuring girlfriend but I do want to waste all my years on a man who is not right for me.What to do?!?! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): it probably means he doesn't want to freak himself out. 2 and a half years is quite quick to get married, and if marriage is on the table then it's obviously serious! So don't worry
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (24 December 2010):
 If is he around your (22-25) age, then yes, he is shd be responsible enough to take on marriage, but a niggle in his mind is holding him back.
Ask him what he wants to do, see, experience, achieve before he will be ready to settle down.
And if you can help him meet these ambitions, he should appreciate that you are on his team.
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A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 well i think it means he;s not ready to have kids.its not you its him, he's being honest and telling you how it is for him.he's not mature enough.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 It just means he is not ready, perhaps he wants to secure a happy future financially? Perhaps he wants to ensure that he has the right stuff to be a good husband. Marriage is sacred and it cannot be rushed into. You have to be entirely sure that it is what you want because your vows will be "Till death do you part". He needs to be ready, emotionally, physically perhaps, financially and mentally. That does not mean you are not good enough, that does not mean you are not the right woman for him and it does not lessen the truth he speaks when he says he can see you as his wife, it is a personal matter.
I hope that helps.
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